Family jewels: My lockdown love
I prayed to St. Joseph for a good husband. Then I met this cute and charming guy named Benny Soliven. After dating every day for two weeks in the romantic city of San Francisco, he asked me to marry him. I said “Yes!” That was 35 years ago. Thank you, St. Joseph, for answering my prayer.
As the song goes, “I left my heart in San Francisco.” We had a one-year engagement wherein I got to go back one more time. Then he flew to Manila to visit my parents and officially ask for my hand in marriage.
My Dad hid from him for a week till he could no longer hold back with my Mom’s sweet intervention. It was never easy for him to part from his daughters.
After the wedding we lived in the Bay Area where he worked at Wells Fargo. Upon return to Manila, he joined Citibank. We were raring to move into our brand-new house when my parents made an unusual request to live close to them for a while, in a two-bedroom flat right next to their home. It wasn’t an easy decision for my husband to make but I knew he said yes to make them happy.
They were overjoyed. Dad and my husband enjoyed talking about finance, banking, golfing and going to the grocery together. Mom and I enjoyed hanging out together working in our jewelry store, collaborating on beautiful creations. We also enjoyed cooking for each other and having meals together in our flat. We enjoyed travelling, too.
On our last trip together, we met a very good doctor in San Francisco. We stayed behind and I finally got pregnant. It was the happiest day of our lives.
Our son Vincent was born in Makati Med on Feb 14, 1996. We thought all was well, until both my parents were diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer. They both passed away 20 days apart.
I was devastated by our loss, but very grateful to my husband for generously providing me all the opportunity to spend such joyful times with my parents.
Settling into our comfortable residence located near my beloved alma mater, Assumption, was a gift of a lifetime. Slowly but surely the pain of loss began to heal. Benny was like St. Joseph, the head of our home. A loving husband and supportive father, so proud of me and our son Vince. He was a very gracious host who opened our home to my friends, whom he loves, for prayer meetings and family celebrations.
When I was diagnosed with an advanced stage of breast cancer, he continued to host healing Masses at home and chemo parties for me at Makati Med. He was so hands-on in my cancer care, taking full control of my doctors’ appointments, treatments, medicines and made all the major decisions. So all I had to do was focus on getting well. He shielded me from all stress and worry, all the while keeping a calm and loving demeanor.
After my remarkable cancer recovery in 2013, he was so grateful he organized a pilgrimage and took me to Lourdes in France to thank our Blessed Mother and bathe in the healing waters. He chose to stay in the Assumption house where we had a pretty room facing the grotto. And we could walk through a tunnel that would lead us straight into the pilgrimage site.
After nursing me to perfect health, we were happy to go on living exciting and busy lives.
When the pandemic came, he watched me like a hawk and reminded me of my health risks. I willingly obeyed to stay put working from home.
The lockdown was the most we ever spent together as a married couple, uninterrupted by the daily routine of pre-pandemic life. And the more I got to know him, the more there was to love.
I admired how he took care of us so thoroughly, keeping us all safe and sane during the lockdown.
He lavished me and Vince with attention. Calmed us down whenever we were frantic and had solutions for all our concerns. As my thoughtful companion on early morning walks, he sprayed sunblock on my arms and legs, meticulously put on my double mask and never ceased to stop by the empty chapel so we could say a prayer of gratitude. His amusement was watching me chase the ducks in the empty park while saying good morning to all the koi and turtles.
Back home he would make sure I drank enough water, ate a good breakfast, drank my green juice, guide me through an exercise routine and give me my vitamins.
He would research and keep abreast of the latest info on COVID medications. He helped me decide which invitations to accept.
He arranged our vaccinations, including our staff. Relentlessly, he found a way for his parents to safely receive their vaccines.
He did all the groceries so we always had good food and fresh produce as he made sure we ate healthy and did the same for his parents, Daddy Willie, 91, and Mommy Ofie Soliven, 84. He was faithful in visiting them twice a week while constantly monitoring their caregivers, taking care of their needs and that of their household, too.
All throughout the pandemic, I watched in awe as my husband worked hard manning his business from home. Endless meetings and critical thinking ensued in his search for solutions in this abnormal world of lockdown. Despite his many responsibilities, he was always willing to share his talents and make time for others. From attending to the Finex board as well as Junior Finex, giving financial or medical advice to those in need, to singing “Our Father” in Mass, to emceeing Assumption nun Sister Edith’s 100th birthday celebration, to leading the prayers of the AC Faith and Spirituality Committee and an active board member of the St. Marie Eugenie Institute winning my heart and those of the Assumption community.
In March 2022, the lockdown was lifted just in time. Upon the invitation of our dear Baguio-based friends Michael and Angie del Rosario, we were able to celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary with them. Oh, it had been two years and we were elated to be there. They gifted us with a stay in a cozy three-bedroom unit in their V Hotel and Apartelle on Bukaneg Road.
The invigoratingly cool Baguio weather, waking up to bright blue skies and the appetizing aroma of cranberry cream cheese bread baking in the V hotel oven was a dream come true. Hand in hand we took morning walks through the blooming gardens of Burnham Park and enjoyed the best Baguio longganisa breakfast at our favorite Quoted Café. The romantic afternoons would bring a gentle rain enveloping the city in a dreamy mist as I gazed at my amazing husband in sheer wonder, feeling so loved.
Every day, he says thank you, with great appreciation for all the little things I do for him and our son. He makes me laugh at his playful antics non-stop and every single day in an unexpected way, God continues to surprise me and love me through this extraordinary man I married. Being with my husband Benny 24/7 is truly the best, most wonderful lockdown surprise gift of all.
(Love to hear from you at miladayjewels@yahoo.com.)
