Love is color-blind
July 28, 2002 | 12:00am
Whoever said that East is East and West is West and that the two will never meet would have been more than surprised if he had met Asi and Anna Mae Taulava and Tom and Jenni Epperson. For if there’s anything to learn from these two lovely and loving couples and their inter-cultural marriages, it is that love is the language that binds cultures–all the way to happily ever after.
Talk N Text Phone Pals and RP Selecta Team basketeer Asi Taulava, one of the most well-liked figures in local basketball, was born in Tonga and then moved with his family to the US when he was six years old. Ace photographer Tom Epperson, a surfer and a harmonica player for the Blue Rats, was born in Ohio, grew up in California, then lived a good part of his life in Sydney before settling in the Philippines in 1985.
Both their wives were born and raised in the Philippines–the former Anna Mae Corveau grew up in Bulacan and Jenni Jacolbe in Laguna. Anna Mae graduated cum laude from the University of Sto. Tomas where she was also crowned Miss UST. STAR readers know her as the Face of the Year 1999 second runner-up. Jenni studied in St. Scholastica’s College and besides being a columnist of the STAR’s Allure section, she is one of the country’s most sought-after fashion stylists.
Jenni and Tom have been married since l996; Asi and Anna Mae since 2000. Both couples have a daughter–six-year-old Aryanna Epperson and 18-month-old Asianna Taulava. Into the thick of their relatively young marriages, the two couples are even more besotted with each other–and their life together–than when they first met. As Asi describes his familial bliss, "I have never been happier in my life."
See why love knows no bounds–nor cultural barriers–in this revealing peek at the two couples’ love lives.
Asi: I was a judge in the Bb. Pilipinas Pageant (in 1999) and Anna Mae was a contestant. I had a crush on her. I talked to her afterwards and we started off as friends.
At that time, she didn’t know I was a basketball star; she didn’t know who I was, she had no idea. And that was the best thing about it–she thought I was just some guy with wild hair or something. There was something mysterious about her. I wanted to learn more about her.
Anna Mae: Asi was so nice and thoughtful. He always made sure I was okay by calling and asking how I was. He’d pick me up in UST after my classes, and drive me all the way to (our home in) Malolos, Bulacan.
Jenni: I was handling one of the Linea Italia shops in Makati in l994 where Tom shopped. I occasionally greeted him. I thought this "foreigner" looked really fit and cool.
Then my staff told me Tom wanted to go out with me. I thought he was attracted to one of the girls in the shop–turns out he’d been gathering information from her about me–so it was a big surprise to me. I was not keen on going out with him because I’ve always had Pinoy boyfriends and had only gone out with Filipino men.
I thought I would feel uncomfortable going out with a foreigner because we might not have anything in common to discuss. I also thought they were more aggressive. So, I tried to decline the few times he’s asked me out but because he was persistent, I finally said yes.
Everything was set for a dinner date and that night he got sick so he cancelled. I was relieved! But being stubborn, Tom sent me a bouquet of flowers the next day with a note apologizing and asking for another date. To get it over and done with, we set another date. I chose to have dinner in a crowded place so there will no chance for us to be intimate.
Surprisingly, we found we had a lot of things in common. I knew from that moment on he was the man I wanted to marry.
Tom: She made it difficult for me to take her out on a date. I asked her staff what the best way was and they told me to send her flowers–which I did but she still turned me down. As I am not one to give up, I approached her staff again and asked why I was given the cold shoulder. They basically gave me the same advice and told me to buy more flowers. Now, I thought her staff were either getting a cut from the florist or I was being taken for a ride! Finally she gave in and we went out.
Asi: The whole dating game in the Philippines is such that you have to be respectful. Here you have to carry yourself in a respectful way. You have to adjust to (a lady’s) whole family. I had to ask permission everytime Anna Mae and I would go out.
Here, a guy is supposed to court a girl at home; it’s not like that in the US. If we want to go on a date, we just ask, ‘Wanna go out?’ I had to ask permission from Anna Mae’s mom and dad everytime we went out. But I didn’t take that against them; they were just being parents.
Anna Mae: My mom didn’t approve of me going out with Asi alone. We always had chaperones–my cousins, aunts, brothers. But there were chances when we did (laughs) like when we watched movies.
What I liked about Asi was that he adjusted and loved everyone I loved. He was nice not only to me but to everybody–he even joined a Santacruzan in Malolos! (He went out of his way because) Filipinos are matampuhin–once they request something from you and you don’t give them a chance, they feel bad.
When we’d go out, fans would approach Asi for autographs or pictures. I would just stand aside then move away. But I’ve gotten used to it.
