‘How I came into my own’

"I love Cate Blanchett," gushes Imee Marcos, "There is nothing she can’t do!"

If you spend even just an afternoon with Imee Marcos–congresswoman, mother of three teen-aged boys including the hugely popular Borgy Manotoc–you’ll quickly discover that individuality–and the unbridled need to express it–is something she holds dear. It is undeniably, noticeably Imee.

Take this: Imee laments the passing of the likes of Elvira Manahan and Chona Kasten ("They were so totally out of this world!"), and wishes there were more Imelda Cojuangcos and Baby Aranetas. "There are so many pretty women," she explains, "but everyone is so cookie-cutter." She singles out fashion maverick Tessa Prieto-Valdes in the same breath, saying, "Though I don’t know her personally, I like her style."

Of rap mogul and fashion purveyor Sean "Puff Daddy" Combs, Imee says, "He is so cool! He is a genius! He is my total idol!"

Imee reveals with a laugh that in Congress, "I wanna look like J. Lo and I’m stuck in a blue suit! I’m so sick of the pantsuit uniform. I have this bad habit of breaking into rubber shoes."

This rebellious streak has characterized Imee since she was, as she puts it, a "wooly-haired, jeans-clad rebel" in her youth. Despite receiving compliments over how she seems to thrive in her roles, how she has maintained a slim figure and how she just about glows these days–how mainstream she seems to be, in short–Imee insists she remains a rebel at heart.

Perhaps it is this rebelliousness that has drawn attention to Imee more than the other Marcos children; she may be of the Palace, but in many ways seems not quite so. For while she lived for 20 years in Malacañang Palace and still cannot avoid being sized up without being compared to some extent to her parents, former President Ferdinand and Imelda Marcos, Imee has always striven to be her own person.

See how Imee did and does come into her own and how she thinks other women can–in her own words.

Life in the Palace

"I’m a natural-born rebel. I wasn’t comfortable being a ‘princess’. I was always trying to escape the gilded cage. I had a really weird childhood– immensely privileged but also very strict because my father was so disciplined. And there were pressures imposed on me that were obviously not imposed on others. Like, normal ba ang hindi nagtsi-tsinelas at duster? Yung bahay (the Palace), office na rin yun.

My children think my childhood was strange. Obviously, not everyone had a zoo at home or a golf course in their backyard. It was simply not normal. On the one hand it was extremely privileged, on the other it was isolated and lonely. Some of our cousins used to make fun of Bongbong, Irene and me so we had a secret language–we’d constantly make up words. It was beginning to look like a lost tribe inside the Palace.

Luckily, none of my sons is as rebellious as I was. I was pretty awful. My kids are much nicer, more easy-going. I was more intense. They have distinct personalities unlike myself or their dad (Tommy Manotoc) and they’re unlike each other. Which is great and fun.

Was I rebellious because I wanted to be accepted for myself rather than because of my parents? I think that’s what adolescence is all about. You simply have to crawl from the overwhelming identity of your parents and your family, all your inherited realities. Adulthood means you come to terms with that and stop blaming everyone for the mistakes you make; that’s when you come into maturity. I try not to dump on anyone–that’s what coming of age should mean.

Her parents’ daughter

It’s inevitable for girls to respond to their dads in special ways. It’s a French thing, right? Men and women were made for each other–that’s how it works; the pieces fit.

There’s not a second when I don’t miss my dad. He was very funny. He always treated us like we were little ladies. Mas mahilig siya sa bata kaysa sa mom ko. He had this playful story-telling ability and this skill of playing with kids. I don’t think his family was very physically affectionate–that’s my mother’s skill. But my dad was very whimsical and humorous and could easily understand what a kid was trying to say.

My dad was hugely patient, a very indulgent and playful father. My dad was happy to talk about things other than politics; he was delighted to have conversations with friends. His reading material can hardly be called political; he was extremely well-read. He could recite blocks and blocks of poetry. I don’t know how history will judge him in the long run.

I’m definitely my dad’s daughter but I’m also definitely my mom’s daughter (with my) attraction to art and film–the whole creative side. My mom’s artistic genes I think have come through in all of us.

