The Pinoy is the ultimate obsessive-compulsive

This truth does not rest on the propensity of wanting things to always be perfectly even, straight, and "just the right way." If it did, our highways would resemble actual roads, important infrastructure would not blossom in Manila alone, and nepotism, favor-itism (meaning people who get hired thanks to favors, be it of the flesh or other) and any other "ism" would never prevail; there would be equal opportunity for all.

Neither does it lie in the need for excessive cleanliness. True, taking a bath once a day (at the very least) is a must for any Filipino. Too bad this sanitary practice doesn’t stretch past personal hygiene. The way trash never seems to find its way into the can, the disgusting way public toilets harbor virtually all stinking bacteria known to man, the incredulous vandalism that continues to dis-grace our city streets…the list reaches Saturn! No fear of dirt and germs here…

So why the diagnosis?

Overkill. It’s the Pinoy way. Whether it be the texting phenomenon that has us sending out more messages a day than the whole world does combined or having a bazillion game shows to satisfy all types of urges, there’s this instinctive tendency to join in the fun…and keep the happy times rolling.

Here’s a peak into that bahala na mentality that finds solace in the obsessive–yet highly necessary and efficient–ways to escape the harsh realities of life, Pinoy style!

Re-introducing K.K.K.

(As in Karaoke-han, Kodak-an, Kwento-han, atbp.)

Disclaimer: Far be it from me to poke fun at an establishment formed by our heroes past. This new conjecture is aimed at Filipino empowerment of a different kind–regardless of mix, religion, or social class–through tough times. Though this banter may seem highly superficial, it gains merit in the sheer truth that lies beneath all the madness.

Microphone madness

Filipinos have this mad love for anything and everything to do with music. Songs carry distinct messages of love, grief, joy, pain–wrapped up in catchy harmonic packages. And singers project certain images that the average person can’t help but aspire to become.

From as early I can remember, all these jukebox singers were more than revered– they were emulated.

People who dared–good voice or not–came out in singing contests on TV like Tanghalan ng Kampeon with their shiny, ribbon-infested Sunday dresses and ruffled up suits, hoping to make it big and rub elbows with the likes of Ate Guy and Kuya Pip.

At this point, the big thing is Karaoke. Game shows revolve around it. Barkadas make it a weekly habit. There’s a whole channel dedicated to it. Heck, a good number of folks even have it as part of their entertainment system!

But why the exaggerated fervor for such a seemingly trivial pastime?

There’s a definite sense of power and liberty that comes with holding a microphone. Apart from all that therapeutic yodeling, it’s a chance to be in the spotlight… even if it’s only "pretend." Family and friends will applaud, no matter how horrible the rendition.

Ever tried singing your worries away?

Picture! Picture!

Vacationing in Batangas a few weekends ago, I was a witness to two unshakable truths. First, there is definitely something magical about a spectacular sunset. Second, Filipinos can’t help but capture every important moment on film.

There I was, trying to take in the serenity that comes with that big red ball disappearing into the horizon.

Couldn’t do it. Too much ruckus about 10 meters ahead. A family of five tried damn hard to work the automatic click of their camera while fitting everyone–the mighty sunset being the fitting backdrop, of course–into the frame. Needless to say, one photograph was not enough.

It never is.

We Pinoys simply adore taking pictures of anything and everything, sometimes to a semi-psychotic degree.

Whatever the occasion (who said there had to be one?), as long as the urge is there, there will be a flash going off every so often.

Why the fascination with moments caught on film?

That’s exactly what it is–a happy moment, captured. Kept forever in a dinky album or in a beat-up shoe box. Even if it wasn’t necessarily a treasured blissful time, that perpetuated smile will have you believe otherwise.

Heard the latest?

Gossip. A biting word with a universe of negative connotations. You crap on your end of the world, and by nightfall, everyone at the other side of town is aware of what its color and consistency was. Nobody can escape it. Everybody’s guilty of it.

