Shades of Gray

Catriona Elisa Gray, Miss Universe-Philippines 2018

You’re an only child. Can you please tell me about your childhood?

Growing up in Australia, I was very, very close to my parents kasi I didn’t have any relatives nearby. My relatives would either be in the States or in the Philippines, also in Germany. So, I was just really close to my parents and actually I moved around a lot when I was very young. I think it played a big part in making me the shy teenager that I was. We would move places. I was born in Cairns, Queensland. We moved to Sydney. We moved to New South Wales. We moved around Australia.

How did moving around Australia impact your childhood?

Having established friendships and having to break them when we moved from one place to another — that made me a shy child. I wouldn’t approach people first. I wait for them to approach me. I was a very quiet, shy child. I just became quite talkative in high school, in Grade 10 onwards.

At what age did you come first to the Philippines?

I was three years old.

What do you remember from that experience?

I remember Christmas here we would have lechon, all the party food, ang daming pagkain. The fire crackers in the street. All of my family was there. There was a very big contrast to my family life in Australia, where it’s very quiet. Here, it’s big and loud and rowdy. I have so many cousins here also. I had all of these children to play with all of a sudden rather than being alone.

What is very Filipino about you?

On my Filipino side, it’s really the value of family. No matter what your family does or where your family is, you always need to look after each other. There’s that two-way support. I think that’s very Filipino. The love for food is always there when there’s a celebration. You can’t have a celebration without food.

What’s very Australian about you?

On the Australian side naman, I think it’s my easy-going nature. I don’t stress a lot. I don’t worry a lot. I have an attitude of it will be fine, it will work out. There’s nothing to stress about. Let’s just see what happens. I feel like I’m very laid-back and low-maintenance. I’m not very materialistic. I like the simple things in life. I like being around nature. I love being with my loved ones. I think that’s very Australian.

The best lesson you learned from your Australian father.

My dad is 20 years older than my mom. Growing up, I felt like he knew everything. I felt like for every question I had, he had an answer. “The longest journey starts with a single step.” He used to tell me that.

The best lesson you learned from your Filipino mother.

I loved school as a kid. I was a bit of a nerd. I took two Science and two Math subjects (per grade level). I loved numbers from a very young age. I feel like my mom led me there because instead of giving me Game Boy and PlayStations and a TV, she gave me educational software on our family computer for Math and stuff. By the time I went to school, I already knew the fundamentals and as a child, when you have that confidence, you can only get better. I felt very confident on all subjects. I already knew how to read before I went to school.

What did you take up in college?

I finished a diploma course in Music Theory at the Berklee College of Music in Boston. It’s all about harmonization. That’s more of the theory of notation and everything rather than practical. I don’t play any instrument.

So, you can also arrange music?

Yes, basically. I can sing in my head and rearrange the tune of a song, note per note. I told you, I’m a nerd. (Laughs.) My course is about really working on a sheet of music. You work out the chords, which note complements the other and how they will make the feeling of tension, the feeling of resolution.

But can you also sing?

I sing. It’s actually one of my dreams to have my own album.

What’s your music genre?

Dark pop. Does that make sense? (Laughs.)

Who are your favorite artists?

I like Emeli Sandé, Dua Lipa, Sam Smith.

What is your defining characteristic that sets you apart?

I was very ambitious as a child and I still am. My mom saw that. She also saw that I was a perfectionist because I am. I really invest myself into everything I do, which also means that I need to decide everything I do. For example, everyone asks me, “Did someone push you to join beauty pageants?” But no one convinced me and no one pushed me (to join the pageants) because no one can push me. That’s the kind of person that I am. When I was younger, my mom would tell me “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well. If you have your first shot, give it all on your first shot. You don’t want to keep going back and back and back because you didn’t give everything that first time.”

You landed in the Top 5 of Miss World 2016. What did your experience in Miss World teach you?

That everything happens for a reason. I really believe that.

And what are your thoughts that you’re Miss Universe-Philippines 2018?

That there’s also a reason to it. Sometimes we don’t see that initially. We don’t understand why we’ve been directed but I feel like God always knows my path. I may not see it but He knows it. I can only trust in Him. I’m very grateful that my path has led me here.

How do you prepare for the Miss Universe competition?

The very overlooked and the very intricate part of preparation for pageants is the mental preparation. Here in the Philippines, we’re very lucky because we are given that platform of responsibility and social consciousness compared to other countries. Smaller countries may not have that same attention placed on them and the same pressure placed on them as we do here. I think it’s a fantastic training ground for being a Miss Universe contestant because that’s the kind of attention and pressure that you would get on the Miss Universe stage. So luckily, as Filipino beauty queens, we have that amazing opportunity to experience what’s that like and to grow in it. I learn every day especially with social media.

What’s your principle in life?

I don’t have one, I have a lot. One is know that you can never do it alone. I’m not trying to press my beliefs on anyone. I couldn’t have done it without Jesus or God. God has helped me through so many times in my life where I felt like I wasn’t strong enough but because I had Him, I made it through the challenges.