The perfect wedding gift
June 15, 2004 | 12:00am
Can’t decide what to give to your friend on her wedding day?
Take heart because finding the perfect wedding gift is really not that difficult. All it takes is a sincere desire to delight your friend with your gift, and a little imagination to ensure that your gift will benefit her in a concrete and practical way.
Sometimes when we give gifts, we subconsciously choose those items that we ourselves would like to receive. But in looking for the perfect gift, we must consider what our friend most likely would want to have.
If you are especially close to the bride-to-be, you can directly ask her before her wedding what she might like to receive. You can ask for several choices so that you yourself will have options when you shop. It will be easier for you if your friend has already chosen a bridal registry in a department store but even then, you might also ask her about other options.
Gifts may also come in the form of "participation" in the wedding details. In one wedding, an aunt volunteered to create the wedding gown; in another, a cousin supervised and the production of the misalettes; and in another, a relative brought in the choir who sang at Mass. Such gifts are helpful because they lessen a couple’s worries about their wedding preparations, and also help ease their expenses.
As it happens, we often get invited to weddings where we are not particularly close to either the bride or groom (i.e., they may be colleagues or business associates). In such cases, one may ask mutual friends about the couple’s interests, so that if they enjoy cooking for example, we can give them kitchen ware. Or if they are artistic, we can give them decorative items. The key is to discover a couple’s interests and hobbies and to work from there.
If we still have doubts about what gift to give a couple, a "safe" alternative – and this holds true not just for weddings but for other occasions – is to give them gift certificates to reputable department stores where they themselves can shop for their choices. Hotels, resorts and restaurants also provide gift certificates, so you can also choose from these. You might also consider tickets to, and accommodations in, popular destinations here in the Philippines or if your budget allows it, even abroad.
Keep in mind, though, that a gift is "perfect" only in so far as it is compatible with a couple’s circumstances. If a couple, for example, will live abroad after their wedding, then it would be pointless to give them items they would have difficulty bringing abroad. In such cases, money is the most practical gift, if not items of value like jewelry that would be easy to carry and would hold a lot of sentimental value.
Money remains one of the most – if not the most – practical wedding gift for couples, especially young ones who are just starting out in their careers. People often hesitate from giving money because they worry that the amount they will give may be "small" or not big enough. But just think: Put all those "small" amounts together and you help a couple in a big way.
In terms of practicality, household items are also good choices, especially appliances, beddings, kitchenware, cookware, silverware, and chinaware. If you are very close to them, one option you have is to ask a couple what else they might need after their wedding or after they have opened their other gifts. The reason for this is that it often happens that couples receive several of the same kind of gifts (in one wedding for example, a couple received four toasters; another couple received four electric fans), so it would be best to check that you do not give any more than a couple need (unless they want more than four toasters or electric fans!). Talking about practical, why not a house and lot if you could afford it?
One limitation for giving gifts, of course, is one’s budget. We are not obliged to spend beyond our means, but we should not scrimp either. Giving a gift is not enough; it must be given sincerely and should be the best that one’s budget allows. Following the Golden Rule: We should give gifts in the gracious and considerate way that we would want to receive them.
Many people still attend weddings without giving gifts. Which raises the question: Is it in bad form to do so? The answer to this is not so much whether it is in bad form or not. Rather, it is that we will be passing up the chance to convey our goodwill and best wishes to a couple, and a chance to delight them on what could be the most memorable day of their lives.
Take heart because finding the perfect wedding gift is really not that difficult. All it takes is a sincere desire to delight your friend with your gift, and a little imagination to ensure that your gift will benefit her in a concrete and practical way.
Sometimes when we give gifts, we subconsciously choose those items that we ourselves would like to receive. But in looking for the perfect gift, we must consider what our friend most likely would want to have.
If you are especially close to the bride-to-be, you can directly ask her before her wedding what she might like to receive. You can ask for several choices so that you yourself will have options when you shop. It will be easier for you if your friend has already chosen a bridal registry in a department store but even then, you might also ask her about other options.
Gifts may also come in the form of "participation" in the wedding details. In one wedding, an aunt volunteered to create the wedding gown; in another, a cousin supervised and the production of the misalettes; and in another, a relative brought in the choir who sang at Mass. Such gifts are helpful because they lessen a couple’s worries about their wedding preparations, and also help ease their expenses.
As it happens, we often get invited to weddings where we are not particularly close to either the bride or groom (i.e., they may be colleagues or business associates). In such cases, one may ask mutual friends about the couple’s interests, so that if they enjoy cooking for example, we can give them kitchen ware. Or if they are artistic, we can give them decorative items. The key is to discover a couple’s interests and hobbies and to work from there.
If we still have doubts about what gift to give a couple, a "safe" alternative – and this holds true not just for weddings but for other occasions – is to give them gift certificates to reputable department stores where they themselves can shop for their choices. Hotels, resorts and restaurants also provide gift certificates, so you can also choose from these. You might also consider tickets to, and accommodations in, popular destinations here in the Philippines or if your budget allows it, even abroad.
Keep in mind, though, that a gift is "perfect" only in so far as it is compatible with a couple’s circumstances. If a couple, for example, will live abroad after their wedding, then it would be pointless to give them items they would have difficulty bringing abroad. In such cases, money is the most practical gift, if not items of value like jewelry that would be easy to carry and would hold a lot of sentimental value.
Money remains one of the most – if not the most – practical wedding gift for couples, especially young ones who are just starting out in their careers. People often hesitate from giving money because they worry that the amount they will give may be "small" or not big enough. But just think: Put all those "small" amounts together and you help a couple in a big way.
In terms of practicality, household items are also good choices, especially appliances, beddings, kitchenware, cookware, silverware, and chinaware. If you are very close to them, one option you have is to ask a couple what else they might need after their wedding or after they have opened their other gifts. The reason for this is that it often happens that couples receive several of the same kind of gifts (in one wedding for example, a couple received four toasters; another couple received four electric fans), so it would be best to check that you do not give any more than a couple need (unless they want more than four toasters or electric fans!). Talking about practical, why not a house and lot if you could afford it?
One limitation for giving gifts, of course, is one’s budget. We are not obliged to spend beyond our means, but we should not scrimp either. Giving a gift is not enough; it must be given sincerely and should be the best that one’s budget allows. Following the Golden Rule: We should give gifts in the gracious and considerate way that we would want to receive them.
Many people still attend weddings without giving gifts. Which raises the question: Is it in bad form to do so? The answer to this is not so much whether it is in bad form or not. Rather, it is that we will be passing up the chance to convey our goodwill and best wishes to a couple, and a chance to delight them on what could be the most memorable day of their lives.
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