When Harry met Ray

Really, life is giant puzzle. And every day, we find some of its pieces to see the complete picture. Today, I just met one big piece of my giant puzzle for the first time, one of the reasons why I exist: my father, and his name is Ray Hartman.”

That was the beginning of a very long Facebook post of Victor Harry Cruz recently. Harry, 22, is the articulate deputy GM and marketing communications manager of Advocate Fashion Inc., the mother company of Francis Libiran Company that is owned by fashion designer Francis Libiran and Arsi Baltazar.

One quick glance at Harry and you will be drawn to his boyish mien. His creamy, alabaster skin complements his endearing, eloquent voice. But the tapestry of his spirit reveals a storied past. He was a wounded soul.

Last Thursday, Harry, my friend, called me on the phone. He was in Vancouver, Canada. “I feel complete now, Tito Büm. Our prayers have been answered. I met my father finally and I am overjoyed,” he said, his voice cracking.

Harry had been looking for his dad since he was nine.

He passed the phone to his dad. “Meet my dad, Ray Hartman.”

“I am extremely happy. It’s a wonderful feeling I finally met Harry. This is the happiest I have ever been,” Ray told me, his tone filled with enormous joy. “This is simply the happiest day of my life,” he repeated several times.

Ray was about to drive to Seattle from Vancouver with his wife Peggy on the day I talked to him on the phone. Harry was a few hours shy from taking his flight back to Manila. Harry and Ray spent a few days together. They both did not want to leave each other. But they also both knew that their meeting for the first time was just the beginning of better days to come for father and son.

‘One of our first pictures together, after hours of catching up. Ray, my father, is 69. He lives in Seattle,’ says Harry.

* * *

“I am a product of an unexpected pregnancy. My mother already had her own family when she met my father in Hong Kong. He was a musician. They parted ways in 1994, and I was already inside my mother’s womb then. My father did not know my mother was pregnant,” Harry said.

But Harry refused to call it an “unwanted” pregnancy because he’d like to believe that nothing and no one in this world is unwanted. He said his mother delivered him on her eighth month of pregnancy. It was a miracle he survived. “Everything and everyone of us exists because we all have a purpose. Thankfully, I grew up with a positive outlook in life.

“I was labeled as a ‘mistake’ and a ‘disappointment.’ Countless times I was told that I will never make it in life; that I will never reach anything, that I am worthless and useless, that I will never find my biological father, that I will be just a ‘nobody,’ that I don’t and won’t have a family and I will never be happy. Hearing those words from the people that I’ve expected to support me and help me grow really hurts, but then again, c’est la vie.

“I think that at an early age I already knew that life is really one big puzzle and it is for me to find each piece to complete the whole picture, all with God’s help, guidance and grace,” he wrote.

Before he turned 17, Harry was already out of his mother’s house in Navotas. He lived in a friend’s house. From grade school to college, he was an academic scholar.

Harry said he was a product of other people’s kindness. He got financial support from Rev. Fr. Jeronimo Ma. J. Cruz, the school principal of San Jose Academy. Friendly by nature, he met the owners of the Navotas Printing Press, Teresita Cruz and her sisters, while he was an altar server in the parish, and they also helped him in his education. In college, his professor Elizabeth Santos also gave Harry support. Even Cherina Dayaldas, the manager of a computer shop in Navotas, also gave him free extra 15 minutes every time he frequented her place just so he could find his father in the Net.

* * *

In 2011, armed with good looks, he wanted to enter showbiz and auditioned at GMA Artists Center. He did not get a call back but he found a friend, Arsi Baltazar. He focused on his studies. In 2013, Harry and Arsi, no longer with the GMA talent center anymore, met again. Harry told him his story, asked for a job, and landed as an apprentice at Francis Libiran’s atelier. Proving that nobody couldn’t put a good man down, Harry rose to his position now.

“In June 2013, Dada Arsi decided to adopt me and made me live with them (Arsi’s friends like Francis Libiran and his adopted sons). Living with them proved that family isn’t always blood. They’re the people in your life who want you in theirs — the ones who accept you for who you are, the ones who would do anything to see you smile, and who love you no matter what. No one in our home is biologically connected, but we all care for each other like how a family should,” he wrote.

Prior to meeting Arsi, Harry went on with his journey, carrying a boulder in his chest. The more he thought of his sob story, the heavier his load became.

“I realized that ‘proving my family wrong’ is such a heavy thing to do because the core of that is hatred, and I don’t want to live a life hating people. I have to let go of things that weigh me down. So, I decided to forgive, picked up the lessons and moved on. And it felt so much lighter and life became brighter for me. From thereon, I’ve decided to fulfill my dreams and do things that my future self will be proud of — things that will make my heart and soul happy,” he wrote.

“Harry is such a blessed man. I’m so proud of him. He will always be a blessing to me and our family. He is a godsend,” Arsi said.

Harry let go of the boulder. And in his heart, he kept the photos of his father and articles about him from a Hong Kong newspaper.

Harry with his family in Manila that includes his Dada Arsi Baltazar (foreground), Nat Manilag, Miggy Leyva, Francis Libiran, Christian Mark Jacobs, Dr. Gerry Buenaventura and Gabriel Leyva. Not in photo are Tommy Castellani and Miguel Leyva.

* * *

Harry, who took up a course in Advertising and Public Relations at the Polytechnic University of the Philippines, is a techie.

“I’ve been looking for my father since I was nine. I would go to a computer shop, type his name on Yahoo! Search. After several misses and rejections from people who knew his father, on Sept. 1, 2013, a big part of the puzzle seemed to fit in. Harry found his father’s private Facebook account.

He sent him a long message, ending it with “I think you’re my dad.” He also sent his dad’s photos, newspaper clippings and letters that Harry salvaged from the trash in their house in Navotas.

On Sept. 5, 2013, he got a reply. “Hello! It’s me! Thank you for finding me. We have a lot to talk about and catch up on…Do you go by Victor or Harry? Love, Ray.”

Last July 24, in Vancouver where Harry was on a vacation, father and son decided to meet. For the first time.

Harry told me on the phone, “During my conversation with my dad, I lost it when he told me, ‘I am glad you’re alive. And I am proud of the person you have become’.”

And before they parted ways in Vancouver, Ray hugged his son so tight. “Son,” he said, “thank you so much for not giving up. I am proud that you are my son.”

Ray left for his three-hour drive to Seattle. But Harry knew in his heart his father would return.

(For your new beginnings, e-mail me at bumbaki@yahoo.com. I’m also on Instagram @bumtenorio and Twitter @bum_tenorio. Have a blessed Sunday!)