How I knew he was ‘The One’
May 19, 2002 | 12:00am
The author is a STAR reader who got married yesterday to Chito Jusi. She sent this article before her wedding day, writing, "I thought that sharing with many people my great blessing–that of finding my soulmate, and being given the chance to marry him and love him until my dying day–might be the best way I can show (my husband) my affection and gratitude. And hopefully, my story will inspire and enlighten readers, too."
Lea and Chito work in the media department of Basic Advertising
How did I know he was the one with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life? Thinking about it, I could almost feel my heart swell to proportions beyond what my small body could contain. There were so many reasons, so many words, so many memories.
I’m sure people have different takes on this matter. I believe there is no formula, no clear-cut answer to such a profound, universal question. But here is my take on the bittersweet search for "The One."
Chemistry. That’s how it all started. It felt as if we’d been friends for years although we’d known each other just for a few days. We were effortlessly comfortable with each other. Ours wasn’t just a platonic chemistry. Between us was (and is) a powerful, almost-electric, almost-tangible attraction. We’d fall off our chairs laughing like old-time pals, not caring about poise. But when his arms accidentally (or purposely, he still won’t admit) brushed against mine, I would suddenly get uncomfortable, conscious of his touch.
The chemistry between us remains strong. Our relationship is filled with such passion, magic, and excitement. There is still that tingling feeling down my spine when he gives me that look that’s just for me, and when we’re walking in the mall and without a word, he quickly plants a soft, sweet kiss on my hand.
Companionship and compatibility give balance to our relationship. Through those early months of our friendship, we found ourselves thoroughly enjoying each other’s company. We would talk on the phone almost every day for hours. Small talk, not-so-small talk. We talked about books, movies, work, people, food, joys, sorrows, and almost everything else under the sun.
He was (and is) a loyal and caring friend. I remember one night after work I called him at his office. While literally sobbing, I shared with him a heartache of mine. We were on the phone for only a few minutes when he asked me to wait for him because he was coming over to my office. Soon, he was no longer just a friendly voice over the phone but a comforting presence assuring me that things will be better tomorrow.
Then and until now, his presence, especially his touch, comforts me. No heartache, no argument, no misunderstanding is fully resolved, forgiven and forgotten, even after so much discussion, until we’ve hugged each other tightly and said "We’re OK."
When I say we’re compatible, I mean we are alike in may things, and we agree to be different in other things. We enjoy our similarities; we respect, and learn from our differences. We love books. He reads the Dragonlance series; I read the What To Expect series.
There is a deeper level of compatibility, one that means agreeing on your non-negotiables, your core values–values we’ve learned growing up around our families, classmates and teachers, friends and foes, values that dictate our actions and choices, values that cannot be easily unlearned.
I feel so blessed that we agree on most core values and non-negotiables. We say that family should always come first. We agree that the right way to nurture relationships is with quality time, not through material substitutes. We recognize the personal and communal value of spirituality. We value discussion, even debate, as much as we respect personal opinion and belief. We know that open communication and loving acceptance are keys to maintaining our relationship. We promise to talk about things, even when it would seem unpleasant to do so. We try our best to live out what we believe in. We dream of practical, simple, happy living.
Constant choosing I believe is my secret to staying happy with "The One." This is my commitment. It is I saying, "He is the one I love, the one I choose" when I wake up in the morning and before I go to sleep. It renews my promise to love him every second I can. It is I surprising him with Post-It notes on his office desk, and giving him tight hugs for no reason and for every possible reason. It is I choosing to be patient when he’s late, to understand when he suddenly has to cancel a date because of work, to watch my words even though I am hurt, to love him even, and especially when my ego says no.
I knew he was the one for me because he made (and still makes) me laugh the hardest. That is very important to me. We have fun together, and not at other people’s expense (well, sometimes that happens too). We can grow old together, laughing and loving in a small simple house with few trappings but countless blissful memories.
I firmly believe that you will know when he or she is "The One." You will know it in your heart and in your head. I used to ask married people that same question. How did they really, really know? And most of them gave me the same answer: You’ll just know.
