Spoon and fork 

Why do we see people use a knife and fork to eat while others use a spoon and fork? I saw a mother correct her son NOT to use a spoon so the kid labored using his knife and fork to eat rice and meat. 

I think that a spoon and fork goes well with Filipino food in the same manner as a knife and fork is good for steaks you need to cut or to carry cubes of potatoes and carrots into one’s mouth. But for rice, there is nothing more efficient than a spoon and fork. For Filipinos, that is. Other rice-eating Asians use chopsticks and this is why Japanese, Chinese or Korean steamed rice is stickier and not “buhaghag” like how we sometimes prefer old or aged rice (laon), as it cooks without sticking together as much as California or Japanese rice.

In Korea, we were always given a long metal spoon and chopsticks. In Japan, we are given just chopsticks because you drank soup straight from the bowl. If Emily Post wrote that we should only use knife in the right hand and fork on the left, she meant it for Western food. She probably never ate adobo or kare-kare. 

So why do parents train their children to eat with fork and knife when they would eat soup and rice smothered with oily or creamy sauces? They should read up on the history of the world, where forks came much later than knives. Actually, our ancestors ate with bare hands – and they just needed the knife to cut stuff into bite-size pieces. They also cut the food so one would not take the whole bone with meat, depriving other diners of their share. 

In India and in many parts of Asia, it is acceptable and it’s the culture to eat with bare hands, although washing them first is custom and is good practice. They say that eating with bare hands also talks to your brain and your senses to better taste the food. I would believe that as it is a lot of fun eating with clean bare hands. It is also best to eat shrimps, crabs and other crustaceans that you need to shell with bare hands. 

I remember the restaurant founded by the Villlavicencios called Kamayan. In the 70s, tourists would trek to this place to experience eating with bare hands. Still, there would be serving spoons for sauces and soups. 

These days “kamayan style” (like an inasal place in Bacolod) offers disposable plastic gloves, which do not make the experience authentic. For how will your fingers tell what the food is telling your brain if there is a barrier set by the disposable gloves? 

Just like walking barefoot sometimes, we should also learn to eat with our hands. That is what our culture demands and how our ancestors ate. It was only when the colonizers came that we were made to use implements and, much worse, asked us to eat with knife and fork – a tedious task when you are served soup and rice. We Filipinos eat with gusto as we drizzle sauce and soup onto our scoops of fluffy white rice. How can you eat that with knife and fork?

I guess parents teach their children to learn how to hold a spoon and fork (do not grip it like a gun but like a dainty miss hold it with just three fingers and your thumb with your pinky raised). In these days when most of the spoons and forks are either recycled wood or plastic, children may not even know the feeling in the mouth of a proper metal spoon or fork. 

I remember giving our young recruits training on proper table etiquette. They did appreciate learning how to behave at the table using the implements given them. Even table setting with proper serving dishes influences our children’s behavior until they grow up to be adults having their own households. Rather than seeing pots and pans on a table, it is always a nice gesture to have serving dishes even if the food served is simple fare: fish and vegetables. A serving spoon is also de rigueur so as not to share your eating spoon with the general public. And remember, holding the spoon and fork gingerly and not choking the flatware with a tight grip is also a sign of good breeding and proper etiquette.

And finally, we were taught to put our spoon and fork together on a plate when we were finished. This signaled to the waitstaff that we were done with the meal. At home, it also meant we could put away the dishes. I still find it disconcerting to see a spoon and fork separated on opposite sides of a plate and to see the diner gone. I also find it disconcerting when people stack plates together in a public place – like you were going to clean up the whole table as part of the crew. 

Spoons, forks, knives –they were introduced to us but we must adapt them to our culture and our food. Let not a colonizer tell us how to eat sinigang and kare-kare with a knife and fork. If, however, you are on a diet, you are even better off getting a spoon with a hole in the middle. 

In more rustic parts of the country, there are no knives served. But the surprising fact is that the spoons (sharp thin gauge stainless metal) have sides that are sharp enough to allow you to cut meat into bite-size pieces. Problem solved. 

It’s interesting to watch people in other places using what implements they are most used to. But like any other practice, culture dictates how we use these tools. Some people cannot and will not learn to use chopsticks. As some chopstick users will not use a spoon and fork. To each his own. There is no right or wrong. If you are self-conscious in the company of strangers, do what is most comfortable for you. 

Eat well.