The business of being good
February 2, 2004 | 12:00am
Lately, I’ve had mixed emotions. I have attended despedida dinners for my friends Gemma and Simon who have decided to migrate to the US for good. I am happy for them. After all, the US is a great country to live in. Plus, their lovely children Simona and Sam will definitely have more opportunities in life, especially if they have the benefit of a US education.
On the other hand, I feel really sad that they are leaving because they’re two of our closest friends. Anytime anyone close to you leaves, you feel a certain emptiness inside. And, on a purely patriotic level, I feel sad for our country. Since both of them are very bright, young, vibrant and charming, it’s such a shame that by next week, our country will have two less beautiful and talented people (four, if you count their kids).
When they said they were leaving for good sometime last year, my ever-inquisitive mind started asking questions. Why we do use the words "for good" when we refer to something permanent or forever? Is permanent or forever always "for good"? Sometimes it is. Eternal life in heaven is good. But hey, you don’t want to be in hell for good.
I think there is wisdom in using those words. I think that should be the goal in our lives – to always do something "for good." And this should be our permanent disposition – to be good, to do good, or to make good, always. I know it sounds so elementary. I’m sure you’re getting visions of your old Grade 2 teacher admonishing your class, "Boys, be good!"
But just like the word "fair" which I talked about last week, the word "good" seems to be losing its essence and importance. For instance, when the guards and the receptionist in my office greet me in the morning, it is no longer "Good morning, sir!" It is just "Morning, sir!" Sometimes, I am tempted to answer, "Yes, alam ko na morning na, kaya nga ako nandito sa office."
When people knock on our door and I open it, I usually get, "Afternoon, sir! Nandyan si Nene?" or "Evening, sir! Puedeng maki-gamit ng banyo?" Where did the word "good" go? At best, you would probably get the last letter of "good" (the "d"), so you would get, "Devening sir! Or "Dafternoon, sir!" But you rarely get the whole word "good" anymore.
This sin of omission is very prevalent in texting. Whenever we text, we don’t type the whole word "good" anymore. We either type the word "gud" – or sometimes even just "Gd." "Good morning" has now become "Gd am!" Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Why are we scrimping on the word "good" these days? Is it because there’s a general lack of it? At the workplace, whenever we try to hire people, and we are looking for good people, we normally mean "decent, hardworking and a solid background." But rarely do we look for really "good" people – meaning, people who are kind, gentle, selfless, and always willing to help. We look for young, driven, industrious, persevering workers.
I guess the reason for this is being good (being selfless, kind, wholesome, and willing to help) hardly shows on the resume. In your resume, you only have your accomplishments and your work experiences. But you will never find in resume a phrase like, "voted as the most likeable guy in the office," or "always willing to help attitude," or "pure of heart, kind, understanding, and gentle fellow." Why? Because these traits don’t sell in the work place. Companies go for people who have learned and achieved things. Rarely do people get hired for what they are as a person, whether they are good or bad. And it’s understandable in a way.
After all, business is not all about getting angel marks or gold medals like it was in our school days. It’s all about the bottom-line baby. If you don’t bring in the dough – or at least contribute in bringing in the dough – boom, that’s it, you get your walking papers the next day. And it doesn’t matter if you’re a really darn good guy. Which is kind of sad, don’t you think? Nowadays, "good" is no longer a premium. It’s almost a liability sometimes. I know some girls for example who don’t like good guys because they’re lame, wimpy, and pushovers. They go for the maginoo pero medyo bastos — guys who are salbahe and pilyo. Guys who will most likely give them a hard time, and a broken heart. Why? Sheesh, I don’t know.
I was watching an old movie on TV recently titled What’s Eating Gilbert Grape. It featured the then very young and good-looking Johnny Depp (who, incidentally, is one of my favorite actors because of his depth and intensity), a still unwrinkled and very fresh Juliette Lewis, and a nose-picking, totally unglamorized, mentally-challenged, excruciatingly irritating but very effective, pre-Titanic, Leonardo Di Caprio, who plays Depp’s younger brother.
It’s a simple story about a country guy named Gilbert Grape (Depp) who, just like most of us, has a lot of issues and burdens in life, but, unlike most of us, bears his daily yoke with selfless love, dedication, and a quiet, uncomplaining disposition. Gilbert was totally dedicated to his 800-pound mother who just sits the whole day watching TV, his two sisters, and his brother Arnie (Di Caprio), a "special child."
Throughout the movie, you can sense Gilbert’s desire of having a life of his own. But alas, he is the only one that his family could depend on. He is the breadwinner, the man of the family, and the protector of Arnie. At one point, Juliette Lewis asked him while they were lying down on the grass, "What do you want, Gilbert? What do you want in life?" He answered, "I want aerobics classes for my mom and a new brain for Arnie." And Juliette asked, "How about you? What do you want for yourself?" And Gilbert answered, "Me? I just want to be a good person."
You know, that line struck me a lot. All my life, I have always wanted to be something (an astronaut, a pilot, an actor, a famous singer, a successful businessman) but I never dreamed of becoming "a good person," which, for me, is an amazing ambition to have because there are a very few people who dream to be that, and eventually achieve it.
To my good friends, Gemma and Simon, let me just say that I feel "bad" that you are leaving "for good." But I do know that you are leaving for the "good" of your children, which is a good thing. I wish you all the best, and thank your giving me a lesson on "goodness." Because that is what you are.
