My fair lady

Last week, I accompanied a close friend to the grocery store when she wanted to buy toiletries. What she dumped into her basket were toiletries all right - that is, all the whitening varieties. I saw the works: whitening soap, whitening lotion, whitening foot scrub...and she even wanted those health capsules currently available that incidentally whitens skin. Nah, I didn''t judge her for it because if that''s what it takes to make her feel gorgeous, then she has every right to go for whatever products she wants.

Then again, what does it take for us to feel gorgeous? What has always amazed me is how we have so many whitening products in our local market. And they sell like hotcakes. It''s not even a niche market - whitening products are marketed like they''re made for mass production. It seems to be the generally accepted concept among us Filipina women that fair skin equals beautiful.

But wait, isn''t "pale and pasty" used to describe sick people? I''ve always thought having a bronzed, sun-kissed glow looks vibrant and so much healthier. Frankly, whitening products won''t change your ethnicity anyway. A morena lady isn''t going to become mestiza even after a decade of whitening scrub. It''s a simple truth: It''s better to be happy with what you''ve got than to try to be someone you''re not.

For about two years, Dove has been running the successful Campaign for Real Beauty wherein they showed girls from all over the Philippines. I''m sure you''ve seen their campaign in fashion magazines. For example, there''s a picture of a glowing Ilocana lady with sun-kissed skin and the tagline is: "Dark? Or Dazzling? Make a stand. Join the beauty debate." That''s at www.campaignforrealbeauty.ph, by the way.

Dove''s Philippine study among Filipina girls aged 15 to 17 and Filipina women aged 18 to 64 revealed that a whopping 95 percent of Filipina women today say they don''t feel beautiful at all and want to change their looks. In fact, compared to other Asian countries, the Philippines scored significantly higher when it came to their physical hang-ups. More than half the girls surveyed said that whenever they feel bad about themselves, it was usually related to their looks and weight. When asked about skin color, Filipinas were shown to be the most unhappy with their skin tone among their Asian counterparts.

I like how Dove reminds us that beauty comes in a rich diversity of color, size, age and race. The Philippines is a country so rich in diversity. So why is that we have to conform to society''s very narrow definition of beauty? Who said beauty is only for the select few?

A beauty quality that radiates from inside out (and you don''t even have to spend a fortune at the spa for it) is confidence. This works wonders for how a woman carries and projects herself and it magnifies her personality. Confidence and healthy self-esteem really bolsters a woman''s overall image. Looks can''t overcome personality. Be happy with what you''ve got and learn to work with what your mama gave you. She did okay, didn''t she?

I was hanging out with my friend Nelia the other day and she was happily munching cheese nachos and shawarma - supposedly fattening food but she didn''t mind at all. With her wavy raven hair and deeply bronzed skin, Nelia, of average height, doesn''t look like the models we see in magazines. But she is happy and confident and she is beautiful. People, including myself, always tell her that she''s gwapa. With her trademark wicked sense of humor, she was telling me how she kidnapped her young cousin after her final exams and taught her to skimboard along the Liloan shoreline. Now that''s sexy.