Listen up, parents!
October 24, 2006 | 12:00am
I had just arrived from Cagayan De Oro, where I conducted a talk for Nestle, when my driver informed me he would be late because of traffic.
So, I decided to hang out at the waiting area at the PAL airport. I took out my book to have some peaceful time de-stressing. Well, instead of being de-stressed, I ended up stressed! Beside me was a Filipino wife with her American husband and their two active toddlers.
The anxiousness of the couple while waiting for their car was so evident as they snapped at each other at every wrong comment or suggestion about what to do while waiting. When their son couldn’t get his way with something, he decided to make his protest known by lying flat on the floor and squirming until someone came to his rescue. When he noticed that his tactic wasn’t getting anybody’s attention, he stood up and ran and ran until he reached the door of an office. That was when his already uptight father told him enough was enough and said firmly, "NO!" The boy didn’t hear anything and pursued his quest. His dad exploded, grabbed the puny but all-powerful boy, and whacked him on his shoulder. I almost screamed. The mother told the father off. What he did was totally uncalled for. I knew for a fact that the boy was enjoying his time exploring and without clear boundaries, he was unaware of what the issue was about. When his father grabbed him, the boy was even smiling. But when he got a violent whack, he didn’t have a clue and let out a desperate cry. I heard him say, "Sorry, Dad," just to pacify his ruthless father. As they sat back on their seats, the couple let their children run around the hallway again and snapped at their kids everytime they felt they had broken a rule. But I wonder what the rule was that the kids had to follow. I ached and prayed for those kids.
It was obvious that the parents were upset about their late car. The children could’ve been behaved had they been told what they could and could not do. The waiting time could’ve been enjoyable if the parents were one as partners. They obviously had their own agendas. Because of their anger and frustration, their kids suffered and were at the receiving end of their parents’ wrath, which they had nothing to do with. Poor kids!
The key, folks, is in us, the parents. We set the pace for our home.
Let’s shape up, please!
I got this from counselor and parenting advocate Clem Guillermo’s talk.
Read and obey!
1. Thou shall not quarrel in front of your children.
2. Thou shall not lie to a child.
3. Thou shall answer children’s questions.
4. Thou shall treat your children with equal affection.
5. Thou shall have mutual tolerance among children.
6. Thou shall establish comradeship with your children.
7. Thou shall treat your children’s friends with equal affection.
8. Thou shall not blame or punish your children in front of others.
9. Thou shall concentrate on your children’s good points, not the bad.
10. Thou shall be constant with your moods and affection.
– From Harold Sala’s book Train Up a Child and Be Glad You Did.
E-mail author at mommytalk@businessworks.com.ph.
So, I decided to hang out at the waiting area at the PAL airport. I took out my book to have some peaceful time de-stressing. Well, instead of being de-stressed, I ended up stressed! Beside me was a Filipino wife with her American husband and their two active toddlers.
The anxiousness of the couple while waiting for their car was so evident as they snapped at each other at every wrong comment or suggestion about what to do while waiting. When their son couldn’t get his way with something, he decided to make his protest known by lying flat on the floor and squirming until someone came to his rescue. When he noticed that his tactic wasn’t getting anybody’s attention, he stood up and ran and ran until he reached the door of an office. That was when his already uptight father told him enough was enough and said firmly, "NO!" The boy didn’t hear anything and pursued his quest. His dad exploded, grabbed the puny but all-powerful boy, and whacked him on his shoulder. I almost screamed. The mother told the father off. What he did was totally uncalled for. I knew for a fact that the boy was enjoying his time exploring and without clear boundaries, he was unaware of what the issue was about. When his father grabbed him, the boy was even smiling. But when he got a violent whack, he didn’t have a clue and let out a desperate cry. I heard him say, "Sorry, Dad," just to pacify his ruthless father. As they sat back on their seats, the couple let their children run around the hallway again and snapped at their kids everytime they felt they had broken a rule. But I wonder what the rule was that the kids had to follow. I ached and prayed for those kids.
It was obvious that the parents were upset about their late car. The children could’ve been behaved had they been told what they could and could not do. The waiting time could’ve been enjoyable if the parents were one as partners. They obviously had their own agendas. Because of their anger and frustration, their kids suffered and were at the receiving end of their parents’ wrath, which they had nothing to do with. Poor kids!
The key, folks, is in us, the parents. We set the pace for our home.
Let’s shape up, please!
Read and obey!
2. Thou shall not lie to a child.
3. Thou shall answer children’s questions.
4. Thou shall treat your children with equal affection.
5. Thou shall have mutual tolerance among children.
6. Thou shall establish comradeship with your children.
7. Thou shall treat your children’s friends with equal affection.
8. Thou shall not blame or punish your children in front of others.
9. Thou shall concentrate on your children’s good points, not the bad.
10. Thou shall be constant with your moods and affection.
– From Harold Sala’s book Train Up a Child and Be Glad You Did.
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