Joy to the world

If there is one thing I sincerely wish I could have done much, much more in the four decades I’ve been alive, it is that I could have laughed more. If only I had been more mirthful, more smiling, more moved with gaiety and laughter – perhaps I would have relished my life even more – and made more people happier, too.

Why should we not be joyful? Joy is one of our spiritual genetic legacies. God stamped in us the instinct, the innate yearning to be joyful and to be eternally joyful. Sadly, whether or not we are conscious of it, we veer away from this predisposition to be joyful – blame all those "deadlines" and "pressures" and "indifferences" to blessings we inadvertently cultivate through the years. In the midst of being "busy," we forget that joyfulness is our legacy. We were born to be joyful. We were meant to be joyful. We just refuse the chance again and again.

We all have our distinct personalities, and the perennially upbeat personality of the nun Kathy Najimi played in the Sister Acts movies is nowhere like mine. Like many introverts I prefer to keep quiet, to take life seriously – perhaps a way bit too seriously for my own good! Brooding had become so habitual for me, I’ve never questioned its constant presence in my life. As they would put it in the vernacular, masyado kong dibdibin ang mga nangyayari sa akin.

But life took a sharp turn for me and I’ve spent the past four months recovering from breast cancer that had recurred. Suddenly, I have found myself alone in the figurative sense; it is as if God has put everything "on hold" for me now. In the first three months, I was more or less okay, but perhaps after the wear and tear of chemotherapy my nerves have begun to fray, so to speak. Entering the fourth month, I can say I am like a tired marathoner who could appreciate some much-needed time out.

I know our Lord God will not begrudge me the chance to admit I am having a difficult time. I can understand Christ now when He requested at Gethsemene if He could be spared His suffering. Suffering has a life of its own and it transports people to a plane and place where they will not return the same travelers as they were when they had started out. That is the truth – suffering does not come quite easy. That’s why actor Jim Caviezel was correct when he noted, "Either we carry our cross or are crushed by the weight of it."

I have never doubted that God is and will be with me, but there have been days lately when the pain has been so unbearable, doubts just as great would creep in my mind and heart so easily. It is in such times when I find myself in a nebulous world of not knowing what I should feel any more. Ironically, such nebulous times of trial have made me realize this: One of our best defenses for such trials is to take on a joyous disposition, to smile, and to accept God’s trials with a happy heart. I rather believe that this is God’s challenge to anyone undergoing any form of trial: "Let me see how joyful you can still be despite My trials!"

After having said all that I’ve said about the challenges that suffering brings, I’ve wondered: How can one smile when one doesn’t even have the strength to smile? How can one be joyful while one experiences body malaise and weakness daily? How can one have a happy heart when one’s intestines seem like they will burst from hyperacidity? What cheers can we offer God when we don’t even have the appetite to eat?

Those are my obstacles and so I find myself running through what seems like one great obstacle course. Being clear about what I must hurdle, this is now what I must do: I will try to differentiate between my body and my spirit; my physical self and my soul; my earthly vessel so to speak, and the essence of me.

I will try to keep "pictures" of me in my head – separate ones of my body and spirit – and regardless of what my body feels, through that "picture" of my soul I will try to affirm my loyalty and belief in God. This is not easy to do during excruciating pain but it’s the best way I can think of to remind myself that regardless of the pain that may come, there is no reason for my soul not to be joyful.

Yes, there is simply no reason for any soul not to be joyful. Today alone, we mark Jesus Christ’s defeat of death in His Resurrection. And He reminds us that eternal life is for our taking if we only so choose it. Are not the resurrection and eternal joy every soul’s aspiration, every soul’s goal?

Why should we not be joyful? God created us from the sheer joy of wanting to have us as His sons and daughters, not mere creations. We have a Father in Him!

Why not be joyful when Jesus Christ generously offers no less than His body and blood to us daily in the Holy Eucharist.

Still no reason to be joyful? But Jesus Himself assured us all, "I will be with you until the end of time."

Instead of sulking, let us rejoice.

Instead of criticizing, let us affirm what is good.

Instead of being depressed, let us lift ourselves and so lift other people’s spirits, too.

Instead of being daunted by failures, let us celebrate.

Perhaps this Easter, we might beseech our Lord the grace of leading a life infused and motivated by joy.

Happy Easter to all!

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E-mail the author at annmondo@yahoo.com