The Showbiz Gospel According to John

Alone but not lonely.

That classic cliché, says John Estrada, best describes his present state of being.

He has broken up with Vanessa del Bianco, who has retreated into a quiet life in her native Canada, far from the maddening crowd, after a few years of long-distance romance punctuated by rendezvous in L.A. or in Manila. His ex-wife, Janice de Belen (with whom he has four children), is rumored to be marrying her new love, highlighting and heightening John’s sense of aloneness. He lives alone (so he says) in a well-appointed condo unit in Mandaluyong City, painted largely in white as if to color his present romance slate — look, no record!

Asked how a highly-desirable bachelor like him copes with, ehem, lonely nights (if he has any), John says, "I manage," jokingly swinging both hands in the air, singing, "I have two hands, the left and the right..."

Every now and then, since he and Vanessa (who was here two years ago to resume her rudely-interrupted career via a short-lived ABS-CBN dance show) broke up almost a year ago, John would be sighted in upscale hotspots like the controversial The Embassy where his chance encounter with reported former "fling" Heart Evangelista provoked Heart’s boyfriend Jericho Rosales into a confrontation with John that nearly ended in a fistfight during a movie premiere. The two gentlemen have smoked the peace pipe, letting bygones be bygones.

It was also at The Embassy where John found himself on the night Borgy Manotoc and Bong Alvarez clashed (cooler heads intervened, thank heavens!) when Bong mistook Borgy’s girlfriend Ornussa Cadness for a waitress. John happened to be with Bong’s group. In another group that same night was Mylene Dizon, who has broken up with boyfriend Paolo Paraiso (father of Mylene’s two-year-son Tomas), and the rumor-mongers put two and two together and concluded that Bong was with Bing Loyzaga (in the same group with Mylene), and Mylene and John were "secret" dates.

"Not guilty," smiles John.

"Not true," insists Mylene who, by coincidence, has been living for four years now in a condo unit a scream away from John’s.

Basically a tight-lipped guy (read: he doesn’t kiss-and-tell), John is opening up for the first time, freely talking about Janice, Vanessa and other "strangers" besides.

Here’s the showbiz gospel according to John:

You and Janice are friends now, right?

"Yeah. All of my ‘exes.’ quote-unquote, are my friends."

Friends confide in each other. Are you and Janice like that?

"We talk only about our children, but not our personal lives."

In most showbiz break-ups, there’s bitterness before the un-couple become friends again. At what point did you realize that you have to be friends again?

"You’re right. Most break-ups are followed by bitterness. I won’t deny that that happened to me and Janice. But it shouldn’t be that way especially if there are children involved. Otherwise, things would be easier. You can just part ways and stop talking to each other and lead your respective new lives. But if you have children, it’s hard especially for them if you and your ‘ex’ are not on speaking terms."

You and Janice have four.

"Yes. Ynah, 15; Moira, 13; Kyla, 11; and Yuan, 8."

It’s good that there’s no more bitterness or resentment between you and Janice.

"I won’t say that we are super-close, huh. I’m happy that she now picks up the phone when I call. Before, I suspect that she would think hard before she would even answer my call. But now, anytime I want to talk to her about the children, she’s always there. We exchange ideas on how to deal with the children because mayroon na kaming 15-year-old, may dalagita na kami. We would tell each other, ‘Iba na umasta ang mga anak natin, ano?’"

What kind of advice do you give especially to Moira, your dalagita?

"Actually, I ask Janice for pieces of advice before I give them to Moira. But I see to it that I act not just a father but also a friend to my children so they can be comfortable with me in discussing even their personal lives, para open sila sa akin."

Have you ever mentioned Vanessa to Janice, even in passing?

"No. Never. As I said, we never discuss our private lives, only things concerning our children."

How’s Janice as a friend?

"Wala akong masabi. She’s a good friend, she’s a good mom. She has brought up our kids very well."

What about visitation? Can you visit the children anytime you want to?

"I don’t have any problem with that. I can see my children as often as I can. Okay lang kay Janice, and I’m thankful to her for that. They can even sleep at my place every now and then."

What about support for the children?

