‘ I can give up my career for love’

If Korina Sanchez’s persona were a spectrum of colors, it’s her bold and vibrant shades that the public knows well. In her 15 years as a multi-awarded broadcaster, Korina has built a solid reputation for being tough, feisty, and fearless.

What’s largely unseen by the public is Korina’s softer, pastel shades, those hues that reveal her to be a ribbons-and-lace, roses-and-stuffed-toys-for-gifts kind of lady. This was the side Allure got to see up close and personal over lunch at the Peninsula Manila’s Mi Piace restaurant, where Korina let her hair down and revealed a side of herself which was–at least initially–quite unsettling to discover, given her image as the Ice Lady (some even go so far as to call her The Dragon Lady).

Past the initial surprise however–and the more Korina discloses tidbits about herself–one realizes quickly that it is not as though Korina has some "other side" or a "flip side" she has compartmentalized from her more public self. The longer she talks, the more one concludes that all of Korina’s varying colors are really just the result of the light of her personality passing through what is undoubtedly the prism of her life–an encompassing passion for anything and everything she does.

While she is a self-confessed workaholic (besides her 8 to 10 a.m. DZMM radio show, daily newscasting on TV Patrol , and weekly hosting of Isyu 101, Korina does consultancy work, events management, and media training), Korina says she cannot live without love and therefore she has to make time for it.

"Love provides the balance in my life," says this hard-hitting radio commentator. "The way we love is in character. I am usually never tentative. I decide quickly and give when I can."

Indeed, whether for family, partners, or friends, Korina goes all-out. "I’m generous to a fault," she admits. "I’m a softie at heart."

Korina left no stone unturned, for example, during her beloved mother’s recent battle with colon cancer. "She was operated on and they found a 15-cm. tumor in her colon," recalls Korina. "Then the doctor told me wala na daw silang magagawa, that they will just close her up again and just feed her intravenously."

Korina wouldn’t take the news without doing something, so she scoured the Net, researched and asked around for a reputable doctor, and finally found one in the US who operated her mother who is now undergoing further treatment.

Korina has so far spent P3 million, not a peso of which she regrets losing because of her unabashed love for her Mom. "I feel so blessed already as it is," she says.

With visible regret, however, Korina reckons she could perhaps have helped prevent the death of a younger brother. "If only I could do back then what I could do now," she sighs. "Until today, 15 years later, I still close my eyes and writhe in pain at the thought of my younger brother Ramon who died of leukemia at 19."

Korina will also go out on a limb for a friend. "At a time when I wasn’t liquid," she recalls, "I pawned my jewelry to cover for the arrears of a dear friend in need. She paid me back naman. Later on, she chose an overly jealous boyfriend over all her closest friends, myself included. I have not seen her since (but) I have no regrets."

Perhaps this is so because in serious relationships, Korina believes, "It is better to err on the side of generosity. It is, certainly, generosity that should never reach the extent of regret."

Korina is also the type who gives her friends gifts that she has made herself, right down to the dainty ribbons.

Now if Korina can be that generous with family and friends, imagine how she can be with a man she loves. This is the area which speaks much about Korina as a woman.

For starters, Korina’s idea of pampering a boyfriend is giving him a back rub and why not? Even a pedicure! For an intimate dinner at home, she will stop at nothing to ensure that all details are unique; she will buy steak from, say, the Manila Hotel, caviar from Pravda, dessert from a reputable cake shop, and wine from another source.

"I’m a geisha!" Korina confesses, adding that she is definitely sure she is in love with a man "when I am a geisha to him."

"First of all, a geisha is not paid," Korina clarifies with a laugh. To Korina, who prefers to unwind at home rather than elsewhere if given the choice, it simply means going out of her way to ensure that, "The home is perfect. Everything must be well thought-off–there must be fresh flowers, the right cutlery. I want him to feel relaxed; I do not ask too many questions and I try not to unload my problems. I want to make his stay with me as pleasant as it can be."

Back in high school, her classmates thought Korina was the most likely to have a family first because she was so domesticated, "so totally into my boyfriend," she says. So why is she still single?

