Confessions

(Editor’s Note: Mr. Büm Tenorio, Jr. recently won the Catholic Mass Media Award for Best Opinion Column.)

 Last night, I became a narcissist again. But instead of a brook to help me illuminate my countenance, I reflected using my old trusty computer. I opened a few files and stumbled upon a Q&A I submitted to a college student who interviewed me a few moons back. He has read many of my column articles so he basically knew how to write a profile article about me.

“Gratitude is something life has taught me through the years,” I answered his question on lessons I learned in life. “Life taught me to be thankful for all the things that come my way. I am thankful for all the blessings. I am even thankful for the hitches that are thrown at me. There are nuggets of wisdom for every problem that we encounter.”

After he submitted it to his professor, the student who interviewed me sent me a copy of his paper. Since he was only required to submit a three-pager, he “apologized for not being able to use many of your answers.”

“I did not mean to waste your time,” he wrote me.

“No. No one’s time is wasted here,” I e-mailed back.

Here, I am sharing with you some of the confessions I told him based on his questions.

Who is your inspiration in life?

My inspiration is my family. I always believe that when you are always in love with your family, all other blessings will follow. As I always say, we should take conscious effort to celebrate our family while the moment still matters, while the time still counts.

What has poverty taught you?

Poverty taught me to dream. I just feel blessed that I lived a materially unblessed childhood. This material destitution taught me to be rich in more ways than one. Poverty taught me to live, love and strive for my future and for the future of my loved ones.

When I was growing up, a well-to-do relative in the barrio told me that I would not amount to something. That also became a challenge. I proved her wrong.

I wrote once: Dreams do come true. Even nightmares. But nightmares die where dreams live.

What are the lessons you learned from your parents?

My mother taught me to dream. In days when we were very hard up, the only thing that made us full, filled and fulfilled was our dream. And the dreaming paid off.

My father told me when I was growing up never to steal. It’s better to be poor than to be a thief. He taught me that poverty should not be an excuse for one to steal. So, in effect, he taught me to strive harder in life.

From my brothers, I learned the culture of sharing. “Bawal ang madamot.” That’s the prevailing culture in our home. We share whatever we have with each other. My eldest brother Ronnie gave up his chance to pursue college for his younger siblings. He worked in a brewery factory in Cabuyao, Laguna and his salary was our tuition fee and allowance in high school. I wrote about this in my column two years ago. 

When you were growing up, did you have issues about poverty?

I never had issues why we were poor. I saw how my parents strived as farmers. I was very comfortable with my status. I was taught early on that pretensions would only lead me to misery. In fact, all my friends in high school and college knew I was poor. I did not pretend that I lived in a castle. But I knew — with how I was navigating my own life — I would at least enter a castle. I have been to many castles. The most beautiful I found inside me.

People will not think low of you because you are poor. They will think low of you because you think low of yourself.

Even the richest of men feel, at some point in their lives, that they are paupers.

Even the most glamorous of the lot, at one point or two in their lives, feel ugly and miserable.

Therefore, it is not the physical beauty — not even one’s GNP — that spells one’s happiness.

Please tell me about your passions.

I have a consistently and faithfully growing passion for my nieces and nephews. It is our common passion to watch the sunset together. Or take a bath under the rain. I collect their letters to me. My brothers and I always tell them stories of what it was like when we were growing up — those days when we were wanting in so many things. We teach them the importance of saying “Thank you.” We allow them to make mistakes. But we also make them solve their own mistakes and correct them.

What kind of a friend are you? What are your thoughts on friendship?

I’m fiercely loyal.

Only those who have forgotten to awaken the child in them become old. And only those who have forgotten to awaken the child in them with a friend become obsolete.

Do you have any advocacy?

My advocacy for the youth is still in its infant stage. So, I’d rather call it my belief or dedication to the youth. I support the youth in our little barrio in whatever capacity I can. I may not be able to give them financial help but in my own little way I impart with them personal experiences that somehow will help them. I long for the day when I will have a foundation for them. In my barrio, just like in many places around the country, there are so many youth who are talented, full of wisdom and intellect. But they cannot go to college because they don’t have the means. I’ll sit down one day and put up that foundation for the youth.

What pains you, aside from matters concerning your family?

I cannot reconcile the fact that a father or a mother who is a teacher cannot afford to send his or her children to school. I cannot understand that. Again, economic factor figures in. I long for the day that all educators will be able to afford higher education for their children.

You are very positive with your approach in life as evidenced by your column. Do you also worry about anything?

What worries me is the health of my family members. But then again, I lift everything all up to my Best Friend Up There. I learned that worrying is a form of disobedience to Him. I try not to worry anymore. After all, life is truly beautiful.

 (Thank you for all your letters. For your new beginnings, please e-mail me at bumbaki@yahoo.com or my.new.beginnings@gmail.com. You may also send me snail mails at The Philippine Star, c/o Allure Section, R. Oca Jr. cor. Railroad Streets, Port Area, Manila. Have a blessed Sunday.)