No iron-y deficiency
September 18, 2005 | 12:00am
If there’s something the Philippines will never lack for, it’s irony. We may lag behind globally, or even just here in the region, when it comes to GNP, economic progress/self-sufficiency, and political maturity; but along with corruption, and failing home-grown elementary and high school literacy and science levelling tests, I’ll always wager on the Philippines when it comes to levels of Irony. Let’s face it, where else in the world but here! Heck, if there was an Iron-y Chef competition, the Filipino contestant would win hands down.
We brag about the new Filipino, foster pride in our cultural heritage and sing hymns of praise about the dusky, sloe-eyed morena beauty; and yet, what is the single, fastest-moving cosmetic and beauty product here in the Philippines – able to launch corporate sales and revenues to the billion-peso mark? Yup, skin-whitening products! Creams, gels, soaps, lotions, mousses, foams – who knows in what form it will come in next? As long as it whitens (and never utter the word bleach), the Filipino consumer just can’t get enough of these products. Pretty soon, we’ll probably have hair-whitening formulations. "Honey, it’s the ultimate in the Filipina’s quest to be white from head to toe."
Talk about the pathetic side of Filipino vanity; and you’ll discover that even 50 years after having shaken off the yoke of colonialism, the mentality just endures. Fil-Am comedian Rex Navarette would elicit a lot of knowing laughs when he’d mimic an old-timer matriarch admonishing her daughter with, "Inday, come to the shade, stop it na, you are so dark. You’ll never get married and do you know why? Because no man will marry what he cannot see!" And while there would be a veneer of laughing at old attitudes and outdated notions of shame for our skin pigmentation, what does the persistent skin-whitening rage reveal?
Ever go to Market Market, ever noticed the very peculiar migratory patterns of the assembled throng? All the "village people" descend from the air-conditioned comfort of their Town and Country’s, their Porsches, Audis, Beemers and chedengs, only to stay at the fresh produce and outdoor section of Market squared. It’s really funny how from air-conditioned home to air-conditioned office, they gripe and complain about the heat, even if it’s only for the seconds it takes them to leave home or building and enter the car – but put them at the weekend Salcedo Park community market or there at Market Market, and it’s like they’re even allergic to enter the mall! Meanwhile, for the Taguig residents, it’s get into the mall as quick as possible, and stay within the confines of the mall to make "lamig". Funny world!
Doesn’t it make you wonder how whenever some global disaster strikes and hogs CNN, so many make comment, emanating waves of empathy, pity or support; and yet don’t seem very bothered by what unfortunate events occur that are closer to home – like Quezon or Samar? Last year, it was the tsunami that hit Phuket in December and how wasn’t it such a tragedy. Recently, it’s been hurricane Katrina and how New Orleans is in such a sorry state and don’t you wish you could do something for all those Louisiana folks (uhhh, honey, some of them are called rednecks!). Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not demeaning any tragedy that has befallen, and neither do I scoff at the loss of lives that has occurred. Just strikes me as funny that when one can do something right here, right now, about local typhoon victims, landslide survivors or the homeless; one chooses to focus attention on what has happened halfway across the world and claim frustration over not being able to do something more meaningful to help the "victims" – like we don’t have enough "victims" right here at home.
One of my favorites is this friend I have who joins me at the practice sessions of the ABS Badminton Club. Our sessions last from 8 p.m. to midnight and on the hour, every hour, he’ll snuck out for a cigarette! Give me a break, what is going on? Chest too loose and we need to tighten it a bit? Hate that feeling that you AREN’T short of breath or suffering from emphysema? And yet, he is not alone, as there are a bunch of other players who join him outside the courts and just have to have their mid-workout nicotine fix. Mondo Bizarro, right? Perhaps we should just have a special court made for these guys; and instead of big exhaust fans, we can just have cigarette smoke sucked into the courts, so they can play and cough up the court fees – emphasis on cough up!
There are a million others we often discuss on a daily basis; from the mundane and trivial, to the weighty and seriously disturbing. How Filipinos can’t follow rules here at home but send them abroad and they’re squeaky clean to a fault, paragons of law-abiding citizenry. I am sure you can help me draw up a ironclad list – yes, pun intended – and we’d laugh and weep at the same time.
