The difference between illness and wellness

We all want to be well, yet many of us are ill. Each of us has an I’m-doing-just-great mask that we put on for the outside world to see, while deep within we have many secret ghosts and illnesses that haunt us. Although some of these are pathological, most of them are imagined.

Many of us live and die, but never realize the very reason for life. If we only understood that life is not a singular, self-centered experience, but a collective, interconnected one, we would be giving and (most importantly) getting the life support we need to live a healthy and meaningful life.

There is a thin line between illness and wellness. If we could understand the difference between the two, we would discover one of the deepest, most elusive, and highly profound secrets of life.

The Successful Lady

There once was a lady who, like most of us, was drowned in the day-to-day complexities of competitive living. She wanted a great job and got it. She wanted a big house and built it. She wanted the latest in fashion, the chunkiest jewelry, the sleekest car, and a beach hideaway, and got them all.

She wanted to be in the most prestigious enclave of friends and she made it. She craved social respect and got it. She lived a high-profile life, and had many friends and lovers. (Of course, like ants to sugar, friends and admirers abound where success and money are found.)

In her mind, she was the center of the universe and her battle cry was: "I, me, myself! Everything is for me!" She didn’t care much for other people; as long as she was stroking her ego, she was delirious. In the whirl of her professional and social frenzy, she had neglected getting in touch with her only sister who lived in another part of the country.

One day, she woke up depressed and confused. Deep within her heart, she felt empty and unfulfilled even with all the accomplishments and material wealth she amassed. All the stress from her corporate job was taking its toll, and prevented her from having a fulfilling, lasting love relationship.

Feeling some bodily pain and a deep uneasiness, she visited her doctor for a medical checkup.

"Are these the middle-age blues?" she asked her doctor.

When the results came out, her jaws dropped. She had cancer. She went through the usual questioning ("Why me, God?), the denial ("No, it can’t be. This will go away!"), and the slow process of acceptance ("Oh God, if it is Your will….")

While resting in bed one day, she got a phone call from a cousin informing her that her sister had died in a vehicular accident. The car was sideswiped by a speeding truck and forced off its track to a ravine, killing the husband who was driving and the wife. She was jolted by the news and remembered how she had unfairly isolated herself from them.

At the funeral service, she cried tears of regret and repentance, and vowed to take care of the young boy and girl the couple had orphaned. She resigned from her job and stayed in the farm with the children, feeding them, teaching them, and taking care of them like her very own.

The sunshine, the merry murmur of the brooks and the peace of the mountains filled the lady’s day. She almost completely forgot about herself and busied her hours taking care of the children’s needs. Her focus was now on the good of the children, letting her "I, me, myself" take the side stage.

Soon, she felt a warm, wonderful healing take place. Her pain slowly disappeared, and soon color flushed back to her cheeks. When she visited her doctor for a routine checkup, he was amazed that the cancer had been miraculously controlled and cured.

The Difference

As mentioned above, life should not be a singular, self-centered, detached experience but a collective, interconnected and unified one. We need to realize our holistic interdependence with nature and man, and shift our focus from the usual egoistic "I" to a wider, encompassing "we."

By putting other people above us, we find a nobler reason to live. Life has to be lived for others for it to have any significance at all. Yes, the difference between illness and wellness is I and we.

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