Eddie Gil under his peluka

If Eddie Gil, the "great president" (as he claimed) the Philippines never had, is as rich as he makes the world believe he is, how come he can’t buy a decent wig?

That was the first question Funfare asked the man (no relation to Rosemarie Gil and STAR columnist Baby Gil) during a chance encounter one rainy day at a teahouse on Timog Street in Quezon City.

As thunder and lightning made a symphony of scary sounds with the driving rain, I half-expected Eddie to break into an a capella rendition of his song Pelukang Itim (composed by Bert Dominic; carrier single of Eddie’s album, Pinoy Idol, released by Alpha Music). His mouth was full of the Chinese goodies laid out before us, so he didn’t. Thank heavens for tender mercies.

You and I may not take him seriously (as the presidentiable barred from running in the elections or as a singer) but he is, believe it or not, very serious in whatever he ventures into. At least, he seemed to be.

He has been imagining himself to be "the only President" who could solve the tidal wave of problems which could sweep us into an ocean of further misery but, you wonder, has he ever imagined himself to be a singer? "I’ve always wanted to be like my favorite singers," he said, his eyes disappearing into slits as he smiled, "like Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and Matt Monro."

But his debut single – yes, Pelukang Itim – calls attention not so much to whatever Sinatra or Martin or Monro lies dormant in his vocal cords as to the deadly-weapon-looking wig that has become his trademark (have you seen that Eddie Gil clone in a new TV commercial?).

Oh, yes, the peluka.

Believe it or not but Eddie has more than a hundred in his collection, in different shapes and sizes.

"I use some," he said in his heavily-Visayan-accented Tagalog, "but I give the others away to people in need. I collect wigs, galing sa iba’t-ibang bansa. Mayroong galing sa Hong Kong, mayroong galing sa Bangkok."

Arnel Ignacio, who manufactures wigs and wears a real-looking one (look, Ma, medyo windblown pa!), made one for Eddie but he never used it.

"Hindi kasi niya sinunod ang instructions ko, e."

Besides peluka, he also collects colorful Barong Tagalogs, his favorite being the rainbow-hued one.

"I have more than 1,000 barongs, all Philippine-made. I haven’t even worn many of them. Nandoon lang sa aparador, nakatago."

That morning of our chance encounter, there was a report that a warrant of arrest had been issued against Eddie who had been accused of several crimes (estafa, non-payment of hotel bills, etc.), so I was sure that any moment cops would barg into the teahouse and haul him away in handcuffs...singing Pelukang Itim in falsetto?

Somebody gently warned me not to ask Eddie anything about politics or he would launch into an endless diatribe. Suffice it to say that, even if he was dropped from the race, he hasn’t conceded to anybody.

Is his showbiz career for good or only for kicks?

"Seryoso ako. Lahat ng kita ko ilalagay ko sa foundation ko."

Pelukang Itim, in case you haven’t heard, is now being made into a movie in which Eddie plays a secret agent, with no less than Eddie Garcia as his villain. Brace yourselves for a comedy that will drive you to tears.

Did he like being paired with Madame Auring?

He shook his head. And then laughed and laughed.

Isn’t he including in the cast Pilar Pilapil and Eddie Ilarde who joined his party ‘s senatorial line-up and later "abandoned ship?"

"Ayoko," he said, "dahil sa ginawa nila."If ever he and Pilar would do a movie, what roles would they play?

"Ako ang bida, siya ang maid ko o kaya nanay ko."

What about Eddie Ilarde?

"Siya ang bodyguard ko."

A puzzle. A clown. A passing fancy. A big joke. Eddie Gil in the eyes of the public is all of the above – and more.

Asked to describe the real Eddie Gil, ang lalaki sa ilalim ng pelukang itim, he simply said, "Rapist daw ako, kidnapper daw ako, mayroon daw ako one hundred warrants. Basta ang alam ko, mabait ako."

Six Feet Under Promo Quiz

The final season of HBO’s original series Six Feet Under will premiere the last of two episodes on Aug. 3 at 9 p.m. To hype up the series before the finale, Funfare and HBO are conducting a joint quiz promo. Easy does it: Simply answer the set of questions Funfare will be publishing every now and then and e-mail your entries to [email protected]; subject: Philippine STAR-HBO SFU contest.

The first five senders of the correct answers will each receive a copy of the SFU book (very nice; "collectible"). Participants must answer all the questions (three sets each) based on 11 episodes. They should write their complete name, address and contact numbers. (Call 725-7891, 727-5251 or 726-5132 up to 30 for inquiries.)

And here’s the eighth and last set of questions (for Episode 311 aired last July 21, with a replay soon):

• What does Margaret Chenowith throw off her balcony?

1. Billy’s pictures

2. Her husband’s ashes

3. A bag of marijuana

• What is the rent on Brenda’s new apartment?

1. $175 a week

2.$250 a week

3.$300 a week

• Based on the credit card information, where did Lisa stop for gas?

1. San Diego

2. Malibu

3. Santa Barbara

(E-mail reactions at [email protected])