Heal thyself

I checked my e-mail the other day and I was overwhelmed. I had about 57 messages from my readers. Thank you to all of you! A lot of you were inspired by my interview with Lotlot, while others liked the one about dealing with the past. Still many requested more of the Easy Steps To Healing, so I’ve decided to share more tips from that book.

• Read about the lives of others

Reading takes you outside of yourself. It broadens your world and provides you with new experiences and situations. Biographies are a good start because they give examples of mentors and role models. Mentors provide the sound advice you need to find your direction on your particular life path. Role models show you how to do something better or differently.

One always learns when one reads, whether fiction or biography.

When I do, I am transported to a different world. I see different places, feel different textures, smell and feel differently. You are taken outside of yourself.

Reading about the lives of others, things they went through, battles they faced, how they did it will inspire and teach us, show us a different way, a different road to take that can make a difference in our lives.

• Change the way you look

The way you look is a reflection of your inner self. When you change the outer self you feel a change in your ego. By doing this, you create a small crack in your emotional armor, which then enables you to begin the process of change at a deeper level. So wear a color, style or item of clothing that you don’t normally wear.

Many times when I felt low, I would cut or color my hair. Sometimes, even with a violet color! I was so low emotionally that doing something out of the ordinary lifted my spirits. It’s like I derived a sense of freedom from the act.

I would buy a new outfit or choose colors I wouldn’t normally wear. Doing something out of the usual will make you feel free. Do not be afraid to experiment or to feel like you are not you. You would be surprised at how wonderful it would make you feel.

• Study the birds

A bird soars without trying. To fly is part of its genetic inheritance. Lifting off from land’s edge, a bird spreads its wings and trusts. In a symbolic way you, too, can give yourself wings. Think of a bird’s effortless flight and fly beyond the fears that limit and ground you. Free yourself.

I’ve watched birds fly and have felt like them, too. Try and watch them as they spread their wings and fly as if there were no worries in the world. I have watched them and then closed my eyes, felt the wind brush against my cheeks, lifted my arms in the air and felt as if I was flying with them. I released all my fears, my hurts, my anger and lifted my arms, as I closed my eyes. With the wind I let go of everything that burdened my heart. We too have wings. Let us spread them and fly.

• Compromise

It’s easy to put yourself in an all-or-nothing situation and in so doing find that you are stuck and unable to move. That’s the nature of all-or-nothing responses! By taking all, you find yourself alone; by taking nothing, you find yourself deprived. Look for a way that considers your needs and those of the other person. If compromise is not possible, be gracious and go your way.

There will always be some way to meet in the middle. One just has to have the right attitude. We shouldn’t be selfish and only think of ourselves. When we allow ourselves to think of the other person, automatically you will look for ways that will enable you and the other to be content.

And in situations which just aren’t acceptable (these happen, too,) then just go your own way and let each other be.

• Pause

It’s like taking a deep breath or counting to 10 when you’re about to blow up. It gives you time to change your viewpoint, to consider alternatives, to defuse your emotional reaction. A pause won’t be an answer but it might avoid a disaster.

It’s always better to take a break, step back and just be. More often that not when we are angry or agitated, we don’t make the right move.

Taking a break may not make the problem go away, but it will clear your head and give you the space you need to get a hold of yourself. Give you room to make the right move, not one you’ll end up regretting.

•There’s no comparison

It’s unproductive to compare your situation with someone else’s or to compare yourself with another person. If you do this you make yourself envious or a victim. In either case, you suffer unnecessarily. No situation is ever the same as your own, even if it appears to be so. And no person is like you. You are uniquely beautiful. Love yourself for what you are.

Yes, let us love ourselves for what we are. We are not perfect. No one is. We are beautiful even with our imperfections. We were uniquely created by God and we need to accept that. When we do, then we will not compare ourselves or our situation with that of somebody else’s. We will work with whatever we have, learning from our mistakes and being the best that we can be.

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In my past article I gave the e-mail address of Ed Banaga of Landmark Forum. I made mistake with one letter so I’m giving it again edbanaga@goodrich.com.ph. Thank you Ed for the correction.

E-mail me at: babyjakster@yahoo.com.