Garden-variety parenting

One of the stories that my late father always liked to tell was how after God created the world, the very first job he commissioned for man was farming (or gardening). Right after commanding him to “go forth and multiply,” my dad explained, God’s next instruction to man was to cultivate the Garden of Eden. And so, after dutifully multiplying my bloodline with two children (both of whom will hopefully not grow up to be disobedient lest they also be banished from paradise), I now find myself in the midst of trying to fulfill another verse of Genesis by tilling my own farm. Calling my plot of land a farm, however, is stretching the definition quite thinly. It’s what’s cleverly marketed by the real estate community as a “residential farm estate.” In other words, it’s just a house with a garden and a tiny vegetable patch. It should therefore not require a miracle for me to “subdue” or to “rule over” it. Alas, I am no farmer. Not even a plain gardener for that matter. Over the past month and to my wife’s chagrin, I have accumulated a growing heap of hoses, sprinklers, and other gardening aids that I thought would make things easier. Yet to my not-so-green thumb, I have discovered that maintaining even such a small garden patch requires from me an effort of biblical proportions. 

Be that as it may, the whole experience has not been without some high points. For one thing, we found a termite mound. That may seem nothing extraordinary except that having trapped the queen and saved my house from perdition, the exterminator promptly terminated the 2-3-inch she-devil by tossing it inside his mouth like popcorn! He didn’t even need a chaser, he just gulped her down! Now that is something you don’t get to see every day. Then there’s Joe Bayawak, the small monitor lizard with an injured tail who has taken refuge at the edge of our garden just below my son’s bedroom as he recovers (I have taken Joe to be a good omen for my son’s speedy recovery since he also recently injured his elbow.). A squadron of yellow-breasted and black-winged birds also appears to have developed a liking for our greenery. The feathered aviators have made our bamboo poles one of their pit stops as they race around and around the house and nearby areas. And finally, there are the knowing smiles of my children as they come to my rescue whenever I get frustrated at how long it takes to water all the plants and grass. 

Gardening is a regular part of the curriculum of my children’s school. While some schools seem to want a “dirt-free” environment for their students, my kids’ school believes in exposing them to nature so that they will learn to appreciate it. It’s also not just all about saving the environment. Planting and gardening are great for teaching kids about science and how life develops. And it’s effective in encouraging children to get off the couch and spend more time outdoors. I do believe that there is also something spiritual about it all. There is something primal and elemental when you put your hands into the earth. I think that children feel and recognize this immediately whereas many of us adults miss it completely. My gardening mishaps notwithstanding, at least I’m helping reinforce all of these at home.

I guess that if there’s one thing I’ve learned so far is that gardening is not an ordinary or simple endeavor. In many ways, it’s actually like parenting kids. There is no other way to accomplish either task well without getting down and dirty. There’s a lot of work every single day. You can’t just expect kids or plants to grow on their own, you have to fertilize their environment (hopefully in an organic manner), take out the weeds that hinder growth, and nourish them regularly. Both require tremendous patience as you sometimes need to wait for ages before you see any growth or improvement. There’s also a lot of trial and error involved. You can’t do either task alone and need the help of others. Finally, no matter how much you want them to develop or look a certain way, there is a limit to what you can do. In the end, they will grow up to become who they really are. Tall or short, fat or thin, green or yellow, ordinary or extraordinary, it ultimately does not matter, however. There is no such thing as “garden variety” when it comes to our own kids or garden. Their innate beauty makes them all special. After all, they’re our creations.

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You are invited to attend a public orientation entitled “Waldorf Education: An Education Towards Freedom” on Saturday, March 24, 9:30-11:30 a.m., at the Bantayog ng mga Bayani Memorial Center in Quezon Ave. corner Edsa, Quezon City. The orientation shall be led by David Simpson who has been a Waldorf teacher for 30 years, mainly as a class teacher in New Zealand. He has also been involved with mentoring Waldorf teachers in various countries. For details, call 570-7038/570-8138 or e-mail contact@manilawaldorfschool.edu.ph.

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