Saving face

In today’s world, there is probably nothing more ubiquitous in a daily conversation than words such as Facebook, Twitter or even Instagram. Tried and true testaments to the human social need to connect. There are many variants of course — one comes in the form of instant pictures, another just text and yet another a completely different world at your fingertips filled with posts, likes, and God knows whatever else.

Take it from someone who barely has a Facebook account, I have all the respect and appreciation for that which I don’t completely understand. They’re all ingenious platforms, I’m sure — amazing tools as they say that will keep you connected to the modern world. They not only form basic tenets of a daily personal schedule but are also a required venue for business growth. They are not limited by age or demographics, by religion or status. They are great connectors, great levelers as well.

All of a sudden, the ability to “post,” to “like,” or better yet “dislike,” has become a 21st century “power of the people.” Careers, friendships, businesses can all be made and broken with just a click. Amazing? Scary? Good thing the universe and perhaps even the age-old law of karma apply in this microcosmic world of the Internet — or at least we hope. Which leads me then to ask — yes, social networking has improved lives through virtual instantaneous connection — yet, what are we connecting to exactly? So much and, sometimes, so little?

At the very minimum, we become almost purveyors of time. Can you imagine the multi-tasking masters we are creating? You can know what goes on in a person’s day almost immediately, though she be halfway around the world. You don’t have to leave the room, have a conversation on a phone or text constant messages. The only thing I can think of to top that would be mental telepathy. And even mental telepathy may not come in full-color pictures.

I suppose these tools really do save us time. We need not have photographs developed and sent through the mail. We need not write letters and wait two weeks for a response. We need not even wait till we get back from a vacation to share the experience. Social networks allow us to live vicariously through other people, every single second of the day — that is of course, if they “friend” you.

So we connect to their lives, their time. What becomes of our own? As in all self-sustaining creations, there is always circuitry… we share our own lives of course, equally and perhaps unabashedly. So here we are, in this amazing amalgam of life stories told in pictures and posts — documenting every human activity, immortalized in cyberspace. So, again, what are we connecting to?

Gone are the days when letters or responses needed to be composed, thoughtfully, mindfully. Gone are days when pictures were taken carefully since Photoshop had not yet been invented. Gone are the moments of pause when sayings like “position brain before open mouth” could actually be applied. Everything is instant now. Time, has lost its power to nurture and allow.

Lest I begin to sound like an 80-year-old lady so averse to modernity and change (although I daresay I do know a couple who Facebook more than I do), let me clarify: social networks are amazing tools to communicate the wonders in your life, but they are poor substitutes to spending the time to actually create that wonderful life. It is equally so tempting to live out the time that you do have on this earth living vicariously through others — watching, sitting from a computer screen or a mobile phone. Choose what you connect to. Choose what you would like to share. More is not always better.

Sometimes we need to disconnect from the din of the sensory overload that may come with being “social.” Sometimes, the hardest to hear is our own voice, and the hardest to see is our own face. As we share our lives with other people, it becomes challenging to not lose ourselves in all that circuitry, in all the noise. It becomes equally difficult not to surrender our ability to form our own opinions (despite the good opinion of others) or our ability to craft a life of our own making regardless of how many “likes” it make garner.

I know wonderful human beings who get stressed out when they don’t get a chance to update their Facebook accounts or check on their Twitter feeds. All of a sudden, for some people, that which initially brought so much joy is now a source of added tension… another “must-do” in a life already filled with so many lists. Then there are maybe those who get insecure when there is not much to report and others still who begin a cycle of toxic curiosity wondering why he/she isn’t reporting much. It makes you think, doesn’t it? We really do deserve the lives that we create — whether in cyberspace or in our own backyard. Everything is a virtual choice and still all about perspective. As the French say, “Everything in moderation  — even moderation.”

Social networks answer the very human need for community, for communion with others. There is so much comfort in knowing that we are not alone. Yet there too should be comfort in the knowledge that the life, that the face you post need not be instantly picture-perfect, need not be of interest to everyone on this planet nor meet their unanimous approval — but need only be truly, singularly, your own.

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E-mail the author at tcbautista@arkeology.org