Jenni: There was no "real" courtship compared to my previous suitors and boyfriends. The whole time we were hanging out, he did not make any moves on me (which I kind of feared, thinking foreigners were more aggressive). We became good buddies and finally married in 1996.
Tom: It wasn’t long after our first date that I asked Jenni’s staff if they would like to come back to my studio to have their photograph taken as a gift for Christmas. It was then that I knew I would end up with Jenni.
Asi: Even if I was born in Tonga, I am Americanized since I grew up in the US. So it wasn’t hard adjusting to life here in the Philippines or being married (to a Filipina).
I am Christian but I’m not really devout. I know there’s a God and if I go to church I know that would be fine with me. You have to be tolerant of other people’s religions. Anna Mae and I go to church whenever we get the chance to.
(Even if in the US, in-laws don’t live with their children), living with my in-laws is fine with me. Anna Mae’s mother is an easy person to get along with. Whatever makes Anna Mae comfortable is okay with me.
Anna Mae: He got so used to living by himself so Asi doesn’t put away his stuff too neatly, although he does put them in the right places.
My only ‘problem’ with Asi is what he eats–it’s always chicken because he’s trying to lose weight– and I’m running out of ways of cooking chicken!
Jenni: Like many Pinays, I grew up having maids and yayas to help me out, and do things for me all the time. Being with Tom who is independent and organized, I had to domesticate myself a bit. Though I am capable in the kitchen, I am not good in cleaning up the house or being organized. So I constantly have to remind myself to put things back where I got them or at least make sure I tell the maids to put it back for me.
Tom: Jenni grew up with maids and I didn’t so I had do things pretty much for myself where as she has always dependent on someone else to do things like cooking and cleaning. I actually enjoy doing most things for myself and find it hard to sit still.
In the beginning, I think religion was a little bit of an issue between us but we were able to talk about it. I’ve always believed you should respect another person’s religious beliefs but should never impose those beliefs onto her.
Food was another subject where Jenni and I have our differences. She is very Filipino in her eating habits–rice and viands where as I am not by any means your typically fastfood-eating American. In fact I was this strange kid who decide at the age of 14 to give up hamburgers, soft drinks and most other junk food. Maybe this had to do that I was very much into surfing. I love to cook and being in the kitchen. To this day we actually eat different foods.
Asi: Marriage for me is a full-time commitment. I want to raise my family like my parents did–to them any problem could be solved.
My life changed with marriage and fatherhood–before I used to think of myself first; now I think first of my wife and daughter.
It’s nice to come home to someone who cares for you.
Anna Mae: We take each other for what we are. We try not to change the other and to respect each other’s individuality.
Jenni: We share the same beliefs about God and that His miracle of bringing us together fuels our relationship.
Family comes first before anything. We also share a passion for improving our crafts and finding ways to be creative. When we travel, we both like going to different beaches and prefer places where the locals eat and hang out.
Tom: Because we both come from broken families, we realize that in marriage there are no guarantees. We know that there will be good times and bad and that the good will always outweigh the bad.
We are both extremely lucky, too, to be in our given professions as we love what we do and it just makes it that much easier.
We basically share the same values when it comes to raising our daughter. Foremost, we teach her about God’s good grace. We also try to take the most endearing values from each other’s culture and teach her. Like Filipinos are, we would like her to be more caring to her family. And as Americans are, we want her to become more independent and responsible – to be able to do things for herself, not to be dependent on someone else and that she has to work hard for what she wants to achieve or to have in life. We encourage her too to express herself as an individual and celebrate her uniqueness.
Asi: What I like most about Anna Mae is she is a good person. She’s very thoughtful and always wants what’s best for me. We have big arguments sometimes but she gives me medications, vitamins, no matter how bad I make her feel. It’s nice to go home to someone who cares about you.
Anna Mae gives me good advice like when I was wearing (much) jewelry–she told me not to buy too much.
Anna Mae: All the qualities I want in a guy, I’ve found in Asi. He’s proven himself so many times to me. Minahal niya lahat ng mahal ko.
Jenni: Tom’s been there for me when I was down and shared my excitement when times were good. He trusts in me completely and is not possessive–I’ve grown as an individual in a relationship. I can do things for myself as a career woman since he doesn’t make me feel guilty about it.
I like his playfulness; he makes me laugh and makes light of a bad situation. I love that he respects his body and tries to be fit and trying to look even better for me. I am more attracted to him now than we first met–that to me is important in a good marriage.
Tom: The first thing I noticed in Jenni was how she always smiled and how much her staff liked working for her. She is one of the most caring people I’ve met especially when it comes to family and her close friends. Thank God she is not the prima-donna type who I would have had no time for. She is outgoing and adventurous–it was it was her idea to take me bungee jumping at Subic Bay–a real test. She basically doesn’t mind getting dirt under her nails.