Like many Filipinas in their early thirties, Korina has not been spared the usual ribbing–and even grilling–as to why oh why she remains unmarried. "You know," she observes, "it seems that here in the Philippines, if you get married and then you separate–accepted ’yon. But if you don’t get married, para bang it’s not normal."

Having gone through several relationships, all save for one being long-term, Korina, noting that her present age is "crucial to me in terms of choices" says, "Ironically, I am not evasive. I take relationships seriously. I haven’t gotten married simply because the proper time hasn’t arrived. I am a fatalist; I believe that if things are not meant to be, then they are not meant to be." With her first boyfriend, Korina remembers, they already had names for all the kids they might have (she was devastated when they broke up). With another, Korina reached a point of even planning the wedding; even the bridal gown was ready.

Still, all her past relationships were special to Korina. "I thought all my loves were great," she says. "The bond formed in a meaningful relationship will always be there. There are pockets in my heart occupied by each of my former loves that remain untouched."

So what would it take for Korina to fall in love? She replies, "I go for extroverted but quiet men, men who are not afraid to socialize but who aren’t loud and flashy. Not necessarily rich but stable. (I like) grabe ang lambing at hindi seloso. I like a good conversationalist. And I give more weight to EQ (Emotional Quotient) than IQ (Intelligence Quotient)."

And then there must be that all important "spark," which Korina recognizes when she encounters it.

Believe it or not, Korina is even willing to give up her career for love. But she clarifies, "If I am asked to quit, I have to know the reasons behind it. Is it because we will live abroad? What are the alternatives? What will I do in the meantime? Because I’m a workaholic, I cannot not work."

But even if she is thrilled by loving and being loved in return, Korina believes there are two things she will never ever do for love’s sake. "I would never want to break up a marriage," she says. "And if, say, a man were married, I would never ask him to leave his wife."

Being attracted to married men does happen to women, Korina admits. "I think that spark can either happen or not happen between any two people," she says. "It is no sin to me to love someone, even if he were either married, a priest, or an alien from another planet. What you do about that love and how you do it determines its acceptability to God and society. Acceptability to God does not necessarily mean acceptability to society and vice versa."

One other thing, too–Korina will never make the first move.

And the one thing she will never give up for love? "Myself. I really like myself."

Given her busy schedule, how does Korina find time for love? She is willing to "miss an appointment," squeezing in a "quick lunch or dinner" or texting sweet nothings like "How are things? How are you?"

Even if she "sticks it out until I run out of gas" in a relationship, Korina is realistic enough to know that there are times when relationships can’t last forever. "I don’t believe in sticking it out with someone you’re not growing up with anymore," she says. "I would never force myself on someone who wants out." Which is why, she says, "I will probably write my own marriage vows."

"Loving is like maintaining a bank account," she continues, "you have to give something in order to withdraw something. If you reach zero balance, there’s also a grace period.

"Love is really everything the Bible says it is–it should be unconditional. If a man is a babaero, for example, are you willing to put up with it or not? You will know when you have nothing more to give. Only you can determine that; no one can tell you."

Asked if she would agree to sign a prenuptial agreement when she gets married, Korina replies, "He can strike me out of his will if he likes. I don‘t fight for money that isn’t mine. That’s why I work hard. Talking about money is undignified, unless you really suffered during the marriage."

Kids? "It would be good if I would be blessed with one. Preferably I’d like two or three."

And love? "I never really look for love; I believe in love finding me."

Korina’s secrets for keeping romance alive

• Treat your man like a king.

• Don’t argue if you don’t have to. "Will your argument lead to something productive, or will it just bruise his ego? You also have to be conscious of your own ego."

• Have common interests and spend leisure time together.

• Learn to listen.

• Action speaks much louder than words. "You can comfort not necessarily with words but just by being a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes a hug does it. A hug is equivalent to a hundred ‘I Love You’s’. "

• Dress well and look good. "Dress up not only for your man but for yourself. I believe in dressing up for success."

• Don’t take ‘little things’ for granted. "Even a hug is a big thing."