What’s so special about this day?

Most people especially the younger generation perhaps do not know anymore or have forgotten the real reason why today is called Valentines’ day. The occasion has been so highly commercialized as to become a special day for romantic pair of lovers of different or same sex whose hearts have been symbolically hit by the amorous arrows of a small winged boy depicting the mythical Roman god of love.

Bookings in hotels, motels and restaurants usually shoot up before, during and after this day as “sweethearts” of all sizes, shapes, age and status (single, married or “in-between”) check in or make reservations for their once a year extraordinary date when they can be “alone together again.” Furthermore, at no other time of the year perhaps do flower shops and stores selling roses and “valentine” cards make so much money than during this day. Even the contraceptive market, particularly of condoms, experience a sharp increase in sales as the Department of Health promotes their use during this time or purchases hundreds of million pesos worth of these device to be distributed freely supposedly for the promotion of the women’s reproductive and sexual health.

In this modern day and age, and highly commercialized world therefore, Valentine’s Day has unfortunately become a mere day mainly catering to human emotions and feelings. Too much commercialization of the occasion has distorted our concept of love by overly emphasizing and celebrating its physical manifestation than its spiritual aspect. Our valued traditions have been gradually eroded. The Filipino custom of “no touch” practiced by our elders has been replaced by the overt kissing in public where couples scandalously display their affection for each other. In fact some ten years ago we even conducted a “kiss festival” on Valentine’s Day alluringly dubbed as “lovapalooza” where we allegedly established a world record of the biggest number of couples locking lips for more than ten seconds. And we seemed to be proud of such achievement.

But there are still compelling reasons for us to celebrate this day as a special day of love. This is the other kind of love in its real sense as demonstrated by the Saint whose feast day we celebrate today. Today is precisely called Valentine’s Day in honor of St Valentine, the Roman Bishop who gave up his life for the love of God. He was the Christian martyr and holy priest beheaded on February 14, 269 during the persecution by Emperor Claudius II, when the enticements dangled before him and the beatings and other tortures inflicted on him, proved futile. His name, “Valentine” means valor and he became the Patron of Lovers because for many centuries lovers have effectively appealed to him for courage and strength when facing difficulties in their love affairs.

The lovers who look up to St. Valentine are therefore those who consider love not only as a feeling or emotion but a decision where they follow not only the dictates of their hearts but also the mandate of their heads which enable them to distinguish between right and wrong. Today is really a propitious occasion for “real” lovers to assure each other of being the “one and only.” Shorn of Cupid and his arrow and all those heart-shaped commodities, this is truly the best time for lovers — particularly married couples — to ponder on the loftier aspect of love as a decision and not a mere feeling so that their marriage will not eventually be “on the rocks” because of the self-serving feeling that love has come and gone. This is time for them to look at love once more as an act of the will, of making up their minds to stick together under all circumstances “till death do us part.”

As for lovers who are not yet married, today is also the best time to ponder and realize that true love is more easily demonstrated by mutual respect for each other’s personality and dignity as man and woman than by a mutual desire to satisfy their sexual urge through sweet talks and indecent acts that usually end up in the motels. This is the proper time for them to appreciate the cerebral and more discreet part of love that will enable them to clearly see marriage as a relationship where there is no more exit once they get in, so they should not immediately fall in love at first sight and immediately plunge into an inextricable relationship.  

It is really easy to see that love as a mere feeling is largely self-centered and breeds pride, envy, jealousy, hatred, contempt and even irrational distrust. On the other hand, love that simultaneously involves the head and the heart is primarily “other-centered” and develops patience, kindness, humility, generosity, goodness, continence and chastity. This kind of love is best described by St Paul in his letter to the Romans (13:9-10) where he said that after the first and foremost commandment of “loving God above all things, all the commandments there may be” can be summed up in one simple mandate — “you shall love your neighbor as yourself. Love never wrongs the neighbor hence love is the fulfillment of the law.” Following this exhortation of St. Paul it can therefore be also said that “A Love Each Day Keeps Trouble Away”.

If this is the kind of love we will have not only on Valentine’s Day but everyday of our life, there is nothing so special anymore on this day, because we have made every day happier than this day.

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