We are each other's teacher

For almost seven years, I was part of a group of people who came together every other week to study about life, spirituality and the universe. We talked about the purpose of our lives and read books by wise people, or radical enlightenment-seeking ones. It was an intensely close support group, bound by a shared journey on the spiritual path.

Although we would fall into food binge and "gossip" mode, it was always to try to see the higher lesson being reflected in the seeming trivialities of life. We were writers, educators, professionals, a priest, a psychiatrist and lovers of food and life – from varying age levels and spiritual persuasions: Catholics, agnostics, New Agers, psychoanalytic thinkers, futurists, astrologists, etc. We gamely called ourselves by the name of Michaelics, to give honor to the great Angel ruling our present epoch St. Michael. Mostly, our work and sharing were to help us strike out our own personal shadows and blobs, working towards some kind of wholeness. What was clear in that group was that there was no one leader.

Everyone was student and everyone was teacher. For every advice, pearl of wisdom, wise-crack or side comment that was thrown on the table during those discussions, it was clear that someone always left the meeting more insightful and with a newer direction or perception on how to tackle his/her specific issue. Sometimes the advice was given unconsciously (an offhand remark) but touched the exact nerve chord of the other. The advice was even more remarkably catalystic when it was given deliberately and consciously with love so that other would become aware.

In the course of our lives, we will seek to be with other people – not only to fulfill our human need for community and companionship but that there, within the complex interchanges of our relationships, we grow. So inevitably, we will always find ourselves as members of some kind of group – be it a social one, a religious Bible study group, an advocacy group, a partnership or friendship. The groups we belong to are not accidental. Our souls resonate to specific people and groupings at times in our lives precisely since there is something we all seek to learn from being with them. Through the relationships of our lives, we are invited to come face to face with ourselves in a communal manner. And because community is about sharing, it is inevitable that the best parts of people will be shared (the worst too but that’s another story that pertains to karmic lessons) in a group.

If we look back and chart the movement of our lives, we will be able to identify people who stand out as our teachers that brought either clarify or a deeper resonance to the direction our life was going. And we will never forget them. Their presence/advice stuck in our minds and guided our paths allowing us to work gracefully towards our future.

This is why it is important that we are aware and conscious of whatever it is we are sharing with a group. For always, there will be some other persons there that will benefit from our presence, thoughts, wisdom or wit.

Harder to accept as teachers are the people who have hurt and caused the most pain in our lives. But they actually were our best teachers. Through the relationships forged that brought a deeper understanding of life because of the sheer pain, discipline or difficulty encountered with that person, we began to transform ourselves.

We are both student and teacher, always shifting roles in the nuances and variety of our relationships. We are student when we aspire to elevate our thoughts in the way we perceive life and loving, discipline ourselves better in body, mind and spirit, and seek to bring out the best of ourselves to help better this world. Always we are teacher when, having managed to define a little wisdom about our own issues and personal experiences in the level where we are, we find it in our hearts to reach out to another in compassion to elevate their understanding. Thus, lifting them gently to see the view from another level. We are student when we humbly realize that there are other people wiser, more disciplined and more compassionate than we are, and we aspire to be like them. And we are once more teacher when we realize that there are many around us confused and in pain, and that perhaps, just perhaps, reaching out to them would help bring them clarity.

I believe we must take both roles in our lives. For every moment is an opportunity to both learn and share. Never take the moment for granted. I remember when, many years ago, I was talking "making kwento" to a group of young 14-year-old boys. Many, years after, two of them had come back to see me independent of each other, during different times. They had both graduated from college, were responsible and ready to start their adult lives. What struck me was that they both said they remembered something I had said to them that one time in the past. One said he had carried a statement I said as a guiding principle through his teenage life. The other said how he never forgot that specific thing I said and which had helped him become what he is now. I was floored after meeting those boys since I could not even remember the things I had said then. But such an example goes to show that every moment brings an opportunity for us to be "teacher." And never think there is a student out there watching or listening, needing something for his growth.

Sometimes, no advice need be given. A real teacher carries in his/her being and presence the best that the student can aspire to be or hope for. The real teacher seeks to free another and not hold another in bondage. The real teacher is a force for transformation and change no matter how difficult it may be. And the real teacher would never judge. All great teachers through time have become such since they themselves worked on their humanity, raising themselves beyond their petty human foibles and egos to find the pearls of their divinity. Great teachers always underwent the truly human process of self-transformation. All the core of their beings was the understanding that always, they are forever students, seeking to unify the best in themselves.

(E-mail me at jej1@easycall.com.ph)