"I give the children a monthly allowance which includes pang-grocery. I pay for their tuition fees and medical needs. These are among the terms in our annulment case."

You’re known to be a good provider. You’re even a perfect foster father to Iggy Boy (Janice’s son by Aga Muhlach).

"I treat Iggy Boy like my own child. He was just a small boy when Janice and I got married."

Janice is free and so are you. There are reports that Janice is getting married to her new love, although Janice has denied it.

"I heard them, too — as early as two years ago. But I never asked her about it. That’s her life. That’s none of my business."

Janice said that if ever she decides to marry again, the whole world will hear it from her and not from the grapevine.

"She’s right. If ever, I’d be very happy for her."

Would you agree to be the Best Man, if ever?

(Laughs) "Why not? If ever..."

How would you react if Janice would personally tell you, "John, I’m getting married?"

"I’d tell her, ‘Go, go, go! Go for gold! I’ve never met the guy but in fairness mabait daw siya according to my children. Gusto siya ng mga anak ko."

I heard that Janice is so in love with the guy that she even converted to his religion?

"That’s her decision and I respect that. Siguro ganoon nga niya kamahal ‘yung guy."

Would you maintain the same friendship with Janice and when she does get married?

"Of course. For the sake of the children. But perhaps, since the guy would be my children’s stepfather, Janice and I should iron a few things out especially as far as the way he would deal with the children. I guess every (biological) father feels the same way. And besides, I’ve never been remiss in my duties and obligations as a father. But I’m thankful na inaalagaan niyang mabuti ang mga anak ko."

In hindsight, where do you think you went wrong in your relationship?

"I don’t know. I guess may mga pagkukulang din ako. No relationship, no marriage, is perfect. Maybe it just so happened that Janice and I were not meant to be together for life.

Janice has a new love and you are loveless. I understand that you and Vanessa have also parted ways, ‘no?

"Yeah. For almost a year now."

One year? How do you cope with lonely nights?

"You know, I’m focused on my work. It may sound corny but I may be alone but I’m never lonely."

Do you still communicate with Vanessa?

"I’d rather not talk about it. All I can say is that she’s done with showbiz, ayaw na talaga niya sa showbiz, and she’s happy with her quiet life in Toronto."

Was your parting a mutual decision?

"Yes. She wanted out, so...She didn’t want to be in showbiz anymore and I respect her decision."

But you remain friends, maybe?

"Text-text every now and then. once in a while, pero ‘yung once in a while na ‘yon mabibilang mo na lang."

So what’s your status now, available and looking?

(Laughs again) "Single as a Scotch. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Looking? No. Available? Why not? But I believe the saying that you don’t have to look. If it’s yours, it will come; kapag sa’yo, darating at darating sa’yo."

Are you better off unattached?

"I guess so. This is the first time that I am not into a relationship...the longest time. One year! The longest time since I was a teenager."

What are the qualities that you now want in a girl?

(Laughs some more) "‘Yung simple lang. Di bale maganda basta mayaman. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! I’m not choosy. Seriously now, the common denominator of all the girls I’ve had a relationship with that is, they’re all smart. Lahat sila may utak. Yeah, silang dalawa." (Referring to Janice and Vanessa. — RFL)

With Janice, what’s the one thing that you can’t forget about her?

"She’s a good cook, that’s No. 1. No, that’s No. 2. I think No. 1 is her being loving. Pag nagmahal si Janice, todo-todo. All or nothing at all."

Some showbiz couples reconcile after many years and after a few other partners (Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, and Eddie Mesa and Rosemarie Gil are among the best examples). Is it a possibility in your and Janice’s case?

"It’s not as simple as that. But definitely, if before I didn’t meddle in her personal affairs, the more I shouldn’t do it now that she has a new love, a new life."

(Note: For John Estrada’s full "confession," watch the episode entitled Bitter Partners, Better Friends of The Ricky Lo Exclusives on Wednesday, March 21, 8:30 to 9:30 p.m. on QTV 11. Other couples featured include Joey Marquez and Alma Moreno, Mylene Dizon and Paolo Paraiso, and Mo Twister and Bunny Paras.)

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