In praise of single moms
May 8, 2001 | 12:00am
"They travel lightly whom God’s grace carries."–Thomas A. Kempis ( C.1380-1471)
Well, yes, I’m not a single mom but for the past few months, I have felt somehow like it. Sharon (Cuneta ) says she gets to see her husband in the posters, I get to see mine through pictures. You see, I have not grasped the situation of being a single mom (even if I grew up with one) until the campaign period went into full swing and my husband decided to be full-time volunteer for fund-raising in Kiko’s (Pangilinan, his brother) senatorial bid. Since then, I have had to surrender him to God for safety during the numerous trips on plane or chopper, by sea and land as well as protection from unscrupulous people, and purity from the filth he will have to face because of politics. Many times I have also had moments of loneliness, frustration and despair because of his being away a lot and have had to deal with numerous concerns here in the house, majority of which involves raising three energetic toddlers who each crave for quality time, who even in their dreams utter the name of their father (a clear indication of being severely missed) which never fails to crush my already wounded spirit.
Whew, talk about the sacrifices one has to face for the sake of our nation’s future, our children’s welfare and the generations to come. I have had some explosive fights with my husband because of the emptiness of my emotional love tank, the need for him to be around, etc. and I’m glad, he’s soft-heartened enough to listen, fight it out with me and best of all, see where we can meet halfway and end in each other’s arms. His commitment to seeing us grow through this experience together for a higher vision for our country’s future is heart-changing. I must admit that even if my feelings were all valid, there, outside my comfort zone, lies a country needing a few courageous people willing to sacrifice their time and lives for the sake of many. There also I have realized is a heart waiting to be nurtured and nourished – my husband’s.
I am very blessed to have a husband who I know may be gone for short periods of time but will, at the end of his pursuits, come home to us, his family. He may be physically apart from us but wherever he goes, he carries thoughts about us in his mind. He is constantly in touch and longs to be with us. That is how this article came to be. I realize that not all women or mothers have partners who can support them in their travails. At the end of the day, there is no knight to protect them, to share the deepest longings of their hearts and to fight out issues that will strengthen their souls. I have also been given a glimpse of what life must have been like for my mother who brought us up alone when she was only 21). On Mother’s Day, I salute the women who choose to have their children, even if it means carrying the burden on their own against all odds but with a hopeful spirit that they will make it through. Some of you have weathered divorces, a death of a husband, teenage pregnancy or a separation. You are special and you better believe it!
"You don’t mess with a single mother, she is special," was a line in the movie Jerry McGuire that really touched me. It’s true, she is special, a rare breed. Hers is a heart that has been wounded by a past love that gave her a memorable souvenir: her child(ren). She will never forget the lessons from that past. She may fail again but hers is a courage that will keep rising for the next battle. She is an expert in time management, her fragile bod juggling chores at home and at work or wherever else there is an opportunity to consider for the welfare of her child. A jack of all trades, a single mother may be found one day on the roof fixing a weak TV antenna or in the kitchen fixing a sumptuous dinner. A toughie, she will guard her children with eagle eyes and will make sure they don’t commit the same mistakes (of using their hearts instead of their minds) she did. Single moms are some of the most sensitive people on earth. Their tears are shallow for their longings are always obvious but the same tears have strengthened them.
She is cautious with her next brush with love and always keeps in mind the acceptance of her child as a genuine offspring. When we were kids, my mom only considered marrying or going seriously steady with a man who who showed that we were important to him as well. That made it also simpler for her to choose who to spend the rest of her life with because she would be sure he was seriously in love with her and hers.
So, in this the month of mothers, I salute all moms and may the grace of God increase ever more and the joy in knowing He loves you and is a willing and able husband to you (while he prepares your Prince). In the meantime, enjoy your single life and treasure the gift you have been given through your children for you know that they are your crowns.
Happy Mother’s Day!
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