Keep the sparks flying

Dear Michelle,

I enjoyed your lovely column about Alen and Carmen Mojica. I was wondering if you could ask them for more ideas on how to bring sparks to a marriage, especially for those whose lives have become simpler after 34 years of being together

There are so many short-lived marriages these days, so it would be nice to read more about what couples can do to keep a marriage happy and exciting. Being married for more than three decades doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to make the stars in our heaven sparkle a bit brighter

Thanks much,

Lolita Delgado Fansler

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Dear Lolita,

I found your interest so endearing. As you requested, I came up with this practical list of insights and ideas from family, friends and other married couples. Hope these tips help in keeping your love fires burning!

Sincerely,

Michelle

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The upside of a marriage is that, on a daily basis, one is met with countless opportunities to make each day a special one. It just takes a lot of thoughtfulness and the desire to please the other. Oftentimes what really matters most are the little things because they don’t cost much but they really hit the spot. It only takes a spark to get that fire burning, so to speak. So pay attention for there are many little ways for you to light up the other! So, here are some tips to keep the sparks alive
• Surprise your partner with breakfast in bed
• Read her an article in the newspaper that you think she will like
• Tidy up your bedroom for tonight and light up a sweet smelling candle right before he comes in
• Give him his vitamins every single day
• Make sure she drinks eight glasses of water a day handing her each one with a kiss
• Pay extra attention to one another
• If you notice she is tired, give her a back rub
• If you think he is feeling low, open up your arms and give him a big bear hug
• If he is working overtime, drop by his office with take-out food and join him for a quick energizing snack
• Put toothpaste on his toothbrush
• Always say thank you
• Always say please
• Give each other a daily dose of kindness
• If she has a favorite pair of shoes that has seen better days but to which she is still very attached to, take them to Mr. Quickie and surprise her with them looking brand new
• Keep track of her favorite things – be it a food item, brand, song, scent, movie or time of day
• Do the grocery and pick out all of her favorite daily items
• Write little love notes to each other. Post them on the bathroom mirror, on windshield or rearview car mirror, inside his briefcase or in her bag
• Clip or save newspaper or magazine articles that he missed reading in the morning but would surely love to read leisurely when he comes home at night
• Put a water jug in his car and send him a text message to remind him to drink his water
• Collect and burn her favorite songs on a CD just for her
• Watch a sunset together
• Keep up a good sense of humor.
• Go for a walk and talk
• Compliment each other
• Be spontaneous. Take a detour somewhere
• Give her a little pampering by brushing her hair
• Have dinner by candlelight instead of electric lights. (It creates a special ambiance and pulls down your electric bill.)
• Take pictures of all her shoes and paste them on her shoe box so she won’t have a hard time finding the right pair every time
• Take him for coffee for a one-on-one. Ask him how he is
• When you are upset, do not say anything until you have cooled off
• Be gentle
• Always try to look your best
• Be nice and inviting to come home to
• Be positive, fun and enthusiastic
• Know when to keep silent and when to speak up
• Be your wife’s best friend and vise versa
• Never waste an opportunity to tell him you love him
• Whenever you go on a trip, always remember to bring back a little something just to let her know that you always think of her
• Never give a gift without a card. Text messages are immediately erased but handwritten notes last forever and can be read over and over long after you are gone
• Learn to be tactful, courteous and less critical
• In order to receive love, you must give love
• Make him a sandwich and slip in a little love note; it has to be something you made yourself even if it’s just a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
• Take her hand or elbow when going down the stairs or escalator
• Do something for her that she normally does for you
• After he opens your door, unlock his side of the car
• Tape his/her favorite daytime TV programs that he/she missed so he/she can watch them at night or on the weekend
• Charge his/her cellphone when he/she forgets to do so at night
• Flirt with each other. Go dancing!
• Don’t wait for occasions, rather create them on ordinary days
• Send the maids off and cook for each other. Have fun in the kitchen. Put on some lively music. Together, make and enjoy a freshly baked batch of yummy chocolate chip cookies toasting each other with glasses of fresh milk
• Try something you’ve never done together before
• Keep your love letters tucked away safely in a box and read them to each other on your next anniversary
• Tell him how terrific he is. Or, better yet write down all the things you love about him
• Write down all the things that made you fall in love with her.
• Accompany each other to doctors’ appointments, making a date out of it
• Be there when he needs you without him having to ask. Make him feel that he is your priority. Even if you are busy, you must never act too busy for him
• Count your blessings together
• Be enthusiastic about each other’s success
• Always give kind words of encouragement
• Be sensitive to his/her needs
• Take her hand when she isn’t looking
• Leave a P20 bill in her car so she doesn’t have to scramble for change at the parking lot
• Walk or dance in the rain with the one you love
• You should maintain close friendships with one or two couples you like doing things with and whose company you both enjoy
• Write him romantic poems
• Never let the sun down with anger in your heart
• Go out of your way to entertain his friends and their spouses at home. This will make him proud of your skills as a good hostess
• Put on red lipstick, kiss his handkerchief with it, then spray it with your cologne before putting it in his pocket
• Pay attention to your table settings. Even on ordinary days make him feel like a king. Use your best china and set your table attractively
• Be joyful in disposition!
• Make a scrapbook of pictures with captions putting together your most endearing and happiest moments
• Surprise him with new dishes... still one of the best ways into a man’s heart is through his stomach. (I dare say this goes for us women, too.)
• Support and inspire each other. Never, never pull each other down
• Always greet each other with a big smile!

(Love to keep hearing from you at miladayjewels@yahoo.com)