‘Help! I want to leave my abusive girlfriend’

DEAR EPPY,

I am in a relationship right now.  I love my girlfriend, but there are times when she can really be difficult.  Difficult means she becomes irrational.  She actually cries even if I haven’t done anything to upset her.  She accuses me of something that I have not done.  For example, I went out with my friends.  She knew I would be going out because my friends were having a party and they invited me.  I told her about it.  Then, when I met her during the week, she started accusing me of not caring for her because I did not bring her with me to the party.  Most of the time, we are okay.  When she is in a good mood, I am so happy.  During her good days, we talk endlessly without a fight.  I feel so lucky that I have her in my life.  She seems to be the only person in my life who understands me completely.  But there are days when I can’t handle her emotional outbursts anymore.  Sometimes I feel like leaving her.  I know I don’t deserve to be treated this way.  I find her behavior as kind of abusive.  Is it wrong to leave her?

VICTIM BF

DEAR VICTIM BF,

Of course, it is not right to have to be in an abusive relationship.  It is unfair if anyone abuses you.  However, I need to impress on you that you are relating to a woman, not a man.  Men are different from women.  The biological structure is entirely different.  Your reproductive system is so different from your girlfriend’s reproductive system.  I wonder if you know when her menstruation period is.

You might say, “What has that got to do with anything?”  Well, a lot.  You seem to be describing the behavior of a woman when she has her period.  Precisely why PMS is famous.  During the time of a woman’s period, her temperament changes drastically.  Her sensitivity increases exponentially. 

During this time, it would be difficult for a woman to handle her experiences well.  It’s like having a clogged nose.  No matter what you do, your nose will stay clogged and breathing becomes more difficult.  When women have their period, no matter what they do, they can’t stop their bad temper from coming.

Therefore, if you leave your girlfriend now, you will find another one and have the same problem.  It would be best to know the schedule of your girlfriend’s period.  Next, talk about her temper on certain days.  Talk about what can be done so you don’t get hurt and she won’t get hurt.  For example, tell her that when she feels her temper is starting to be bad, then she should acknowledge it and let you know so you can be ready.  All you have to do now is keep quiet and just listen to her till she calms down.

Women can be emotional during their period at any time.  It can happen between two weeks before her period or two weeks after her period.  You can actually talk about her period so you can schedule for you not to expose yourself to her during her PMS.  By avoiding her on these days, you will not have to go through her abusive acts.

In summary, with many women, it is not surprising that they are capable of being irrational during certain days of the month.  You will just have to be patient.  It will pass.  After a couple of days, she will be back to how she was before.

                                                EPPY

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Email eppygochangco@gmail.com.