Easy steps to healing
August 18, 2002 | 12:00am
Click here to read Part I
I was thrilled that many readers liked my article last Sunday on healing and asked if I could have a Part 2. Of course I will oblige and so I am giving them and you more of my Easy Steps to Healing.
• Commune with nature
All life has energy. Discover the uplifting and healing power of nature. Discover its special energy. Feel the sacredness of the earth and respect it as you would a loved one. Go into the bush and listen to the sounds of nature. Hear the rustle of wind in the trees, the creaking and sighing of branches; watch the ants and the insects.
On days when I felt low, all I had to do was take a walk in the park or just be surrounded by trees. I would sit on the grass, close my eyes, listen to the wind, feel it brush against my cheeks, against my skin. I knew everything I felt was God’s creation and I felt like God was the wind embracing me, comforting me.
I was in awe because of the beauty of his creation and immediately, my spirit was uplifted.
• Stop! Do absolutely nothing
Replace doing with being. This will help you align your thoughts and calm your emotions. It will arrest your mood’s downward spiral and give you the breathing space to say to yourself, "Now, hang on. What’s going on here?" Doing nothing can be productive.
Keeping oneself occupied, of course, helps you not to dwell on negative feelings. But sometimes it is also good to be more in touch with our emotions, even when they are painful. We need to get in touch with ourselves. Then and only then will we realize what we need to do to help ourselves.
• Have a massage
It’s therapeutic. A massage loosens and tones the body. It improves blood circulation and the elimination of waste. Best of all, it relieves stress. Choose a lavender or chamomile based oil for a relaxation massage. Try rosemary or basil essences for a deep tissue massage.
• Laugh
Laughter is a tonic and a balm. It alters our perspective. Watch a funny movie. Could you turn your present conflict into a humorous situation? When you’re miserable, it’s difficult to see the funny side. But what if you could? Play around with the situation in your mind until you see the comedy.
This is a quality my mom Pilita has. She is able to laugh away her troubles. She somehow manages to find humor in the most difficult situations. She always says a problem is already a problem. Stop making it one. I believe that is why she looks so young.
• Communicate your boundaries
Boundaries represent your limits. Only you know your own limits. You have gone beyond them when you feel pain and distress. Know yourself–know what you can’t accept. Make your limits clear to others so that you don’t feel invaded or fearful or abused. Communicate your boundaries clearly and respectfully.
There are things we can and can’t take. That is something we have to accept. We have to be honest with ourselves and others as well. We have to make that known especially to others.
• Blowing bubbles…
… is fun. Dip a thin straw into warm soapy water. As you blow each bubble, give it a name. The name represents what you wish to release. Watch the bubble pop and mentally repeat. I release (name). I am now free to move on. Breathe out and blow your next bubble.
Our mind is powerful. When we think that we can, then we can. But sometimes to have some physical action accompanying it is a big help. Imagine looking at each bubble and seeing whatever it is you want to let go of, and watch it disappear before your eyes.
You will know that you have the power over what is overwhelming you. It’s fun, too!
• Replace pain with no pain
If you find yourself wanting to hurt someone in the same way they have hurt you, think again. Replicating pain duplicates it. What you really seek is no pain. Stay true to your aim. As you give love more, you’ll also receive more. Give love unconditionally without waiting for its immediate return. When someone hurts us, we want to hurt back. But if we do, then we are just like them. Harboring ill feelings just makes our load heavier.
Pray that God helps remove our hurt so that we can eventually forgive that person. Then we can move on.
That pain will be replaced with no pain, with peace.
• Respect
Without respect for yourself you ride roughshod over your feelings and neglect your basic needs. You are dishonest with yourself. Without respect for others you become insensitive to their differences, to their right to believe and act differently from you.
Respect yourself and others will respect you, too. When others see that respect, they know how you value yourself and therefore know you will value them, too, value the person they are.
• Plan a holiday
Planning a holiday gives you permission to enjoy yourself, to take time off to stop putting pressure and making demands on yourself. A holiday is a reprieve. It gives you something to look forward to. The very act of planning it makes you feel light and carefree. You’re looking after yourself nourishing all areas of your soul.
To be somewhere else aside from where you usually are is always a welcome change. A change of scenery always livens the heart. Knowing you’ll be going to a different place, looking forward to what it has in store for you will already make you feel lighter and not knowing what to expect of that place makes it even more exciting.
• Have a facial
We talk about facing issues and people, about saving face, facing up to things, making a face, putting on a face, showing one’s face and coming face to face with a fear or a reality. Through your face you explore the world with your senses. You reveal yourself. Your face represents your self-image. And so, let your face be pampered.
A facial? It truly is so relaxing. It is such a treat! Feeling low? Go and get a facial and come out feeling great! We do have to pamper ourselves. We deserve it!
• Kindness...
... is an underestimated word. It means giving someone the benefit of the doubt. It involves trust and faith. Kindness brings out softness and gentleness, it knocks the hard and brittle edges off people. It eliminates struggle. Giving someone your smile, giving someone a hug, doing something nice, always makes the giver happy. Giving something of yourself always releases good energy.
Seeing how happy you’ve made that person you gave your smile to, gave your hug, did something nice to, will make you feel even happier. There will always be things we don’t understand, situations we can’t control. We will always be vulnerable to many things that will hurt us, but then we are alive, and that is why we experience what we do.
Let us not be afraid to get hurt, to get bruised. All these always make us stronger individuals. There will be tears, but crying is good for one’s soul. Yes, we will have to heal from our hurts, but remember that we will heal.
