One husband, 3 wives

Some things you talk about only in whispers, or in dark corners of a dimly-lit room. Polygamy is one of them.

Yet we see them around us, taunting us, teasing us about sinful pleasures, stolen moments.

But instead of treating polygamy like some sacred cow, HBO’s new series Big Love (premieres tonight at 11) brings it out in the open. It shows the laughter, the foibles, the drama, only three households with one husband and three wives can have.

 And it does it so well Big Love has an Emmy and Golden Globe nomination under its belt.

On the surface, Bill Henrickson (Bill Paxton) seems to be the ideal family man. He’s religious and hard-working and wants only the best for his brood.

Too good to be true? Actually. The catch is he has three wives, Barb (Jeanne Tripplehorn), Nicki (Chloe Sevigny) and Margene (Ginnifer Goodwin). The trio gives him seven children and three homes to maintain.

The sticky situation gets messier when the bills pile up, Bill rotates homes and his parents enter the picture.

Stage-movie actress Goodwin should know. As the third and youngest wife, Margene is written off as inexperienced and unreliable. After all, how can you prevail over mature first wife Barb and angst-filled second wife Nicki?

You can’t, especially when your character is only 21 and raised in a small Colorado town.

“Margene Huffman is a 13-year-old trapped inside a young woman’s body,” Goodwin sizes up her character in the HBO series.

This youthfulness makes her fun, even if she gets into trouble. And Goodwin won’t exchange her role for any other part in the series.

She didn’t go to the set — her first time for HBO — unprepared, though. Doing a role blind is a mortal sin for this seasoned actress whose next film assignment is with the likes of Jennifer Connelly, Jennifer Aniston and Scarlett Johansson.

“I didn’t know there was this alternative lifestyle in America,” says Goodwin. “So I started out with theology then moved on to researching how and why women who are not raised in that (polygamous) lifestyle come to this kind of lifestyle.”

She buried herself in essays and letters from women engaged in polygamy. And while her moral compass does not point to polygamy as a lifestyle, Goodwin began to see it in a different light.

After having played Margene for years, Goodwin concludes that “if a polygamous family or community can practise polygamy while following American law, I will support it.”

Supporting polygamy is not the point of Big Love, however. Yes, it shows the offshoots of polygamy — like babies as young as three months and children, the eldest of whom is four years old.

It shows the domestic chaos that ensues when one juggles household chores with baby-related tasks. Or when the third wife catches hubby talking with the woman he married before her.

The point of the series will surprise you. It is — ironically — about the family, at least to Goodwin.

 “I think our show always comes back to people who love each other, who are truly good to each other and are good for each other. We’re talking about family about whom many people will have reservations,” she explains.

No matter where you go and what heights you reach, you will always return to your family, the way Bill did, for support. When push comes to shove — when sickness strikes, for instance — the family, as the Henricksons show, rally around each other.

Some may raise their eyebrows at how a second, even a third family is tolerated. This, Goodwin knows.

But she says that if this set-up will make us appreciate the family more, maybe we could take a second look.

Debatable? Perhaps.

Probably the best solution for now is to watch Big Love and see for ourselves what she’s talking about.

Big Love is Sopranos minus the guns; Six Feet Under without the embalming. How’s that for raising the curiosity factor 10 times over?