Sorry, no vacancy at GMA... maybe at Channel 11?

I would like to stress here that I am just a mere talent of GMA 7 and that I have no control over the hiring and firing of people there.

I thought I needed to point that out because I’m now swamped with requests from friends and friends of friends to find them employment in Channel 7 – as if I own the station.

To begin with, I hardly know what’s going on within the network because I’m only there once a week – every Saturday from 2:30 to 4:30 p.m. – to do Startalk. If ever I have to do VTR interviews, I go on location and don’t even bother to drop by the studio.

I therefore am not aware if there is a vacancy or if there is a position up for grabs in the station.

This week, however, I decided to finally ask around because I feel like I have to go back to my normal life and stop hiding from friends asking for favors. (It’s either I find them work – preferably in GMA 7 – or I lend them money to tide them over while they are out of work.)

My first stop, of course, is my turf – the talk show department. No, there is no vacancy in Startalk. In fact, since I joined this show five years ago, there were very few additions to the production staff – safe for Arlene, James and Jewel. The Startalk staff is basically a solid group. Most of them had been here since the time of Boy Abunda and Kris Aquino.

From Startalk, I moved to Ricky Lo and Melanie Marquez’s Showbiz Stripped, which will have its second episode tonight after Idol Ko Si Kap. Aha! This is a new program. The show must need new people. Sorry, says Agnes Suriaga. Showbiz Stripped is a rather tough show to mount and they can only count on veterans to man the program – which means it is also being run by the same (old) people who do Startalk.

From talk shows, I moved to news and public affairs – in I-Witness. Nope. Still no vacancy.

In my desperation, I decided to call up GMA 7’s amiable Vice President of Human Resources, Dexter Mendoza to find out if there is any vacancy at all within the network. (On-the-job training applicants, forget it. The station is not accepting OJTs at the moment).

It turned out that there were really no vacancies in the production department (which runs entertainment programs like SOP, Darna, Startalk, S-Files, etc.) or even in the news and public affairs division (Saksi, 24 Oras, Reporter’s Notebook, I-Witness, etc.) Otherwise, there would have been a request for HRD to send people to those departments, says Mr. Mendoza. But so far, there’s none. Unless individual shows decided to hire people straight on a contractual basis – without passing through the Human Resources Department because that is also possible. But then, I had that covered because I went from show to show to check, remember?

The good news, according to Dexter Mendoza is that GMA 7’s sister station, Channel 11, will start operations within the year and at the moment they need to hire new people – primarily in the engineering department. Graduates of Electronic and Communications Engineering are therefore welcome to apply.

Another position that is open is for audio/video editors and those qualified here are Mass Communications/Fine Arts graduates, graphic artists, or anybody good at computers.

A third position available is for music researches and here graduates of Conservatory of Music or anybody who is good at music are preferred.

Oh yes, there is another slot available – for master electrician. No, your neighborhood electrician who troubleshoots busted fuse boxes and alters house wirings won’t do. There is a two-year vocational course for this and GMA 7 will only hire people who have the certificate to show that they indeed went to school to undergo training in this field.

Those interested in any of the positions stated above may go to the Human Resources department at the 10th floor of GMA 7 in EDSA and submit their bio-data to Kristine, Marose or Rachel. They will be asked to take an exam and if they pass, only then will they be called for an interview. After that will come the final selection – so good luck.

Okay, so there are positions available in GMA 7. Unfortunately for my friends, these are backroom designations and therefore won’t allow them to rub elbows with the likes of Richard Gomez, Angel Locsin and Richard Gutierrez and the StarStruck winners. That won’t do for my friends who are all social climbers and name-droppers.

So what am I going to do? Wait, I know what. On Monday, I’m going to the Securities and Exchange Commission and start considering putting up my own employment agency since all I do now is find work for other people anyway.

You know what, I have a feeling this business is going to be far more lucrative than hosting a show and writing this column.