Some sayings about life for Halloween

In connection with the coming All Saints Day and All Souls Day, reader Timothy Lorenzo sent me some sayings about life and death. I'll give some space only to the sayings about life.

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"Life is like an onion," said the famous Carl Sandburg. "You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep."

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Said Joe E. Lewish: "You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough."

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"Live as if you were to die tomorrow," says a Latin proverb.

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Said Bob Phillips: "People are living longer now, they have to - who can afford to die?"

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Mayor Tom O has warned his cops not to be caught if they make monkey business. Otherwise, he'll make them go bananas.

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My unsolicited advice to Hizzoner's cops: Outwit the Boss by observing the 11th commandment which says: "Thou shall not be caught."

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Look at that cop who did not follow the 11th commandment when he brought a girl to a motel. He got caught and is now in hot water.

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It says here that the "buangs" in the city were rounded up and "dumped" in some mountain barangays. Our officials don't want them to be seen loitering around during the staging here of the 12th Asean Summit.

"Apil sila sa cleanup campaign where eyesores and trash are being gotten rid of," my tokayo John Jaspe said shaking his head.

"Mga buang na gibinuangan pa gyud," commented another tokayo Juan Hinolan.

"Bitaw," I said. "Giisip nilang trash kun basura ang mga buang. Mao ra ning basura nga may kinabuhi."

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What's this I heard about the Boy Scouts of the Philippines (BSP) recruiting girls as members? Are we running out of boys to bolster the BSP membership?

Many things, queer things, seem to be happening in our country these days," commented my tokayo John Jaspe. "Tiaw mo bay mga girls himoong boy scouts."

"Oh, well, that's better than letting our boys join the Girl Scout movement," I said.

"Haay... onli in da Pilipins!" said John.