Asi: Anna Mae and I both have strong personalities–with her friends and my friends, we’re always like the leaders of the pack. We’re both used to getting everything our way but that doesn’t mean we can’t solve problems.
Trying to be respectful towards one another is a key.
Anna Mae: Patience, patience, patience–this is what’s needed for a strong marriage.
And don’t forget–God should be at the center of your marriage.
Tom: There are basic issues that are important to talk about in a marriage, more so in a cross-cultural marriages. Taking the time to talk with one another is the best way instead of having to wait and see.
Jenni: Do talk about areas that you feel problems might arise such as religion, values, financial responsibilities, what country you’ll live in, relatives/family and children. Accepting each other’s difference and learning to compromise are also keys to a happy marriage.
Talk N Text Phone Pals and RP Selecta Team basketeer Asi Taulava, one of the most well-liked figures in local basketball, was born in Tonga and then moved with his family to the US when he was six years old. Ace photographer Tom Epperson, a surfer and a harmonica player for the Blue Rats, was born in Ohio, grew up in California, then lived a good part of his life in Sydney before settling in the Philippines in 1985.
Both their wives were born and raised in the Philippines–the former Anna Mae Corveau grew up in Bulacan and Jenni Jacolbe in Laguna. Anna Mae graduated cum laude from the University of Sto. Tomas where she was also crowned Miss UST. STAR readers know her as the Face of the Year 1999 second runner-up. Jenni studied in St. Scholastica’s College and besides being a columnist of the STAR’s Allure section, she is one of the country’s most sought-after fashion stylists.
Jenni and Tom have been married since l996; Asi and Anna Mae since 2000. Both couples have a daughter–six-year-old Aryanna Epperson and 18-month-old Asianna Taulava. Into the thick of their relatively young marriages, the two couples are even more besotted with each other–and their life together–than when they first met. As Asi describes his familial bliss, "I have never been happier in my life."
See why love knows no bounds–nor cultural barriers–in this revealing peek at the two couples’ love lives.
At that time, she didn’t know I was a basketball star; she didn’t know who I was, she had no idea. And that was the best thing about it–she thought I was just some guy with wild hair or something. There was something mysterious about her. I wanted to learn more about her.
Anna Mae: Asi was so nice and thoughtful. He always made sure I was okay by calling and asking how I was. He’d pick me up in UST after my classes, and drive me all the way to (our home in) Malolos, Bulacan.
Jenni: I was handling one of the Linea Italia shops in Makati in l994 where Tom shopped. I occasionally greeted him. I thought this "foreigner" looked really fit and cool.
Then my staff told me Tom wanted to go out with me. I thought he was attracted to one of the girls in the shop–turns out he’d been gathering information from her about me–so it was a big surprise to me. I was not keen on going out with him because I’ve always had Pinoy boyfriends and had only gone out with Filipino men.
I thought I would feel uncomfortable going out with a foreigner because we might not have anything in common to discuss. I also thought they were more aggressive. So, I tried to decline the few times he’s asked me out but because he was persistent, I finally said yes.
Everything was set for a dinner date and that night he got sick so he cancelled. I was relieved! But being stubborn, Tom sent me a bouquet of flowers the next day with a note apologizing and asking for another date. To get it over and done with, we set another date. I chose to have dinner in a crowded place so there will no chance for us to be intimate.
Surprisingly, we found we had a lot of things in common. I knew from that moment on he was the man I wanted to marry.
Tom: She made it difficult for me to take her out on a date. I asked her staff what the best way was and they told me to send her flowers–which I did but she still turned me down. As I am not one to give up, I approached her staff again and asked why I was given the cold shoulder. They basically gave me the same advice and told me to buy more flowers. Now, I thought her staff were either getting a cut from the florist or I was being taken for a ride! Finally she gave in and we went out.
Here, a guy is supposed to court a girl at home; it’s not like that in the US. If we want to go on a date, we just ask, ‘Wanna go out?’ I had to ask permission from Anna Mae’s mom and dad everytime we went out. But I didn’t take that against them; they were just being parents.
Anna Mae: My mom didn’t approve of me going out with Asi alone. We always had chaperones–my cousins, aunts, brothers. But there were chances when we did (laughs) like when we watched movies.
What I liked about Asi was that he adjusted and loved everyone I loved. He was nice not only to me but to everybody–he even joined a Santacruzan in Malolos! (He went out of his way because) Filipinos are matampuhin–once they request something from you and you don’t give them a chance, they feel bad.
When we’d go out, fans would approach Asi for autographs or pictures. I would just stand aside then move away. But I’ve gotten used to it.
Jenni: There was no "real" courtship compared to my previous suitors and boyfriends. The whole time we were hanging out, he did not make any moves on me (which I kind of feared, thinking foreigners were more aggressive). We became good buddies and finally married in 1996.