Girls love their daddies, not their mommies, isn’t that the cliché? I don’t know how true that is because I don’t have a daughter. I’m just stunningly ignorant about the raising job. Will I have another child? I don’t think so; I’m too old. I’ve had all kinds of OB-Gyne problems giving birth. My plumbing isn’t right.

When tragedy isn’t tragic

The year l986 was a big trauma and thereafter my dad passed away. After l986, my mom said, ‘Okay, it’s over. Let’s just move it.’ Her attitude pretty much set the pace for us. She just put an absolute deadline and said, ‘We’re moving on.’ She said, ‘The best revenge is we’re gonna be healthy, we’re gonna be happy, we’re gonna come out of this even stronger. That which will not kill you will make you stronger.’

I think my family just keeps soldiering on, marching on. So all these questions about what I regret–it’s hard for me to answer. It’s not being arrogant or anything, it’s just I wasn’t brought up that way (to regret things).

Doing things her way

I have a schizophrenic fashion personality. I treat clothing like costumes. It has no bearing on the occasion. It (has to do with) how I woke up in the morning. It’s my image for the day.

I knew (the late Vogue editor and fashion doyenne) Diana Vreeland very well. She was so the bomb, I liked her sooo much. My drama was like this–feeling ko I was the only ethnic eklat there in New York with these Andy Warholette people. Siyempre, feeling ko I had to be different. So I had this million and one orchids in my hair. I was wearing this dress that was the same as the orchids. So siyempre feel ako ni Diana Vreeland. O, di ba? I used to have dinner in her house and I knew her grandson who’s now the alalay of the Dalai Lama–Nicky Vreeland who was going out with a friend of mine.

In Congress, I’m always chafing at the bit, always trying to push the envelope with clothes. I’m just not comfortable with imposed rules. I have my own code of conduct which I adhere to but that’s very individualistic. Other people have an easier time with rules. I’m one of those who doesn’t.

(That being so) I like the work in Congress. I think it’s tremendous. While I’m rebellious by nature I’m a natural-born policy wonk. I really like thinking hard about complicated policy issues. I don’t mind putting in hours. I think it’s exciting figuring things out and coming up with a completely creative solution.

Coming into her own in Congress

In my first term, I made a point of never opening my mouth in session. I contributed to the committee work which is where most of the actual work is really done. I never made a privilege speech, almost never stood up on the floor because I figured I should just listen. Now I take a more active part.

I’ve focused on areas of legislation pretty much in the public information, media and telecoms area. I have a whole slew of bills–film development, anti-piracy, censorship, convergence technologies, original Filipino music, the amusement tax. This area is something I’m keen on because I obviously come from that sector. First because of my childhood interest in theater and then as director general of the Experimental Cinema of the Philippines. I come with 21 years of history in that sector, more if you add (my years in) theater. Then I was chairman for a long time of the Metro Manila Pop Music Foundation of Doroy Valencia.

Then I have this whole area which involves the hottest transnational crime today–terrorism. I’ve authored the anti-terrorism bill and some legislation that go with that. I have bills on women–domestic violence, trafficking of women and minors, marital infidelity, all these kinds of revisions in the existing laws.

I had a lot of bills also in the first term but it takes a long time to figure out how Congress works, how legislation happens. The reality is I still don’t know how to do it. I know which areas I am interested in but I have a lot to learn in the area of consensus-building. I think there are many more politicians who are much more adept at strategy and tactics than I am.

Femininity on the job

I always thought I had a schizoid existence. There was the Congress me and the rest of me that I checked in at the door at Batasan. I felt I couldn’t be myself in many ways.

But now I’m trying to bring all of myself to the job. For example, I’m a single mom so I spend a great deal of time thinking of ways to take care of children. The whole nurturing, mentoring part–all these skills formed inside the family–should be brought to work. I used to feel that was a little bit embarrassing – you don’t bring your soft side, your mommy side to work. I think that’s stupid now. Why don’t you bring it to work?

