Inconsistencies tie up Erap on Velarde issue

The Great Skip: Now you know why former President Erap Estrada is desperate to escape, este, skip the Sandiganbayan trial of plunder charges against him. As he himself finally has admitted, he was the fictitious Jose Velarde in whose name unexplained billions had been hidden in the bank.

Having admitted on TV that he signed the bank papers as Jose Velarde, Erap will have to explain where he got the fortune (prosecutors said P3.2 billion went through that Velarde account) despite his declaring under oath a net worth of only P50 million as president of the Republic.

Was his admission in the TV interview a tactical ploy deliberately dropped on media or was it another Erap blooper? Whatever it was, we think his Jose Velarde confession has just complicated his defense.

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Inconsistencies: If we want to see something positive in Erap’s out-of-court confession, it could be that he probably has decided to tell the truth.

But even the supposed truth as it dribbled out of his trembling lips was tied up in inconsistencies:

1. He claimed that he signed as Jose Velarde to guarantee a loan being taken out by a friend, plastics king William Gatchalian. But look at the documents he signed. They were not a loan guarantee but an investment management agreement with the bank.

2. If indeed he was acting as loan guarantor in good faith, his being President would have been the best guarantee. Why did he misrepresent himself and sign as an unknown Jose Velarde?

3. Erap claimed that the bank itself asked him to sign as Jose Velarde to expedite the loan. How come the bank disapproved the deal after receiving the documents bearing his Jose Velarde signature?

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Faster Hearing, Faster Healing: Over the objections of the defense, the Sandiganbayan has put its foot down on holding hearings thrice a week on Erap’s historic cases.

That’s how it should be. The earlier this elephant of a case is disposed of, the better for Erap and the nation. Erap should move on into history faster so this fractured nation could be healed. His lawyers would earn less in a shorter trial, but they should understand.

The best argument for a speedy trial is to afford Erap a chance to clear himself with the least delay. He claims to be innocent, so he should welcome his speedy return to normal life and his going abroad for medical treatment and whatever else.

If we badly need a slogan it is: FASTER HEARING, FASTER HEALING!

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How To Cut Pollution: US-based geologist Manuel C. Diaz has a tested solution to the pollution slowly killing Metro Manila residents. The authorities might want to look at this measure already adopted in many places abroad.

Diaz says: "All we have to do is make it mandatory that our gasoline should be 10-percent ethanol. This ethanol can be produced locally from molasses, a byproduct of our sugar industry. Ethanol is not only an oxygenate but also an octane booster.

"To reduce pollutant from our diesel fuel, all we have to do is add 20-percent ethyl easter. This can be produced from our coconut oil and ethanol alcohol, all locally produced additives.

"We reduce our pollutants in the air and also save our country at least $120 million in fuel imports.

"This program has to be mandated by Congress, because our Department of Energy is nothing but a mouthpiece of the oil industry and surely will oppose this program because it will eat up 20-25 percent of the established petroleum industry market."

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Cock & Cow Items: Our neighbor Jarius Bondoc’s use of cows to explain how the American power giant Enron got into a finance and management mess prompted us to dig into our old mail for an item using cows for descriptive definitions of some terms:

Christian Democrat – You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor. Then you covet it.

Socialist – You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his.

Democrat – You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax.  The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. Barbara Streisand sings for you.

Republican – You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?

Communist – You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.

Fascist – You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage that ultimately blows up the cows.

Capitalism, American Style – You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

Democracy, American Style – You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

Bureaucracy, American Style – You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

American Corporation – You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the second one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts that you have reduced your expenses. Your stock goes up.

French Corporation – You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch. Life is good.

Japanese Corporation – You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce 20 times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

German Corporation – You have two cows. You reengineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

Italian Corporation – You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.

Russian Corporation – You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. You produce your tenth five-year plan in the last three months. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

Swiss Corporation – You have 5,000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing them for others. If they give milk, you tell no one.

Brazilian Corporation – You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American Corporation. Soon you have 1,000 cows. You expropriate them. The American Corporation goes Chapter 11.

Indian Corporation – You have two cows. You worship them.

And we add our own Filipino Corporation: You have two carabaos passed off as cows. You get a loan for a modern dairy farm. With the loan, you buy two luxury vans, go on a junket and pocket the balance. One carabao dies of malnutrition, you cut up the carcass and sell the meat as imported Australian beef. Tying up with an NGO on the remaining carabao, you get United Nations funding for a research project on improving the breed. The funds end up improving your lifestyle. You finally sell the carabao on the sly, and blame the government for not capturing the cattle rustlers roaming the land.

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Doorstep Preaching: Is it legal to ban door-to-door solicitations of religious sects without a government permit? Is it an infringement of the constitutional guarantee of religious freedom?

In the small village of Stratton, Ohio, the Church of Jehovah’s Witnesses has sued local authorities who had passed an ordinance prohibiting all forms of door-to-door solicitation without a permit.

Jevohah’s Witnesses claimed that the Bible requires them to go door to door to preach the gospel. They said they don’t need the permission of anybody to take religion to other people’s doorsteps.

Mormons and other religious groups, as well as the American Civil Liberties Union, are backing the Witnesses’ court challenge. But there are other municipal groups supporting the ordinance as fair.

A federal court has upheld the ordinance. The Supreme Court is expected to rule by July on the church’s appeal of the lower court’s ruling.

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