Godspeed and hope to see you really soon!
Thanks for your letters, folks! You may e-mail me at rodnepo@yahoo.com.
On the other hand, I feel really sad that they are leaving because they’re two of our closest friends. Anytime anyone close to you leaves, you feel a certain emptiness inside. And, on a purely patriotic level, I feel sad for our country. Since both of them are very bright, young, vibrant and charming, it’s such a shame that by next week, our country will have two less beautiful and talented people (four, if you count their kids).
When they said they were leaving for good sometime last year, my ever-inquisitive mind started asking questions. Why we do use the words "for good" when we refer to something permanent or forever? Is permanent or forever always "for good"? Sometimes it is. Eternal life in heaven is good. But hey, you don’t want to be in hell for good.
I think there is wisdom in using those words. I think that should be the goal in our lives – to always do something "for good." And this should be our permanent disposition – to be good, to do good, or to make good, always. I know it sounds so elementary. I’m sure you’re getting visions of your old Grade 2 teacher admonishing your class, "Boys, be good!"
But just like the word "fair" which I talked about last week, the word "good" seems to be losing its essence and importance. For instance, when the guards and the receptionist in my office greet me in the morning, it is no longer "Good morning, sir!" It is just "Morning, sir!" Sometimes, I am tempted to answer, "Yes, alam ko na morning na, kaya nga ako nandito sa office."
When people knock on our door and I open it, I usually get, "Afternoon, sir! Nandyan si Nene?" or "Evening, sir! Puedeng maki-gamit ng banyo?" Where did the word "good" go? At best, you would probably get the last letter of "good" (the "d"), so you would get, "Devening sir! Or "Dafternoon, sir!" But you rarely get the whole word "good" anymore.
This sin of omission is very prevalent in texting. Whenever we text, we don’t type the whole word "good" anymore. We either type the word "gud" – or sometimes even just "Gd." "Good morning" has now become "Gd am!" Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Why are we scrimping on the word "good" these days? Is it because there’s a general lack of it? At the workplace, whenever we try to hire people, and we are looking for good people, we normally mean "decent, hardworking and a solid background." But rarely do we look for really "good" people – meaning, people who are kind, gentle, selfless, and always willing to help. We look for young, driven, industrious, persevering workers.
I guess the reason for this is being good (being selfless, kind, wholesome, and willing to help) hardly shows on the resume. In your resume, you only have your accomplishments and your work experiences. But you will never find in resume a phrase like, "voted as the most likeable guy in the office," or "always willing to help attitude," or "pure of heart, kind, understanding, and gentle fellow." Why? Because these traits don’t sell in the work place. Companies go for people who have learned and achieved things. Rarely do people get hired for what they are as a person, whether they are good or bad. And it’s understandable in a way.
After all, business is not all about getting angel marks or gold medals like it was in our school days. It’s all about the bottom-line baby. If you don’t bring in the dough – or at least contribute in bringing in the dough – boom, that’s it, you get your walking papers the next day. And it doesn’t matter if you’re a really darn good guy. Which is kind of sad, don’t you think? Nowadays, "good" is no longer a premium. It’s almost a liability sometimes. I know some girls for example who don’t like good guys because they’re lame, wimpy, and pushovers. They go for the maginoo pero medyo bastos — guys who are salbahe and pilyo. Guys who will most likely give them a hard time, and a broken heart. Why? Sheesh, I don’t know.
I was watching an old movie on TV recently titled What’s Eating Gilbert Grape. It featured the then very young and good-looking Johnny Depp (who, incidentally, is one of my favorite actors because of his depth and intensity), a still unwrinkled and very fresh Juliette Lewis, and a nose-picking, totally unglamorized, mentally-challenged, excruciatingly irritating but very effective, pre-Titanic, Leonardo Di Caprio, who plays Depp’s younger brother.
It’s a simple story about a country guy named Gilbert Grape (Depp) who, just like most of us, has a lot of issues and burdens in life, but, unlike most of us, bears his daily yoke with selfless love, dedication, and a quiet, uncomplaining disposition. Gilbert was totally dedicated to his 800-pound mother who just sits the whole day watching TV, his two sisters, and his brother Arnie (Di Caprio), a "special child."
Throughout the movie, you can sense Gilbert’s desire of having a life of his own. But alas, he is the only one that his family could depend on. He is the breadwinner, the man of the family, and the protector of Arnie. At one point, Juliette Lewis asked him while they were lying down on the grass, "What do you want, Gilbert? What do you want in life?" He answered, "I want aerobics classes for my mom and a new brain for Arnie." And Juliette asked, "How about you? What do you want for yourself?" And Gilbert answered, "Me? I just want to be a good person."
You know, that line struck me a lot. All my life, I have always wanted to be something (an astronaut, a pilot, an actor, a famous singer, a successful businessman) but I never dreamed of becoming "a good person," which, for me, is an amazing ambition to have because there are a very few people who dream to be that, and eventually achieve it.
To my good friends, Gemma and Simon, let me just say that I feel "bad" that you are leaving "for good." But I do know that you are leaving for the "good" of your children, which is a good thing. I wish you all the best, and thank your giving me a lesson on "goodness." Because that is what you are.
Godspeed and hope to see you really soon!
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