In the US women executives mentor younger women. Here in Manila we’re still stuck with a Cherry Hill cat fight thing. I don’t think we should allow men to stick us in that box. We should help other women. And we should help younger people on the job. I’d like to bring my mommy skills more in Congress especially now that I’m privileged to be in between older congressmen and younger ones. So I can help translate–sometimes–the communication gap between third termers and brand new congressmen. I also like helping younger congressmen, talking to them. I really like kids, anyway.

A team player

I enjoy the work but what we commonly know as politicking is not my scene. Legislation is never individual. There is no lone author to any law.

A lot of men did a lot of sports and they speak a lot about leadership and management in terms of sports–being a team player, working in an ensemble. All these macho sporting terms are singularly male and I wish there would be a whole female language for leadership and management.

By and large, women–even when they did some sports–never actually did team sports. My dad pushed us to do sports but even then they were individualistic– sports, running around, swimming, riding horses.

(Team sports has) always been considered a bit unfeminine. I think we’re denied a great deal there. It’s not just the language and orientation, it’s also the discipline. I see that in my children. They’re used to being knocked down, so they’re adept at failure. They just pick up and carry on.

Women get the wind knocked out of their sails very quickly in politics or business. They just can’t pick up and carry on because they tend to give up when they shouldn’t give up.

Financial liberation

One thing I find about women here–they’re very intelligent and brave–but are almost completely uneducated with their finances.

The first step in liberation is really financial. It’s crushing to see friends through separations and family trouble completely bereft of any financial support. We are so illiterate about the functioning of our bankbooks, checks, financial portfolios, completely irresponsible about buying insurance, sorting out taxes. I think that’s sad. Sometimes there are women in showbiz who make piles of money but end up impoverished.

This is an area where women should take charge already. It’s a Pinoy thing na hindi nice magtanong tungkol sa pera or to demand a raise. It’s considered such a nakakahiya thing to do but in reality it’s your right.

Especially as a single parent–which I have been for a while– it’s so important to know. Life is expensive in addition to being tough. You better sort that out.

Taking care of one’s self

I think it’s also a Pinoy thing not to grab some time for yourself. Pinoys are giving to the extreme–not even the sobrang martyr ones but even the thoroughly modern Millies terrifically successful as wives, moms and career women. Even then, you find that they’re very harassed. I mean, we are guilty about going to the hairdresser or we always say we don’t have time to go to the gym or do whatever it is we like. We are always guilty about taking that little time for ourselves (even if) we take care of the children, the husband, the world.

So much of my life is played out in public. I need to be alone. I need reading time. That’s my 20 minutes of silence a day. People have different ways. I have my parlor girl friends. We just meet together, shampoo or dye our hair. Let’s not feel guilty about it–grab it and relish it because you burn out and you can’t keep feeding and nurturing.

Women should do things for themselves a little bit more. I don’t say this in any elitist kind of way–that it’s only the wealthy women who can do it.

Without sounding like Oprah, at the end of the day you really have to know yourself and decide for yourself, be your best self in every way. I think it’s sort of a ‘know thyself’ thing. Physically, you should take care of yourself. So many of us just get run down.

This whole self-reliance, sustainability thing–at the end of the day it’s really only you. There’s a terrible side to our upbringing which has a very dependent side. Like, girls are told, ‘Okay lang, huwag kang mag-aral, magpapakasal ka rin.’ We are always (regarded) in relation to someone, right? While you’re proud of it, you really have to come into your own.

Even if you’ve inherited your position or family name, it’s important to come into your own. That’s the only thing you can rely on. Your family name opens a door but it’s not something you can live off. You certainly can’t rely on it in the long haul.

Am I happy now? I think most people are much happier in their 30s or 40s than than their teens or their 20s. A lot of people have come to terms with themselves and all these teen-aged angst.

Having said that I must say I never left the Kabataang Barangay–simply never. I love adolescence. I’m genuinely interested in the Sangguniang Kabataan. Given 10 people in a room I’d always rather talk to the teenager. I like their rage. Even if they come to terms with all their problems, I still like that in people; I like this change-the-world (attitude). It’s inspiring, it’s fun."