At first, I didn’t understand or accept that answer. Now, I do. I know, with full confidence in my head and in my heart, that my man is the one for me. He is the one with whom I will feel heaven on earth, and the one whose hand I will want to reach for when the earth around me feels far from heavenly. He is my best friend, my lover, my soulmate, and partner in life.
Lea and Chito work in the media department of Basic Advertising
I’m sure people have different takes on this matter. I believe there is no formula, no clear-cut answer to such a profound, universal question. But here is my take on the bittersweet search for "The One."
Chemistry. That’s how it all started. It felt as if we’d been friends for years although we’d known each other just for a few days. We were effortlessly comfortable with each other. Ours wasn’t just a platonic chemistry. Between us was (and is) a powerful, almost-electric, almost-tangible attraction. We’d fall off our chairs laughing like old-time pals, not caring about poise. But when his arms accidentally (or purposely, he still won’t admit) brushed against mine, I would suddenly get uncomfortable, conscious of his touch.
The chemistry between us remains strong. Our relationship is filled with such passion, magic, and excitement. There is still that tingling feeling down my spine when he gives me that look that’s just for me, and when we’re walking in the mall and without a word, he quickly plants a soft, sweet kiss on my hand.
Companionship and compatibility give balance to our relationship. Through those early months of our friendship, we found ourselves thoroughly enjoying each other’s company. We would talk on the phone almost every day for hours. Small talk, not-so-small talk. We talked about books, movies, work, people, food, joys, sorrows, and almost everything else under the sun.
He was (and is) a loyal and caring friend. I remember one night after work I called him at his office. While literally sobbing, I shared with him a heartache of mine. We were on the phone for only a few minutes when he asked me to wait for him because he was coming over to my office. Soon, he was no longer just a friendly voice over the phone but a comforting presence assuring me that things will be better tomorrow.
Then and until now, his presence, especially his touch, comforts me. No heartache, no argument, no misunderstanding is fully resolved, forgiven and forgotten, even after so much discussion, until we’ve hugged each other tightly and said "We’re OK."
When I say we’re compatible, I mean we are alike in may things, and we agree to be different in other things. We enjoy our similarities; we respect, and learn from our differences. We love books. He reads the Dragonlance series; I read the What To Expect series.
There is a deeper level of compatibility, one that means agreeing on your non-negotiables, your core values–values we’ve learned growing up around our families, classmates and teachers, friends and foes, values that dictate our actions and choices, values that cannot be easily unlearned.
I feel so blessed that we agree on most core values and non-negotiables. We say that family should always come first. We agree that the right way to nurture relationships is with quality time, not through material substitutes. We recognize the personal and communal value of spirituality. We value discussion, even debate, as much as we respect personal opinion and belief. We know that open communication and loving acceptance are keys to maintaining our relationship. We promise to talk about things, even when it would seem unpleasant to do so. We try our best to live out what we believe in. We dream of practical, simple, happy living.
Constant choosing I believe is my secret to staying happy with "The One." This is my commitment. It is I saying, "He is the one I love, the one I choose" when I wake up in the morning and before I go to sleep. It renews my promise to love him every second I can. It is I surprising him with Post-It notes on his office desk, and giving him tight hugs for no reason and for every possible reason. It is I choosing to be patient when he’s late, to understand when he suddenly has to cancel a date because of work, to watch my words even though I am hurt, to love him even, and especially when my ego says no.
I knew he was the one for me because he made (and still makes) me laugh the hardest. That is very important to me. We have fun together, and not at other people’s expense (well, sometimes that happens too). We can grow old together, laughing and loving in a small simple house with few trappings but countless blissful memories.
I firmly believe that you will know when he or she is "The One." You will know it in your heart and in your head. I used to ask married people that same question. How did they really, really know? And most of them gave me the same answer: You’ll just know.
At first, I didn’t understand or accept that answer. Now, I do. I know, with full confidence in my head and in my heart, that my man is the one for me. He is the one with whom I will feel heaven on earth, and the one whose hand I will want to reach for when the earth around me feels far from heavenly. He is my best friend, my lover, my soulmate, and partner in life.
BrandSpace Articles
<
>