Chance or calling?

I am on my third Men’s Discipleship Group where I facilitate a group of 10 to 15 men in studying the Bible as well as other teaching material meant to help men navigate life, relationships, family, finances and profession.

I write about this experience to point out that there are many young and older men out there who badly need discipling, mentoring or help in confronting their repeated failures or fears.

Others suffer “the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,” financial or political setback where “religion and religiosity” are unrelatable on the surface. Only sincere compassion, transparency and honesty work as the scalpel, so to speak.

My hope is that readers might realize the need and would “sign up” instead of giving up to help the unseen, the forgotten or those written off as beyond redemption. I have seen far too many “saves” to think otherwise.

Deep down inside every man is someone who wants to do the right thing, love people and serve a greater purpose. What prevents them are the lifelong errors, hurts and betrayal from male figures and leaders. As the saying goes, “Hurt people – hurt people.”

I have also learned that men are not showy or demonstrative, even about their life-changing experience. Society and religious people expect sinners to confess their sins and salvation from the rooftops, but men simply keep it between them and God.

There are no accidents in God’s will, only divine appointments and matching. I never signed up to lead those 3-D groups. I was happy to be part of the supporting cast but “the ways of the Lord are strange indeed.”

One day, I found myself visiting a political prisoner of high position for an interview and right there I ended up apologizing for the hurtful words and criticisms I said on radio about him, regardless of whether he was innocent or guilty. We must respect the office, the position, if not the man.

Then I gave him the very Bible my father Louie Beltran read during his four months in the Camp Crame stockade. None of it was my idea, I simply let the Holy Spirit lead me. As a result, we were invited back for several Bible studies led by four pastors and three church members.

After several months, seven became six, five, four, three, two until I was the only one left. While the pastors wanted to carry on with the work, the political detainee somehow connected with me and my Dad’s memory.

The 15-minute easy drive from work to the detention area became a one-way hour and a half drive up the hills of Rizal and then back in the dark, every Friday for four years. What I lost in terms of a team was quickly replaced by family members and political allies of the detainee and to this day they have continued.

After four years, the detainee was freed and returned to politics against my advice. I honestly felt disappointed and asked if all the effort went to waste. But someone pointed out that those four years helped prevent a possible suicide, further political turmoil.

More importantly, those meetings reintroduced people to God and the word and brought healing for many families. Some things are for the moment, others for a lifetime.

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The next D group I facilitated was “The After-Market Mafia,” a small but influential group of men whose businesses provided all the bling and glam for fast cars. They were also joined by some motoring media and they all lived for “fast cars, the quick buck and the promiscuous lifestyle.”

What they shared in common was community, feeling lost, seeking purpose and someone who would mentor them. They also needed someone who would not BS them and help them navigate through life as well as business.

As chance would have it, I was into car restoration, but more importantly knew about the frustration of not having a mentor when you needed one. One day one of the guys asked me if I could help out but on the condition that it was not churchy or Bible thumping sessions.

So, we started with dinner and beer wherever they felt comfortable, and it soon became a weekly thing. What I did not tell them was all the conversation was totally Bible-based, spoken in “Fast & Furious” lingo.

After three months, everyone voted to scrap the beer from the menu because it made them fat and others said, “Don’t Drink & Drive.”

While we got into the Word, they were not easy times as I rebuked or called out guys in front of everybody. I cared but I was never gentle.

The original participants have moved on to become better husbands and fathers, successful businessmen, active church goers of different faiths and responsible taxpayers. They even removed “sexy models” in car shows and events and made these more family oriented.

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Nowadays, I facilitate a “mix” of young and older men, guys starting out in small businesses with very little capital and older accomplished millionaires asking “What is my purpose in life,” “How do I get back on track,” etc.

The difference from other D-groups is that by divine appointment, we are presented with two different sets of men in two different stages of life. One with so much of life ahead, the others trying to have a better ending.

God willing, we can all get inspiration from each other as we adopt the Bible lesson, “iron sharpens iron.” If you are a father, brother, husband or business leader, go beyond the essentials and bottom line. Help disciple the next generation to be better men, better leaders.