What to do when a spouse flirts on the Net

Dear Nanay,
Recently I discovered my wife flirting with somebody from abroad through the Internet. I do not know how long she has been doing it but when I confronted her she apologized and told me that it is only a joke and that she was just doing it for fun. But she has already exchanged "I love yous" with that person! I need to know if you think she is interested in having an affair with somebody else. I don’t want to be fooled.
– Confused Husband

Dear Confused Husband,

From what you have said, I think she is definitely interested in having an affair! I do not think that it is a joke and regardless of whether or not she is joking, it is improper for her — a married woman — to be flirting with other men.

Some people might think that her flirting is acceptable because it is done through the Internet, where you can remain anonymous. I disagree. It doesn’t matter how or where you do it. It doesn’t matter if you are in a bar, talking on the telephone, or chatting on your computer. She is a married woman, her actions are improper and a poor reflection of her character. I can think of no logical reason why she would be sharing "I love yous" with this mystery man unless she was entertaining some thoughts of having some kind of affair with him. Mag-ingat ka! (Be careful!)

Sincerely,
Nanay

* * * Plight Of ‘The Other Woman’

Dear Nanay,
I have a relationship with a person who I know is married. And I had the same situation with my ex-boyfriend, who was also married and is trying to come back into my life. Bakit po lahat ng manliligaw ko may asawa? (Why do all my suitors have to be married?) I am so afraid that my mother will find out my situation.
– Michelle

Dear Michelle,

If I were you, I would stay away from married men. Mahirap iyang ginagawa mo. (It’s hard, what you’re doing.) And I really do not think you can keep the secret from your mother indefinitely. Mabibisto ka rin! (You will be found out in the end!)

But seriously, dating married men is not right. And besides, do you want a man who will not be with you exclusively? You will always be "the other woman." There is also a good chance that you will just be a toy to him that he will also eventually leave.

And lastly, think about it. If he can do what he is doing to his current family and wife, don’t you think he can also do the same thing to you in the future?

Better to look for someone else who is unattached so you can start your own family together.

Sincerely,
Nanay

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