'The doctor is in and out... in and out...'
Nobel prize-winning pharmacologist Robert Furchgott, whose work with the gas nitric oxide helped develop the anti-impotency drug Viagra, died in Seattle at the age of 92. He “furchgott” to breathe? Nope. Basta NANIGAS na lang s’ya!
* * *
And speaking of tigas, ASTIG pa rin sa news hanggang ngayon and people are still talking about the “plight of KAT-HAY” — ooops, sounds like an airline service. No again. This one’s about the “secret service” which, accidentally or by some other reason, became open to public viewing which involved a doctor and a “doctored” celebrity.
The others in this “shooting incident” were not “doctored”, but they were definitely thoroughly checked up physically by the doctor. All the ladies underwent a complete “sexecutive” check up — including a triple X-ray!
Here is one doctor who is always in and out!
Better if we just call it HAY-KAT — at least tunog sapatos lang. KAT-HAY sounds “abattoirish” — parang slaughter. Could it be that for this doctor, slaughter is the best medicine?
But actually, this is how most men call these secret places in their macho lingo — KATAYAN—where they INTER-tain their lady guests — also their BEDquarters (pwede ring HEADquarters pala) or their ORIFICIAL residence! Ngek!
* * *
Here are the basic requirements of a simple but okey lang na Pokpok Arts Theater ( “theater” inasmuch as some of the performances are open to the public): Bed, air-con and refrigerator.
Other needs: Lots of towels, mouthwash, chewing gum and candies and of course, other toiletries.
Not so important things (pwedeng wala): Television and telephone.
This “aircontroversy” (ang dami kasing shots ng air-con sa sex video na pinag-uusapan) cut short the popularity in the news of the Pacman Flu and the alleged Martin Nievera Fluff in singing our National Anthem — the Department of Health’s failure to quarantine Team Pacquiao and the National Historical Institute’s order to quaran-TUNE Martin!
Aling Dionisia’s ballroom dancing was suddenly overshadowed by HAY-KAT dancing — with balls — in a room!
* * *
When asked if they learned a lesson from this recent sex video scandal, a young woman even furnished this writer with the following sure-fire tips for girls in case they encounter a doctor of medi-CINE — now you know why a doctor like Dr. No Pants loves to make movies — the word “medicine” ends with CINE.
One: If you finally decide to have sex with your boyfriend, just be sure you do it with the lights out.
Two: In case you are afraid of the dark, do a “Sadako” like in the horror movie The Ring. Let your hair down all the time. Para hindi kayo masyadong makilala.
And Three: Request your lover to call you by another name.
* * *
Basilio: Bakit ba sa Camara (House of Representatives/Congress) inilalapit ang kasong ito tungkol sa sex videos?
Crispin: Eh kasi, ang pinag-uusapan dito ay KAMA at CAMERA!
* * *
Kat: “Binaboy n’ya ako!”
Foreign Correspondent: Excuse me, please translate that in English.
Kat: “Ah... he SWINED me!”
* * *
The actress-victim’s name speaks and carries the message of what took place in that one-set shooting — HALI-HALILI SILA SA KATRE!
* * *
Doctor Zhivago: Si Doc ba talaga ang nasa video?
Doctor Kildare: KHO MISMO!
* * *
Padre Salvi: Manny Pacman is the Pound for Pound King.
Padre Damaso: Hayden F...man is the Pound NANG Pound King.
* * *
A great deal of those who watched the sex videos of the “Medical Director” find the acts swift and short; medyo bitin daw sila. Doctor Do Little?
* * *
Lap dancing is now outmoded. After the coming out of these HAY-KAT videos, a new dance craze was introduced — LAPTOP DANCING!
* * *
Said one indie movie supporter, “Nawalan ng ingay ang pagbabalik ni Brillante Mendoza, ang nanalong director sa Cannes Film Festival sa France sa pelikulang Kinatay — tinalo kasi ng ingay ng KAT-HAY.”
* * *
Hoy! Tigilan n’yo muna ‘yang mga sex videos. Manuod muna kayo ng Joey’s Quicky, este Quirky pala... World before S.O.P on GMA 7. And Wow, Mali tonight at 6 p.m. on TV5.
May the force be video.
- Latest
- Trending