Tom: It wasn’t long after our first date that I asked Jenni’s staff if they would like to come back to my studio to have their photograph taken as a gift for Christmas. It was then that I knew I would end up with Jenni.
I am Christian but I’m not really devout. I know there’s a God and if I go to church I know that would be fine with me. You have to be tolerant of other people’s religions. Anna Mae and I go to church whenever we get the chance to.
(Even if in the US, in-laws don’t live with their children), living with my in-laws is fine with me. Anna Mae’s mother is an easy person to get along with. Whatever makes Anna Mae comfortable is okay with me.
Anna Mae: He got so used to living by himself so Asi doesn’t put away his stuff too neatly, although he does put them in the right places.
My only ‘problem’ with Asi is what he eats–it’s always chicken because he’s trying to lose weight– and I’m running out of ways of cooking chicken!
Jenni: Like many Pinays, I grew up having maids and yayas to help me out, and do things for me all the time. Being with Tom who is independent and organized, I had to domesticate myself a bit. Though I am capable in the kitchen, I am not good in cleaning up the house or being organized. So I constantly have to remind myself to put things back where I got them or at least make sure I tell the maids to put it back for me.
Tom: Jenni grew up with maids and I didn’t so I had do things pretty much for myself where as she has always dependent on someone else to do things like cooking and cleaning. I actually enjoy doing most things for myself and find it hard to sit still.
In the beginning, I think religion was a little bit of an issue between us but we were able to talk about it. I’ve always believed you should respect another person’s religious beliefs but should never impose those beliefs onto her.
Food was another subject where Jenni and I have our differences. She is very Filipino in her eating habits–rice and viands where as I am not by any means your typically fastfood-eating American. In fact I was this strange kid who decide at the age of 14 to give up hamburgers, soft drinks and most other junk food. Maybe this had to do that I was very much into surfing. I love to cook and being in the kitchen. To this day we actually eat different foods.
My life changed with marriage and fatherhood–before I used to think of myself first; now I think first of my wife and daughter.
It’s nice to come home to someone who cares for you.
Anna Mae: We take each other for what we are. We try not to change the other and to respect each other’s individuality.
Jenni: We share the same beliefs about God and that His miracle of bringing us together fuels our relationship.
Family comes first before anything. We also share a passion for improving our crafts and finding ways to be creative. When we travel, we both like going to different beaches and prefer places where the locals eat and hang out.
Tom: Because we both come from broken families, we realize that in marriage there are no guarantees. We know that there will be good times and bad and that the good will always outweigh the bad.
We are both extremely lucky, too, to be in our given professions as we love what we do and it just makes it that much easier.
We basically share the same values when it comes to raising our daughter. Foremost, we teach her about God’s good grace. We also try to take the most endearing values from each other’s culture and teach her. Like Filipinos are, we would like her to be more caring to her family. And as Americans are, we want her to become more independent and responsible – to be able to do things for herself, not to be dependent on someone else and that she has to work hard for what she wants to achieve or to have in life. We encourage her too to express herself as an individual and celebrate her uniqueness.
Anna Mae gives me good advice like when I was wearing (much) jewelry–she told me not to buy too much.
Anna Mae: All the qualities I want in a guy, I’ve found in Asi. He’s proven himself so many times to me. Minahal niya lahat ng mahal ko.
Jenni: Tom’s been there for me when I was down and shared my excitement when times were good. He trusts in me completely and is not possessive–I’ve grown as an individual in a relationship. I can do things for myself as a career woman since he doesn’t make me feel guilty about it.
I like his playfulness; he makes me laugh and makes light of a bad situation. I love that he respects his body and tries to be fit and trying to look even better for me. I am more attracted to him now than we first met–that to me is important in a good marriage.
Tom: The first thing I noticed in Jenni was how she always smiled and how much her staff liked working for her. She is one of the most caring people I’ve met especially when it comes to family and her close friends. Thank God she is not the prima-donna type who I would have had no time for. She is outgoing and adventurous–it was it was her idea to take me bungee jumping at Subic Bay–a real test. She basically doesn’t mind getting dirt under her nails.
Trying to be respectful towards one another is a key.
Anna Mae: Patience, patience, patience–this is what’s needed for a strong marriage.
And don’t forget–God should be at the center of your marriage.
Tom: There are basic issues that are important to talk about in a marriage, more so in a cross-cultural marriages. Taking the time to talk with one another is the best way instead of having to wait and see.
Jenni: Do talk about areas that you feel problems might arise such as religion, values, financial responsibilities, what country you’ll live in, relatives/family and children. Accepting each other’s difference and learning to compromise are also keys to a happy marriage.
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