Lessons Learned from Karla, Sarah and Kristine on Motherhood
MANILA, Philippines — Karla Estrada, Sarah Lahbati and Kristine Hermosa recently opened up about their views and experiences of motherhood. One common thing with these celebrities is how gratitude, faith and putting their children first are super important in their journey as moms.
If you were to ask Karla, she would say that if there’s one decision she made right, it’s her children. Obviously, they are her pride and joy, and when asked how she made sure her kids are united, loving and close to each other, the TV5’s “Face to Face” host told The STAR, “Love. Kasi sa akin lahat lumaki. And ‘di naman ‘yan sikreto na, four different fathers sila. But the fathers are years yung pinagsamahan and each father, talagang relationship yun, wala lang akong swerte because of course, kailangan ko din i-acknowledge yung matigas din ang ulo ko at that time.”
She continued, “I’m very workaholic, wala akong time, and siguro yun muna ang kapalaran ngayon. But hindi kasi ako naniniwala na ang hindi magandang kapalaran ay kapalaran mo. May mga pagkakataon na nangyayari sa buhay natin… minsan hindi dahilan ay ikaw, minsan (circumstances), tapos yung family mo, kailangan mong tumulong, ‘di ba? So, yes, circumstances.
“But sa lahat ng pinagdaanan ko, lahat ng mali na naging decision ko, ang mga anak ko lang ang tama.”
Her greatest fulfillment as a mom is seeing her kids learning from life’s experiences. She stressed that all challenges ultimately lead to something positive.
“Ang fulfillment ko lagi ang makita yung mga anak ko na kahit may mga pagsubok ay natututo sila. With my kids, lagi kong sinasabi na always be grateful. Lahat ng mga nangyayari sa buhay natin, lahat ng sacrifice, lahat ng pagsubok, ang laging kapalit niyan ay maganda. So, let’s just be grateful… Bago ka matulog magpasalamat ka sa Diyos kasi hindi lahat nabibigyan ng pagkakataon meron tayo,” she said.
For her, it’s not enough to be grateful, she also wants her kids to be generous. She believes that helping others also attracts blessings.
“‘Wag magdadalawang isip na tumulong kasi hindi ka mabibigyan ng blessings kung madamot ka. Laging handa tumulong para maging pass-through ka ng blessing. Idadaan lahat sayo ng Diyos dahil yun naman talaga ang gusto Niya, makita kang giver ka, generous ka. Kahit sabihin nilang inaabuso ka na, ‘di mo na sagutin yun. Magtitira ka lang lagi ng para sayo at the end of the day,” she said.
“Simple lang tinuturo ko, I don’t want to complicate it. Hindi ako masyado… ‘Alam mo, ‘pag nakisama ka, dapat ganito.’ Wala akong mga ganun.”
Karla also hopes for her kids to be true to themselves and not to live according to others’ expectations because it won’t lead to happiness. “And compassion, anak, dapat lagi kang naawa. Bago ka magalit tingnan mo muna anong meron ka para ma-appreciate mo yung buhay,” she added.
She likewise acknowledged her own challenges as a mother to a young superstar like Daniel, but her only wish for him is to prioritize his peace and happiness.
“Always choose your peace. Kung saan ka masaya and wala kang tinatapakan, okay ka d’yan. Hindi bawal magkamali kasi walang taong hindi nagkakamali. Ang importante lagi tayong natututo sa bawat pagkakamali natin,” Karla said, also explaining why she has not publicly taken up the cudgels for her son for whatever issue. “Hindi mo matuturuan ang anak mo kung lagi kang nasa tabi niya.”
For Kristine, who stepped back from showbiz to embrace motherhood, having a large family is a gift despite its challenges.
Expecting her sixth child with husband Oyo Boy Sotto, she told The STAR in a separate interview, “I’m very blessed to have lots of children and napaka-mabubuting mga bata. Dun pa lang sa fact na, yun nga, binigyan ako ni Lord ng kapasidad to raise children, like what I have now, sobrang blessing po yun. And yung dami ng anak, yes it’s a blessing. Plus pa yung mabubuting mga bata.”
Talking more about her growing family, she said, “Masaya! Madaming challenges pero alam mo na lagi kang may kasama.”
