The silver lining

My life has been enriched by this column. Ever since I started writing for Allure in 2003, my column has allowed me to dwell in deep moments of reflection. It has given me the opportunity to meet people whose thoughts and achievements inspire me. Many have moved me in a special way. Writing allows me to dig into my own heart and soul — where many a happy lesson or memory from my childhood is joyfully stored. I am privileged to share these with you.

On this occasion, I have compiled 25 bits and pieces of wisdom that I have picked up along my life’s journey. Some are thoughts I live by. Some are practices I embrace. Some are little things to enjoy. Others are precious reminders I myself have received and would like to pass on to you. I believe their benefits to be endless.

This column has allowed me to share and pass on all the good and beautiful things I have learned.

1. Start your day with a grateful heart.

2. The very first thing to do when you wake up in the morning is not to check your cell phone messages but to check on God’s message to you first — through His daily gospel.

3. Be good to people on your way up because they are the very same people you will meet on your way down.

4. The most powerful people are those who know how to forgive.

5. Whenever you are troubled, get down on your knees at the foot of the cross and unload all your pains to Jesus.

6. Never tire of saying “Thank you.”

7. Once, my son Vincent heard Mass in school. He shared with me the homily of the day: ‘You must make memories with your friends.”

8. Exercise is the natural way to keep your body youthful. (A lesson from my husband Benny.)

9. Develop your talents. Use them wisely. God gave them to you for a good purpose. Share them with others.

10. Allow your children to discover and pursue their passions. Also, let us teach our children to be grateful. This is a legacy we can leave them. Let them know that everything comes from God. We also let them know that only God can give us absolute happiness.

11. Trust your instincts.

12. Write down your list of people to pray for so you don’t forget to pray for them during your prayer time. (A lesson from my youngest sister Yvonne.)

13. Be generous and thoughtful to your household staff. You will be together for a long, long time.

14. Always begin any meeting or gathering with a prayer. (A lesson from my Ate Jaqui.)

15. Make time to visit a sick friend. Console the bereaved. Be around for your friends and loved ones when they are sad.

16. When someone does something nice for you, express your appreciation through a handwritten note. Never give a gift without a thoughtfully written card. It is a loving message from the giver that gives meaning to the gift. (This I learned from Dad.)

17. “How can an apple give birth to an orange? An apple cannot give birth to an orange. It could be a rotten apple though,” my father told me when I was a kid. Looking back now, it was Dad’s way of saying, “Keep your family together and make sure you all bear and harvest good fruits.” It was also his way of reminding us to live a fruitful life pleasing to our Creator. Early on, we were taught to live a life that revolved around honesty, integrity and reliability.

18. Get your check up. Don’t forget to take your vitamins. Live a well-balanced life. (Again, from my mom.) My sister Christine adds, “Life is meant to be enjoyed, not endured. Discover the world. Once in a while treat yourself to a spa.”

19. Treat your loved ones to some “homemade chunky monkey” for dessert. Prepare scoops of vanilla ice cream. Slice up bananas. Ready spoons of peanut butter. Assemble everything in bowls and drizzle with chocolate syrup or Nutella. Enjoy! (A lesson from my only brother Mark.)

20. There are many, many good things that money cannot buy. Those who can enjoy these so called free gifts are truly wealthy. Perfect health. A good night’s sleep. Peace of mind. A hearty appetite. True love in its pure form. Creative talent. Long-lasting friendships. Perfect harmony at work or in relationships. The absence of problems and worries. A stress- or trouble-free life. A godly attitude. Kind-hearted family and friends. A caring co-worker. Lots of free time to enjoy. Reaching heaven.

21. Time is one of our most valuable resources. It must be used wisely. Must be used for good. Bad things are a terrible waste of time. Who do you live for?

22. Grace beautifies.

23. Having a big home on earth to enjoy is an achievement but having one in heaven is even better because it will be enjoyed eternally. Send up your building materials to heaven on a daily basis through good works, good deeds and good words. When you get there, you will see that God built an even lovelier home, or better still, a whole family compound for you. 

24. Haste makes waste. To avoid the stress of unnecessary expense and heartache, be organized. Plan ahead. Do not schedule your activities or meetings too close to each other. Leave comfortable time in between to be effective so you don’t rush around nervously. Learn to space and pace. 

25. It takes courage not to participate in gossip. Politely change the topic or just exit quietly.

(Would love to hear from you at miladayjewels@yahoo.com)