Buzzwords

Shock and awe has been the latest buzz phrase, but natch. A headline writer in this paper’s sports section quickly turned it into "Shaq and awe" – to paraphrase what Kobe Bryant asked of his fellow Laker if they were to achieve a four-peat in the NBA.

The war in Iraq has spawned quite a few favorites for current verbiage, as follow-up to the decade-old "the mother of all battles" – attributed to Saddam "Insane" when first confronted by a George Bush (le pere) in Gulf War the Prequel.

"Collateral damage" and "friendly fire" have also been with us for some time. Now it’s WMDs or "weapons of mass destruction" – which has inspired spin-offs among pundits, who goo-goo-eyed claim the quality of becoming "weapons of mass distraction" for bikinied beauties. Me, I’d rather call ’em "figures of speechlessness."

But the hero of the sequel has undoubtedly been Iraq’s unfortunately vanished info minister, Mohammed Said al-Sahhaf, who gave spin doctoring an admirably new spin to gain universal acclaim as the stand-up comic of the hour. Even George Bush fils is reported to have been awed by the man’s incalculably cheery sense of chutzpah. A website that may claim honors for the longest url, www.welovetheiraqiinformation minister.com, was quickly launched in the US to memorialize the purveyor of in-your-face defiance, with his most quotable bons mots drawing as many as 4,000 hits per second from all over the world, forcing the webmasters to seek larger cyberspace to accommodate all visitors.

Al-Sahhaf’s "treasury of deathless quotes" leads off with "There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never!" Another favorite is "We shall slaughter them!" He reminded us of the Monty Python take on the Green Knight who vainly defended a bridge crossing against all comers, including one – Sir Gawain if I recall Arthurian lore correctly – who chopped him up in a mano-a-mano, and had the indomitable warrior on the ground, reduced to stumps, armless, legless, but still crying out his challenge: "You had enough!?"

Now, that might also have been a precursor for the never-say-die spirit a la Ginebra Kings, as well for all the confrontational episodes we’ve been watching on TV, and which inevitably induce positivist commanders-in-chief to utter the fresh resolve of "winning the peace."

In our neck of the woods, "at the end of the day" has become a familiar shibboleth in recent years, although I recall first hearing it used in political "blah blah blah" by a so-called "presidentiable" as early as the lead-up to the ’98 elections.

Oh, there’s a relatively new one that’s catching on, albeit not rapidly: "pushing the envelope" – which basically means taking something a level higher. It’s an aviation term as I understand it, explained in brief by Cebuano novelist Carlos Cortes who used it in a literary paper he delivered at a UP Baguio workshop a few years ago. Well, our buddy Charlie happens to work at the Mactan airport, so he should know whereof he speaks.

Another rising star of a catch phrase is "the tipping point" – which was introduced to mine own ears by the current presidentiable Mario Taguiwalo, who was raving over a book titled such. Or was it a term used by the author of that sociological treatise, used in but a chapter or section? Whichever, I get the impression that it’s taken the place of "critical mass" – which DFA Secretary and wordsmith par excellence Blas F. Ople was so fond of abusing during and after the Marcos years. Perhaps in much the same manner that Dr. Henry Kissinger soon had everyone over-using "window/s of opportunity."

Speaking of those times, let’s not forget that Imelda Marcos it was who contributed "humongous" to fashionable vocabulary, both here and abroad, it appears. Ironically, that word’s rise to prominence got a boost only after her better half heard the memorable "Cut and cut cleanly" over a Palace phone.

Thankfully, "even as we speak" has replaced "at this point in time," which of course some TV news anchors, sportscasters and long-winded introduction speakers still use, to fill up air time, or give themselves a chance to think of what to say next.

The late great Joe Cantada’s "cardiac game" we don’t quite hear anymore, even when a basketball game is all even or going see-saw in the last twoooooo minutes. What we hear is the apocrypha credited to a full-blooded Pinoy cager, who in response to a Fil-Am’s genealogical epithet, in black Americanese, in this wise: "Madapa ka rin."

Similarly, the Kano macho’s "in your face" has its Pinoy kanto-boy counterpart in "sumakay ka pa." Yes, our favorite sport continues to seed more memorabilia than psychobabble or New Age-speak. "Hang time," "slamma jamma," "and one" et al have colonized virtually all the concrete courts of globalization. Still, there are fresh takes. "Air Jordan" was shamelessly variegated to "Air Canada" in referring to Vince Carter of the Toronto Raptors. But this was in turn one-upped by "Hair Canada" – the ever-tousled Canadian point guard Steve Nash, who’s bound for a Final Four in the pros with the Dallas Mavericks.

