Bringing up the moral child

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(Part 3 of a series on Husbands and Wives)

Children can understand much more than we give them credit for – as long as what we ask and tell them make sense within a framework with which they have some experience.

A few years ago, we gave a small dinner party when our grandson Cyrus, who was four years old then, asked one of our adult guests where he lived. He promptly replied, "Subic," Cyrus asked again, "Where’s that?" Our guest began to answer, "It’s…" but stopped short and looked confused, "How do you explain where Subic is to a four-year-old?"

"Would he understand?" He asked me. "Sure," I said. Then I told Cyrus, "If we got in the car right after breakfast (from 8 to 8:30 a.m.) and drove out past the supermarket, and drove and drove all morning, we would get to Subic just when it was time to have lunch."

"Oh," said little Cyrus and nodded. Then, he turned back to our guest from Subic and said, "So, that is why you do not come here a lot."

In moral education or any other kind of education, it is self-defeating to start out with assumptions about what children are incapable of learning.

Piaget believed that children’s mental abilities develop through clearly defined stages and that a child is incapable of certain tasks before reaching a certain age. To test this, Jacques Mehler and Thomas Bever used a standard Piaget task. They placed four stones in a row, spaced widely apart; next to this row they lined up a shorter row of six tightly spaced stones. They then asked four-year-olds to choose which row had more.

As Piaget had predicted, the children had difficulty doing this. But when chocolate candies were used instead of stones and the children were asked to "take the row you want to eat," very few of them had any difficulty picking the row with six candies rather than four. From Piaget’s point of view, these children were doing the impossible – yet they were doing it very reliably.

Piaget’s and Kohlberg’s Stage Theories are based more on their philosophical presuppositions than on controlled observations of children.

Piaget and Montessori in history

In the history of education, it is noted that when Piaget was starting his career in Switzerland, he would listen to Dr. Maria Montessori’s lectures on the child. The Montessori basic theory that "the child is in the process of becoming" fascinated him. It defined the child’s passages through three stages of "re-births" – infancy, childhood and adolescence – before he matures.

Unfortunately, without taking the full Montessori teacher training and without a full time work in a "child laboratory," Piaget developed his own personal theories of development. Observing only his own children at home as his major subjects, he drew up his own conclusions and wrote many books.

Meantime, Maria Montessori dedicated her life to actual "discoveries" of the "new children" in the "Prepared Environment" of work. Until her death in 1952, she was able to develop two kinds of curricula and corresponding teacher training for infancy (birth to six years) and childhood (six to 12 years). When she died in the Netherlands, Dr. Montessori left behind her blueprint for the adolescent, the junior agronomy high school, Erdkinder, to meet the needs of teenagers – to prove their capacity for economic independence, patriotism and creativity.

To her disciples, Dr. Montessori left these words of wisdom: "The greatness of the human soul remains to be continuously unearthed. I have only begun to tap it. You must continue to help the mission of man’s evolution."

The influence of Piaget and his followers seems to be more far-reaching than Montessori’s especially in the Teacher Education departments of universities. More copies of Piaget’s books are sold than Dr. Montessori’s. Thus, when the well-read parents and teachers start out already convinced of what the child is incapable of learning, there is no question that this lack of faith will be met by character deviations.

Stage Theories have never provided parents and teachers with formats for better teaching. Neither has any successful educational program emerged from them. When researchers try to replace Piaget’s findings, they usually can’t. In the endless nitpicking about Piaget’s and Kohlberg’s theories, they have not even taken into account how parents teach their children to respond to the instruction, "Be fair," and what they find as the most effective moral guidance at different ages.

Choice of natural or psychological approach to morality

Michael Schulman’s and Eva Mekler’s book on the morality of children, A New Approach for Teaching Your Child to be Kind, Just and Responsible, provides research on how parents can raise a moral child. They drew three foundation stones of dealing with moral issues in the family. One, is the INTERNALIZING of parental standards of right and wrong. The answer to parents’ questions of "How can I get my child to follow moral rules?" is a psychological process. The constant rules of "Share your toys," "Don’t hit," and "Consider other people’s feelings" enable the child to distinguish right from wrong (not merely to obey his parents so as to avoid punishment).

Second, developing EMPATHY and AFFECTION towards others. Empathy appears to be an inborn capacity especially during the first six years as observed by the family and preschool teachers. Infants, toddlers and preschoolers are lovable. They interact spontaneously with their age group in friendly terms, which include "quarrels" over toys. A feeling of guilt develops when both cry. Adults intervene and make them share.

Third, the ACQUISITION OF A PERSONAL STANDARD of right and wrong. This finally happens when the child independently chooses to behave fairly and no longer depends on the approval of the adults.

