On cleaning, pruning, letting go

The only way, really, is for me to do it every day. Like a good diet, a healthy lifestyle, a marriage — this, too, is something best taken on regularly, in regular doses, a constant (and mindful) must-do.

I am talking about cleaning, pruning, letting go. There is the emotional aspect, but the one I speak of is the physical kind — specifically, letting go of things that have accumulated here and there through the years. In this realm I’ve dealt with quite a handful: porcelain sets and home items bought on a whim (maybe it was at a clearance sale, or I felt like rewarding myself after a happy project); beautiful dresses, yes, but hardly ever worn, just hanging in the closet, waiting for the right occasion; unopened palettes of makeup and brand-new tubes of lipstick; handbags once used; wallets (how many do we need, really?); jewelry and accessories that no longer resonate with me.

It is easy to let go, yes, but generally only of things you no longer like, have use for, need, much less want. The greater challenge is parting with all that stuff you still hang on to “just because” and the reasons can be many: it is a classic (yeah, right); you saved up majorly for it (you can always save up for something else); others would kill to have something like it (that’s always arguable, and relative); one-day-it-will-be-precious/uso again/relevant again/priceless, and on and on. (You can basically fill in the blanks with endless reasons.)

The challenge posed here is for you to let go of things you really want to keep forever and ever, but admittedly have more than enough of already. There. Maybe that category will be a good start. “The Joy of Giving,” one level up. Or “The Joy of Giving, Version 2.”

And so I tried it. It proved to be more difficult than I thought it would be, admittedly some days (and things!) more than others. But there is a lightness of being that comes right after a steady stream of letting go; sometimes it is fleeting, but always it is a good feeling to have, something you can sit down with as you have a happy drink (my favorite now is fresh turnips, and pure juices). Here’s a little trick I use all the time: someone once told me that in the process of pruning, when you’re ever-so-tempted to hold/hang on to something, ask yourself this: “If I let this go, will it bless someone?”

Always, the answer is yes. And then it becomes easier. So when that conviction sets in, go get the item, toss it in the box, never say “hi” to it again, even for just one last goodbye. Which brings me to my godchildren Jaden, or maybe it was Javi, and how the school one of them attends had a shoebox project one Christmas wherein they were asked to fill each shoebox with things that can be passed on to another child.

I’ve taken that as my inspiration. I gathered some shoeboxes, and I have filled about half a dozen from the time I started this last month. Each is filled with a mishmash of things that fall under the more difficult category of “I-don’t-want-to-let-you-go-but-I-will.” I do it with a person in mind for each box, whether there is an occasion or not, because I want the shoebox to be a happy thing for the recipient, filled with things put together just for her.

It is liberating, to say the least. It is empowering, too, this kind of emptying out. Truly, there is much to gain even as you constantly deny yourself, as you trust in the beautiful truth that even as you forge on, your cup will never run dry, or empty.