Hitler's meteorism

Why was there so much laughter from the audience when an unidentified prosti said her life was full of ups and downs?

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A woman in Spain has been reported as having claimed ownership of the Sun. And she is collecting a fee from anyone who makes business out of the heat of the Sun.

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But didn’t Congressman Eddiegul say many times over that the Sun shines for everyone?

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Last night I could not sleep. I tried to get sleepy by reading “Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader,” a reference book published by the Bathroom Readers’ Institute, but the more I could not sleep a wink.

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I got interested in an article about Adolf Hitler — after whom my father named our German Shepherd — and the many illnesses he suffered like crazy while fighting the war against the Allies.

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One of these illnesses is called meteorism. It’s not in the dictionary. But maybe my good doctors — Dr. Maning Lim (a cardiologist) and Dr. Butch Cabahug (a urologist) know what its all about.

If they don’t, I would understand because meteorism is not their cup of tea. Meteorism is the powerful and violent attack of uncontrollable farting, not to be mistaken for what Shakespeare called “sweet sorrow.”

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Everytime the Christmas season comes around, the government reminds everyone of the risk in mishandling firecrackers. Everyone, that is, everyone who wants to finish the celebration with his arm or hands intact.

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A specific place is pinpointed by the authorities for blasting firecrackers, not anyone’s hand. But a renegade neighbor says: “Nganong haguon pa man ta’g pangita sa pabuthanan nga mahimo ra man ihug ang rebentador sa tiilan ni bisan kinsa?”

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Mayor Mike Rama has started to prove he is his own man and not the man still of Rep. Tom O. And many are giving him their thumbs up. He proved this by talking back to Tomas regarding the implementation of City Ordinance 1837.

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Tomas gave Mike a piece of his mind when Mike implemented CO 1837 which bans intra-city PUJs from the city’s major streets. “Nahitabo baya to sa iya time ... okay man. Nganong karon di man?”

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Has Mayor Mike finally seen the light? My friend Noy Temyong to Hizzoner: “Wa’y bakwiay sa sulti ha.”

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