Meanwhile, the incomparable MJ has been triangulated in a cloning session for a TV ad. Jordan as the younger Chicago Bulls star goes one-on-one with the 40-year-old Michael as a Washington Wizard. When both take to the bench, the amateur Mike as a North Carolina Tar Heel comes in to demand: "Who’s got next?"

I couldn’t decipher this initially; thought I heard "Who’s got net?" One of my boys continues to correct me, even if he can’t explain the seeming grammatical lapse of the current quotable. Well, I never could understand "Got milk?" either, whether it’s a promo for all brands of milk, or just a handle for the NBA Rookie of the Year award.

I’m glad "parameters" has had its day, just as "paradigm" went on the wane in the mid-90s. They bring back to mind that strange word of the 60s – "paradox" – which a freshman classmate at UP tried to pass off as "a couple of physicians." Amid much hooting and laughter, the prof pointed out the often ludicrous claims of provenance for local place names. To wit: Parañaque, which is still recorded in certain history books and tourism brochures as being sourced to a Castilaloy’s injunction to a rig driver to cease and desist when they hit the place."Para anya aqui."

Well, it used to be that only para-military forces could descend gracefully on parachutes, un-til foreign media as ephemeral carpetbaggers gained the tag of "parachute journalists." But oh for the golden chute of corporate kingdoms.

"Been there, done that" has turned cliché, the way "read my lips" has had its day. Computer-related lingo has also had it with "what you see is what you get" and "garbage in, garbage out." A buzz phrase or slogan has a markedly brief shelf life, although some get revived when a cycle is seen to call for it. Which is why some youthful peaceniks dusted off "Make love not war!" for their placards. Thank the god of retro it wasn’t "Peace love flowers happiness." Now that would have been like trading Hollywood’s "show me the money" for the classic but definitely out and outré "Make my day."

"Get outta here" – a jovial way of asking someone to shut up or button that lip, has been replaced by the deadpan, seemingly more stern "Talk to the hand."And contrary to what some of you might think, Austin Powers only appropriated its widespreading use. In a literal manner at that.

Academics can’t seem to get over their infatuation with the word "canon" to refer to a hierarchy of literary mainstreamers. And now we see the popular use of "narratives" well beyond the word’s original coverage. With "narrative" in, can "back story" be far behind? Then too there’s the aforementioned "genealogy" of this-and-that; hope it doesn’t grows as big as… oh, no, "deconstruction," or that PoMo curse, formally known as "post-modern." We now live in post-Derridean times, don’t we? But don’t say that to a recent anthology’s Intro writer, who caused a gasp in this here reader’s part by reverting to the term "telos" – which I last heard being used by UPSCANs in the early ’60s. That was well before most of them took up Law to undertake exercises in "forum-shopping."

Some went on to indulge in the "power lunch." The distaff side either became "power ladies" on their own, or chose trophy spouses and turned into "ladies who lunch." Of course there are the exemplars that are more than just femme fatales, in that they’ve become power ladies who often "do" power lunch.

My favorite, of relatively recent vintage, has been "human petri dish" – perhaps used once or all too often in "Sex in the City"-type "bitch dialogue." "In denial" spawned the local "denial queen," which was spun off euphemistically to "Queen of the river in Egypt." "24/7" has long dislodged "ten-four," while "no-brainer" may have led eventually to "thinking out of the box." The latter we’ve had in our own way for some time na, di bala? Even if only in reverse repudiation, of procedures and ideas that are sadly "de kahon."

"On the cutting edge" is also getting quite passé. BTW, it’s "cutting-edge technology" or whatever. As I always tell my fiction and poetry students whenever we have to go back to fundamentals in grammar, syntax, idiom and usage, when two words are used as a modifier, they should be made to tie the knot with a hyphen. Exceptions being the rule in crazy English, however, a high school student remains just that, the way a Boy Scout attitude can’t be anything but.

Now we may all turn subject any time to a "senior moment," but no way ever should we fall victim to "technical malversation" in the form of a "pyramid scam." Yegads, remember the Queen of the Nile.

If the NCAA in the USA has its March Madness, in our Metro or Megalo what causes humongous traffic is Midnight Madness. Surely what we need is less of "warm bodies," and more of a true "road map" to "a strong republic."