And lastly, but not least-ly, in this political environment of strong-arm tactics and macho posturing, with womanizers proudly beating their chests and logging "wives" like they’re putting together a trophy chest, what do we have – a current political imbroglio with three women taking center-stage. I love it, all events and headlines swirl around the troika of Gloria, Cory and Susan – with nary a male personage carrying any substantial weight. Irony with Colossal stamped all over it!
We brag about the new Filipino, foster pride in our cultural heritage and sing hymns of praise about the dusky, sloe-eyed morena beauty; and yet, what is the single, fastest-moving cosmetic and beauty product here in the Philippines – able to launch corporate sales and revenues to the billion-peso mark? Yup, skin-whitening products! Creams, gels, soaps, lotions, mousses, foams – who knows in what form it will come in next? As long as it whitens (and never utter the word bleach), the Filipino consumer just can’t get enough of these products. Pretty soon, we’ll probably have hair-whitening formulations. "Honey, it’s the ultimate in the Filipina’s quest to be white from head to toe."
Talk about the pathetic side of Filipino vanity; and you’ll discover that even 50 years after having shaken off the yoke of colonialism, the mentality just endures. Fil-Am comedian Rex Navarette would elicit a lot of knowing laughs when he’d mimic an old-timer matriarch admonishing her daughter with, "Inday, come to the shade, stop it na, you are so dark. You’ll never get married and do you know why? Because no man will marry what he cannot see!" And while there would be a veneer of laughing at old attitudes and outdated notions of shame for our skin pigmentation, what does the persistent skin-whitening rage reveal?
Ever go to Market Market, ever noticed the very peculiar migratory patterns of the assembled throng? All the "village people" descend from the air-conditioned comfort of their Town and Country’s, their Porsches, Audis, Beemers and chedengs, only to stay at the fresh produce and outdoor section of Market squared. It’s really funny how from air-conditioned home to air-conditioned office, they gripe and complain about the heat, even if it’s only for the seconds it takes them to leave home or building and enter the car – but put them at the weekend Salcedo Park community market or there at Market Market, and it’s like they’re even allergic to enter the mall! Meanwhile, for the Taguig residents, it’s get into the mall as quick as possible, and stay within the confines of the mall to make "lamig". Funny world!
Doesn’t it make you wonder how whenever some global disaster strikes and hogs CNN, so many make comment, emanating waves of empathy, pity or support; and yet don’t seem very bothered by what unfortunate events occur that are closer to home – like Quezon or Samar? Last year, it was the tsunami that hit Phuket in December and how wasn’t it such a tragedy. Recently, it’s been hurricane Katrina and how New Orleans is in such a sorry state and don’t you wish you could do something for all those Louisiana folks (uhhh, honey, some of them are called rednecks!). Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not demeaning any tragedy that has befallen, and neither do I scoff at the loss of lives that has occurred. Just strikes me as funny that when one can do something right here, right now, about local typhoon victims, landslide survivors or the homeless; one chooses to focus attention on what has happened halfway across the world and claim frustration over not being able to do something more meaningful to help the "victims" – like we don’t have enough "victims" right here at home.
One of my favorites is this friend I have who joins me at the practice sessions of the ABS Badminton Club. Our sessions last from 8 p.m. to midnight and on the hour, every hour, he’ll snuck out for a cigarette! Give me a break, what is going on? Chest too loose and we need to tighten it a bit? Hate that feeling that you AREN’T short of breath or suffering from emphysema? And yet, he is not alone, as there are a bunch of other players who join him outside the courts and just have to have their mid-workout nicotine fix. Mondo Bizarro, right? Perhaps we should just have a special court made for these guys; and instead of big exhaust fans, we can just have cigarette smoke sucked into the courts, so they can play and cough up the court fees – emphasis on cough up!
There are a million others we often discuss on a daily basis; from the mundane and trivial, to the weighty and seriously disturbing. How Filipinos can’t follow rules here at home but send them abroad and they’re squeaky clean to a fault, paragons of law-abiding citizenry. I am sure you can help me draw up a ironclad list – yes, pun intended – and we’d laugh and weep at the same time.
And lastly, but not least-ly, in this political environment of strong-arm tactics and macho posturing, with womanizers proudly beating their chests and logging "wives" like they’re putting together a trophy chest, what do we have – a current political imbroglio with three women taking center-stage. I love it, all events and headlines swirl around the troika of Gloria, Cory and Susan – with nary a male personage carrying any substantial weight. Irony with Colossal stamped all over it!
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