To the rest of humanity, it’s a way of life. To the Pinoy, it’s a work of art. Maybe it’s because we tend to revolve around miniscule social groups and can’t help but overhear stuff. Maybe it’s because a lot of us have severely huge mouths. Or maybe it’s just because we really, really, really have to know everything.

We as a nation have definitely raised the standard for round-the- clock tittle-tattle. Blind items. Suggestive innuendos. Blatant finger-pointing. Whether it be a session by the batis–chatting away while beating their laundry–about Aling Ising cheating on her husband with the village doctor or showbiz talk time exposing the filth on supposed "role models" and silver screen idols–the rush is one and the same.

It’s always comforting to know that there are unfortunate people out there who have bigger problems than your own. Suddenly, your life’s not half bad.

Whoever said "ignorance is bliss" is clearly out of the gossip loop.

ATBP (at iba pa)

The following definition of a more than fitting acronym need not be explained in detail. Each one more than exposes the Pinoy’s need to exaggerate anything and everything that’s on or in the "hot" seat. Surely, our compulsion to keep a good thing going has reached unbelievable heights!

A-ng Game Show, bow!

Text your fastest best, and God will do the rest! And if you’re unlucky enough to not get into your game show of choice, you better dare not lose hope–there are a truckload more to choose from! If it’s just about getting a moundful of cash and prizes without having to slave over a deadbeat job, you shouldn’t have the audacity to be that picky.

However, if you’re in it for other reasons–like meeting the ever-so-chirpy Kris Aquino in the flesh just to tell her to stop being too obvious when the wrong answer is mentioned–then, surely, you’re more than willing to wait your turn.

And if you’re a silent fan like me…cheers! It’s an entertaining way to have 30 minutes pass before you find something more eventful to engage yourself in.

T-elenovela Fevah!

Yes, it’s been around forever. When I was eight, my dad forbade me to watch my favorite Yagit–no thanks to my sister who feared our road trips, hoping those nasty "tulisans" (bandits) wouldn’t come down from the mountains to kill us!

Maybe that’s why I have this aversion to all current telenovelas. Or maybe it has to do with the fact that I can’t strike up a decent conversation with my parents, aunts, or friends when primetime starts! Geez, I catch them talking about what Amor Powers did the other day…like it had an actual effect on their existence!

Then again, I don’t think there is an excuse for those Mexican soaps. And what’s this about Monica Brava saying she’d love to be kidnapped by the Abu Sayyaf? We should have quit with Thalia.

B-illiaran na!

What can I say…pool halls are everywhere! You can’t turn a corner without seeing a green table and brightly colored balls.

Then again, why end something that we Filipinos are world-class at? Better still, if everyone as talented as Efren "Bata" Reyes were as low-key and unassuming, we’d be out of that "Third World country" category! What a gem of a guy. Sure, he picks his nose in public…far better than holding it high in the air and sniffing in all the glory.

P-agkain, please!

It’s no secret that we love to eat. Walk into a Filipino household, and be ready to be offered a world of choices.

Hell hath no fury like a starving Pinoy (it’s sad how a good majority of our fellowmen remain impoverished). Food is such an integral part of our culture, of our very being!

Or using food to earn a buck or two, for that matter. Although economic times are bad, there is always a glimmer of hope in food. "Jolly Jeeps" thrive, whipping up the simplest yet most flavorful meals for all of P30. The meal stall named "Cooking Ng Ina Mo" near Katipunan was such a hit, "Cooking Ng Ina Mo Rin" across the street came to be all but months later.

It’s hysterical, but very true. If all business ventures fail…invest in food. But make sure you either have a winner of a name, killer dishes, or unmatched ambience–just to be sure the customers have a reason to come back.

* * *

So, do you choose to plead guilty to one–or all–of these classic cases of compulsion? Why be in denial about being overly obsessive?

Instead, be comforted with the fact that our propensity to obsess over something springs from our ability to rise above adversity, and cling on to anything and everything that’ll have us forget–even for a little while–that life in our country isn’t a stroll along easy street.

Besides, nobody ever said that it was a sin to play pretend.