What she has observed is that her kids no longer rely on toys for entertainment as they have their siblings to play with. As for parenting and running their household, it isn’t her solo responsibility but a team effort with her husband.
Kristine said, “We’re very hands-on, both Oyo and I. Bad cop or good cop, we work together. Kumbaga team kami ni Oyo, walang iwanan sa ere.”
This includes the decision to homeschool their kids. “We like it that way,” she said.
“Na-surprise nga ako, sabi ko, wow, parang okay naman pala sila because other people keep telling us na baka yung social (skills)... kasi nga homeschool din sila, so baka daw medyo mag-alangan, ganyan. But I said, I don’t see any (problem) naman. They’re okay when they are with other kids or other people. They communicate, some are just a bit shy but they talk when you talk to them... meron naman outgoing naman. Like you can talk to them anytime you want. Ma-entertain sila (they like to entertain).”
While homeschooling is not exactly a breeze, Kristine believes that “lahat naman ng hirap, there’s a reward in the end.”
“So, nakakaraos naman. Masaya kami ng ganun kaysa sa makita namin yung mga anak namin na nag-iiba yung ugali because of the environment,” she noted.
“And with the trend these days, I said, I’d rather have them at home na lang and ‘di ba talagang tutukan mo yung paglaki kasi once malalaki na yan, buo na yan.”
Kristine also believes that she has been equipped by God to have a big family. “Ever since talaga parang prinepare na ni Lord yung heart ko for a big family. That has been my desire ever since really to have a big family,” she said.
“Grabe yung grace na binibigay ni God eh. I’m not perfect. May mga days na down na ako, may mga days na syempre pagod tayo, yung hormones natin (going) up and down… but at the end of the day, mas pinipili ko pa rin to have kids, where I am, alam mo yun? Grabe lang talaga yung grace, yung love, yung binibigay sayo ni God. He will really make you strong each day, if it’s His will.”
For Sarah, it was also faith and her family that kept her strong when she became a single mom.
Currently, she’s back working full-time as female lead in the TV5-Viva afternoon series “Lumuhod Ka Sa Lupa” after being mainly a stay-at-home mom for a long time.
“The biggest adjustment would be being away from my kids. From being there every single day, morning till night time, now, I tape two to three times a week. So that’s the biggest adjustment. I miss them a lot when I’m at work, but thanks to technology, I get to talk with them,” Sarah told this paper in an one-on-one chat.
Even when it came to preps for her showbiz comeback, it still had to do with her kids. “It was more like a mental thing, hyping myself up and encouraging myself to be strong, especially when I miss the kids and I’m away from home. It gets hard, when it’s like 12 midnight or 1 a.m., and you’re still at work. So, it was more of like a pep talking myself into saying, you know, you can do this. You’ve done this before.”
“It is very nice to be able to do what I want to do in terms of working, because I feel that I have the right to, (my kids are) 10 years old and six years old,” she further said about resuming her career.
Sarah, nevertheless, admitted to experiencing bouts of “mom guilt” every time she leaves for work and returns home to find them already sleeping.
“There is some sense of guilt once in a while, which crushes my heart. But then, you know, it’s about reminding myself that I’ve always, always been there for them since they were in my stomach,” she shared.
“And whenever I can, I make up for lost time, and that’s it. I can’t keep putting myself down.”
How is she handling this new balancing act of motherhood and career? Sarah said, “Time management, for sure. Sometimes, it gets really chaotic and I wonder how I can manage to do it all, but then when I organize my month, my weeks, my days in advance, everything goes smoothly. And then, of course, I’m very grateful for the help of my mom who’s there, with the kids, when I’m at work. So, yeah, time management and my family.”
Sarah also found strength in faith and spirituality amid issues in her personal life. “Definitely, it was the worst year of my life last year. And it’s just recently that I’m feeling much better. I’m actually happier. And I’m not going to say it’s because, you know, I’m working and all these blessings, of course,” she said.
“I’ll go back to thanking God. As corny or cheesy as it sounds, my faith and my spirituality are something that I really held onto hard when I was at my lowest and I still go back to when I’m up. It also helps that I’m busy working. But even if I wasn’t, I’d say that I’m much happier today.”
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