Back to school in my forties (a.k.a. My UPOU adventure!)
Last year I took a deep breath and plunged into an area millenniums away from my comfort zone. At the age of 42, I decided to go back to school. Life had been a blur after college. There was modeling and marriage, children and PTA meetings, advocacy work, photography and my job as a columnist. Mid-life crisis was not a question of whether I had fulfilled much in life. Rather, it was a question of whether I had what it took to achieve more. And so with the blessings of my family and armed with the powers that only ADHD could give to a human being, I took on yet another partner to my already filled-up dance card. I went back to school.
Having been involved with journalism and advocacy activities all my life, I chose to enroll in a Masters Degree Program in Development Communications at the University of the Philippines Open University. The UPOU system allows a student the opportunity to dictate her own study time as the materials are given beforehand and the forums are conducted online. I would like to correct any misconception that a UPOU program is an easy way to get a degree so I am going to scream it out loud — IT IS NOT! One must be totally disciplined, focused and have a sense of structure in order to tackle the numerous lessons and assignments that are given (the ultimate ADHD challenge!). The first semester was nerve-wracking! I actually threw a small shindig/study group just to pick my classmates’ brains! Every time DSL was down or the Moodle system in UPOU would conk out, I would find myself wanting to shake my computer monitor in frustration.
And then there were the (gulp!) senior moments when I couldn’t remember a blessed thing! Still thinking I was in college, I tried to memorize every term in the books. I created pneumonics and catch phrases to remember numerous bullet points. I would text my teachers for clarification (and affirmation) more often than I should have. This prompted my professor Mel Bandelaria to finally text back: “You do not have to memorize anything. Just do the best you can and enjoy the experience.”
Enjoy the experience. The culmination of my O.C./perfectionist personality (NOT a good trait people!) and my fear that a league of younger minds (possessing more reliable memory recall!) could trounce me out of the starting gate had dampened the entire education process for me. I was NOT enjoying the process.
Recently I was sworn in as a governor for The Philippine National Red Cross (yes, yet another dance partner!) and have had the opportunity to attend board meetings and interface with the dedicated PNRC team. In every minute during these PNRC encounters, my mind bursts with ideas on how to address the various concerns and services that this wonderful organization exercises. The ideas, however random they may present themselves, have miraculously managed to form into an organized mental structure. Because of this miracle, I do not grapple for terms, and have a general idea how to embrace and execute the responsibilities that have been given to me (on my first day, Chairman Dick Gordon placed me as co-chair of three committees — his “endearing” way of welcoming me to the group). I find that I am able to feel confident about my abilities not only because of my years in advocacy work but also because of the hours I have spent reading, articulating and expounding on the DevCom lessons. So this is the experience Professor Bandelaria speaks of!
In a few weeks, I shall be taking my final exams. Typical me, I shall still be trying to memorize terms, knowing full well that a post-graduate degree demands analysis more than memorization. I shall summon psychic powers to try to guess what the test questions will be. Then I shall take a deep breath and draw from my experiences (that is the one advantage I have over the younger students!) and I shall answer the questions as honestly and completely as I can. I shall have the Red Cross people in my mind: the ones who serve and the ones who we serve. And despite all my inner anxiety and drama — damnnit! — I shall enjoy the experience!
