Smiling despite the pain

In the beginning, I have to admit that among the male Starstruck survivors, I found Rainier Castillo to be the least impressive. He is short at 5’4" and doesn’t have the classic demigod-like features of most matinee idols. The only thing going for him was his F4 hairstyle, which even then was on its way out. But to my surprise, he was the most popular among the girls.

It was only lately that I began to appreciate his potentials as star material.

(This proves all the more that I can never be a talent manager because I don’t have the ability to spot aspiring stars with the so-called X factor.)

As I said in my column last week when I wrote about Jennylyn Mercado, his strength lies in his looking weak and helpless. He looks innocent, even bumbling – the little boy lost who needs to be guided and protected. Girls with nurturing instincts would surely love to cuddle and caress him. And yes, that smile – as wide as Manila Bay – is enough to charm the skirts off most women.

Even when I sat down to interview him for Startalk late last week, the show’s female staff members were all drawn to him – babying him even. They fixed his shirt and taught him the proper way to sit on his chair – all the while ignoring their host who had to put in an extra day of work to do this interview because their beloved Rainier couldn’t make it to the studio during Startalk’s live telecast last Saturday. But please, don’t think that I got jealous over all the attention they were pouring on Rainier. The truth is, even my heart went out to him when I realized later on during the interview that behind that killer smile is a sad tale of pain and sadness.

Turning 19 on Oct. 21, Rainier (his name is actually pronounced Rainyey), he was abandoned by his father when he was only three months old. His father, however, didn’t just vanish into thin air after leaving him, his older sister Andrea and their mother. Obviously, he still showed up on important occasions during the early phase of Rainier’s childhood. Still part of Rainier’s mementoes is this picture of him and his father taken on his third birthday.

But he absolutely has no recollection of his father. Sure, as he was growing up, he would periodically ask his mother where his father was – until he himself got tired asking and went on with his life.

In high school – at the Colegio de San Lorenzo in Quezon City – he experienced first love, which lasted only a few months. He claims to have had only three other girlfriends after that.

In between those romantic conquests were serious financial problems that became so serious, he and his sister had to stop schooling when resources ran out. (His mother was out of a job for a long time.)

But Rainier chose not to remain idle. He joined every model search – until he found his way to Starstruck, which he initially mistook as an audition for commercial models.

Now that he has hit the big-time via Starstruck and is earning pretty well, he plans to put his sister back to school and himself, too, if possible. (He was previously enrolled at AMA Computer School when he stopped his studies.)

But there are other skills he has yet to learn – like his singing, acting and especially his dancing. He admits that he is weak in these areas, but is trying his best to hone his craft in order to succeed in this business.

At the moment, he feels that it is the field of acting that he will conquer first. Maybe he can draw some emotion from the pain he felt during those years of deprivation and of growing up without a father. "But I’ve gotten used to the fact that my father was not around," he protests. "It had always been just me, my sister and our Mom."

But for all that brave front he was putting up, I noticed that he was almost on the brink of tears and that he was still hurting inside.

Recently, I got word that his Dad had been found by well-meaning people in show business. The father now stays in Kamias district with his new wife and their three kids aged 18, 15 and 9. But they are migrating to another country soon.

Some quarters had been trying to reunite father and son, but the father politely declined. He has caused his son enough pain and the last thing he wants to do is put his son’s feelings through another emotional rollercoaster ride, which is bound to happen with his sudden appearance in the boy’s life. At least, there is some sense of decency there on the father’s part.

From Rainier’s end, he no longer harbors ill feelings toward his father. When told that his father is migrating with his new family to another country, he just wished them well. To his father ("Papa ba o Dad?" – the boy doesn’t even know how to address him), he said that he wants only the best for him in life – along with his children ("Take care of them – they’re also my siblings") and even his new wife.

The message is said not with indifference, but still with fondness for a father he doesn’t even remember. And it is in this brief message to his father that I saw the goodness in Rainier Castillo’s heart.

It is no wonder that good fortune continues to smile on this Prince of Smiles.