Schulman and Mekler cite three age groups of children: Early Childhood of birth to age five, Middle Childhood of five to 12, and Adolescence, no age defined. As a parent’s guide, it may be confusing because the behavioral changes or unique character of each age group is not well defined.

The variety of childhood experiences, though, are so real and so vividly recorded. In Early Childhood, they cite the common anxieties of young parents as "over-responding to an infant’s cry," "instilling good supermarket behavior," or "the impulsive habit of saying ‘No! No! Do not climb the stairs… Do not eat the cockroach,’ etc!" and "describe the ways to redirect the kids to good."

Discovering the ‘God-child’ during childhood

Yet examples are so infinite that parents may consider child-rearing more of a burden than a joy. Dr. Maria Montessori thinks that the children’s act of misbehavior are as numerous as the many fragments of a broken mirror, each piece reflecting only one cause – DEVIATION from the "normal" way children should act.

Dr. Montessori advises adults to understand the true nature of the child as he goes through three transformation phases before maturity. Every child’s mental and physical energy should be conditioned to unite into a SYNTHETIC energy. All the broken pieces of the mirror can miraculously be made WHOLE again through one solution: WORK in a PREPARED ENVIRONMENT.

How does this miracle happen? The first six years is characterized by the Absorbent mind. The Montessori adult (parent or teacher) has to be trained to meet the major needs of these absorbent years – TO MOVE with an intelligent purpose. Indulging a child’s love for water for its sake would end in chaos, whereas redirecting it to a completely equipped small laundry table plus a step-by-step demonstration (13 steps for laundering) will truly allow the child to WORK and not merely play with water. Note that all demonstrations are done in silence by the Montessori trained adult. Three hundred exercises for the three to sixes satisfy the child’s drive to be independent in Practical Life exercises (care of oneself and care for his surroundings), to be an explorer in Sensorial exercises and to learn Language Arts, Math Arts and Cultural Arts.

Since each activity has a purpose, it requires ingredients and procedures just like a RECIPE. The psychological effect of work complete with materials and analyzed steps is the creation of RESPONSIBILITY for each set of tools kept in boxes or trays, OBEDIENCE to each step of the work and disciplined movement. Stammering, quarrelsome habits, laziness and disorder are removed (normalized) within the first month.

The moral period of grade school children

In Middle Childhood, Schulman and Mekler identify grade schoolers as tending to value friendship and possessions, so much so that problems of being shy, quarrelsome and selfish, as well as stealing often happen. Dr. Montessori simplified the observable psychological nature of the six to twelve as the period of ENORMOUS REASONING POWER, MORALITY and the HERD INSTINCT.

The full-time occupation of "becoming" is worked out by the graders’ heightened intelligence. His schoolwork should be so analytical, gradated in difficulty and most exciting. Dr. Montessori’s elementary school COSMIC CURRICULUM is so culture-loaded with many crystal-clear lessons in science, math, language, geography and history. The seven-to-12 age group is readily stimulated. They seldom complain.

This is the age of moral questioning: "Is it fair, Papa? Mama?" "Don’t you think it is wrong of my Kuya Bert to exclude me from the camping trip?" With the age of reason and freewill, Catholic children are trained in grade school to examine their conscience and go to Confession and Holy Communion.

The habit of "getting things done" and finishing the quota of work per week is reinforced by the regular cleaning of the classroom apparata. The constant and spontaneous teamwork inside the class, as well as Scouting projects and sports activities outside the classroom into the community tests his moral judgment. It adhered to the German philosopher Goethe’s maxim: "I saw that the invaluable happiness of liberty consisted – not in doing what one pleases and what circumstances invite you to – but in being able, without hindrance or restraint to do in the direct way what was right and proper."

The child’s independence of moral judgment in stages

The classroom environment of a Montessori preschool child is a smorgasbord of colorful occupations. It allows only good choices of materials and sufficient time to repeat the work. Every 10 to 12 minutes, the three- to five-year-old child makes up his mind on what to do, works with it repetitiously and returns the set of materials to their rightful corner. Result – an independent and joyful worker.

In grade school, there are a total of 210 Language, 206 Math and Geometry, 240 Geography and History, as well as 214 Botany and Zoology lessons. Culture-oriented Music, the Arts, Agronomy, Home Arts, Physical Education and Scouting all reinforce knowledge through practical projects. The product – a free yet disciplined moral gradeschooler.

Children go through many kinds of moral dilemmas, such as whether to report a friend who has done something wrong or whether to risk being a good Samaritan in a dangerous situation. There are no universally right answers to these kind of moral dilemmas. Each individual must find his or her own path. Both home and school can prepare children for these decisions by helping them clarify their goals and appreciate the consequences of the different choices they may make.

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