We will if we choose to. If you begin to see one ray of light where before you saw darkness, you have taken your first step to healing. Small plans, small steps, small changes. Start with them, and take it from there!
(E-mail me at babyjackster@yahoo.com)
• Commune with nature
All life has energy. Discover the uplifting and healing power of nature. Discover its special energy. Feel the sacredness of the earth and respect it as you would a loved one. Go into the bush and listen to the sounds of nature. Hear the rustle of wind in the trees, the creaking and sighing of branches; watch the ants and the insects.
On days when I felt low, all I had to do was take a walk in the park or just be surrounded by trees. I would sit on the grass, close my eyes, listen to the wind, feel it brush against my cheeks, against my skin. I knew everything I felt was God’s creation and I felt like God was the wind embracing me, comforting me.
I was in awe because of the beauty of his creation and immediately, my spirit was uplifted.
• Stop! Do absolutely nothing
Replace doing with being. This will help you align your thoughts and calm your emotions. It will arrest your mood’s downward spiral and give you the breathing space to say to yourself, "Now, hang on. What’s going on here?" Doing nothing can be productive.
Keeping oneself occupied, of course, helps you not to dwell on negative feelings. But sometimes it is also good to be more in touch with our emotions, even when they are painful. We need to get in touch with ourselves. Then and only then will we realize what we need to do to help ourselves.
• Have a massage
It’s therapeutic. A massage loosens and tones the body. It improves blood circulation and the elimination of waste. Best of all, it relieves stress. Choose a lavender or chamomile based oil for a relaxation massage. Try rosemary or basil essences for a deep tissue massage.
• Laugh
Laughter is a tonic and a balm. It alters our perspective. Watch a funny movie. Could you turn your present conflict into a humorous situation? When you’re miserable, it’s difficult to see the funny side. But what if you could? Play around with the situation in your mind until you see the comedy.
This is a quality my mom Pilita has. She is able to laugh away her troubles. She somehow manages to find humor in the most difficult situations. She always says a problem is already a problem. Stop making it one. I believe that is why she looks so young.
• Communicate your boundaries
Boundaries represent your limits. Only you know your own limits. You have gone beyond them when you feel pain and distress. Know yourself–know what you can’t accept. Make your limits clear to others so that you don’t feel invaded or fearful or abused. Communicate your boundaries clearly and respectfully.
There are things we can and can’t take. That is something we have to accept. We have to be honest with ourselves and others as well. We have to make that known especially to others.
• Blowing bubbles…
… is fun. Dip a thin straw into warm soapy water. As you blow each bubble, give it a name. The name represents what you wish to release. Watch the bubble pop and mentally repeat. I release (name). I am now free to move on. Breathe out and blow your next bubble.
Our mind is powerful. When we think that we can, then we can. But sometimes to have some physical action accompanying it is a big help. Imagine looking at each bubble and seeing whatever it is you want to let go of, and watch it disappear before your eyes.
You will know that you have the power over what is overwhelming you. It’s fun, too!
• Replace pain with no pain
If you find yourself wanting to hurt someone in the same way they have hurt you, think again. Replicating pain duplicates it. What you really seek is no pain. Stay true to your aim. As you give love more, you’ll also receive more. Give love unconditionally without waiting for its immediate return. When someone hurts us, we want to hurt back. But if we do, then we are just like them. Harboring ill feelings just makes our load heavier.
Pray that God helps remove our hurt so that we can eventually forgive that person. Then we can move on.
That pain will be replaced with no pain, with peace.
• Respect
Without respect for yourself you ride roughshod over your feelings and neglect your basic needs. You are dishonest with yourself. Without respect for others you become insensitive to their differences, to their right to believe and act differently from you.
Respect yourself and others will respect you, too. When others see that respect, they know how you value yourself and therefore know you will value them, too, value the person they are.
• Plan a holiday
Planning a holiday gives you permission to enjoy yourself, to take time off to stop putting pressure and making demands on yourself. A holiday is a reprieve. It gives you something to look forward to. The very act of planning it makes you feel light and carefree. You’re looking after yourself nourishing all areas of your soul.
To be somewhere else aside from where you usually are is always a welcome change. A change of scenery always livens the heart. Knowing you’ll be going to a different place, looking forward to what it has in store for you will already make you feel lighter and not knowing what to expect of that place makes it even more exciting.
• Have a facial
We talk about facing issues and people, about saving face, facing up to things, making a face, putting on a face, showing one’s face and coming face to face with a fear or a reality. Through your face you explore the world with your senses. You reveal yourself. Your face represents your self-image. And so, let your face be pampered.
A facial? It truly is so relaxing. It is such a treat! Feeling low? Go and get a facial and come out feeling great! We do have to pamper ourselves. We deserve it!
• Kindness...
... is an underestimated word. It means giving someone the benefit of the doubt. It involves trust and faith. Kindness brings out softness and gentleness, it knocks the hard and brittle edges off people. It eliminates struggle. Giving someone your smile, giving someone a hug, doing something nice, always makes the giver happy. Giving something of yourself always releases good energy.
Seeing how happy you’ve made that person you gave your smile to, gave your hug, did something nice to, will make you feel even happier. There will always be things we don’t understand, situations we can’t control. We will always be vulnerable to many things that will hurt us, but then we are alive, and that is why we experience what we do.
Let us not be afraid to get hurt, to get bruised. All these always make us stronger individuals. There will be tears, but crying is good for one’s soul. Yes, we will have to heal from our hurts, but remember that we will heal.
We will if we choose to. If you begin to see one ray of light where before you saw darkness, you have taken your first step to healing. Small plans, small steps, small changes. Start with them, and take it from there!
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