Fatherhood is still a daily lesson for Dingdong

It’s interesting to see a young actor grow up before our very eyes, from appearing as one of several teens in an ensemble cast to being one of the country’s finest and most respected leading men. Today, Dingdong Dantes embodies the qualities of the Filipino gentleman, both on and off screen, as he plays the lead in “The Master Cutter,” which started airing last month on GMA Prime and Netflix.

Shooting the 100-episode series takes up much of his time, but he knew what he was getting into when he accepted the role.

Fortunately, his beautiful wife and acclaimed actress, Marian Rivera, understands how these things work, ably caring for their two school-aged children, Zia and Sixto.

Still, he admitted that fulfilling his fatherly duties is a challenge.

“I’m often out of the house due to work while my wife is the one who spends more time with the kids day to day,” Dingdong said.

On parenting children Zia and Sixto: ‘I want to be their buddy, too. But of course, with boundaries.’

Team work

Despite this, he and Marian work as a team, consulting one another on how the rules and values they implement should be handled.

“I think the goal is always to strike that balance between being a disciplinarian and still keeping that fun element where your children feel comfortable enough to play with you, laugh with you and be themselves around you. Whenever they see you, you want their first feeling to be of joy and not fear,” he said.

Some parents feel that it’s an either-or situation; they can either be strict disciplinarians or friends with their kids — no gray areas. Dingdong sees things differently.

“More than discipline, I believe everything should be anchored on respect and on creating an environment where there’s no fear. Sometimes, when children are raised purely through fear, it limits expression, and expression is such an important part of a child’s development,” he said.

“And honestly, who wouldn’t want to be friends with their children? I definitely do. I want to be their buddy too. But of course, with boundaries. Because at the end of the day, part of being a father is still guiding them and helping prepare them for the real world,” he added.

This fresh take on modern parenting did not occur to him overnight. He credited his way of thinking to an openness to what life brings.

“I used to think that when my second child reached the age my first child had already gone through, I would automatically know exactly what to do. There are hints, of course, and some lessons you carry over, but each child is truly unique,” Dingdong said.

“That’s why even if you already have a parenting style, it shifts and evolves depending on the child and depending on the situation. Honestly, I’m still constantly learning how to become a dad. Every day still feels like a new experience for me.”

Dingdong says he and wife Marian Rivera work as a team, consulting each other on how to implement house rules and impart family values.

Role models

His father is also a role model — one who leads by example. He narrated that growing up “it wasn’t necessarily deliberate or obvious that he was teaching me lessons every day,” adding, “but through his example, through observation, and through the way I unconsciously emulated him, certain values were naturally passed on to me.”

The one lesson his father taught him and that Dingdong has taken to heart is the saying: “Everything comes from the Lord.”

“He would say that whether things are going well or whether life becomes difficult, never forget that everything ultimately comes from Him. It sounds very basic, but I think that’s exactly why it’s so powerful. It keeps me grounded. It reminds me to stay humble during victories and to remain faithful during challenges.

“And until now, it’s one of those lessons I constantly go back to and reflect on, especially as a father myself, because it teaches surrender, gratitude, perspective, and trust all at the same time. As a father, those are values I also hope to pass on to my children.”

It’s obvious by now that Dingdong was raised to give credit where it is due. In fact, he pointed out that he also learned how to be a parent from his mother, elder relatives, and, quite surprisingly, his own children.

“I pay attention to my kids’ reactions, what they appreciate, what they respond to, and even to the moments they don’t respond well to. I treat that as feedback, and I adjust,” he said.

“I think that’s one of the most important parts of parenting. While we try our best to learn how to become good parents along the way, it’s really our children who quietly teach us how to become better ones too.”

Aside from acting, Dingdong has found a niche in hosting.

Gift of presence

Still, Dingdong realizes that the time he spends working means time spent away from his family, and tries to make up for it by being fully present when he’s home. He described his attempts as being “larger than life.” By being “extra demonstrative,” he hopes his children appreciate his presence.

“I exaggerate sometimes… maybe that’s also my way of making up for the time I’m away. I think children appreciate the small nuances more than we realize, whether it’s showing affection, expressing emotions openly, laughing with them, or even allowing them to see vulnerability. Those moments matter,” he explained.

Dingdong further related that sometimes, because of his schedule, he comes home to find the kids asleep, or he leaves early the next day and they’re still asleep. He said it leaves him feeling disconnected. To address this, the Dantes family has identified an activity they can all enjoy together.

“For us, it’s watching movies, eating together, then eventually turning the night into karaoke sessions and little jam sessions at home. I honestly love those moments so much.”

“I used to play the drums when I was younger, so seeing my little boy now playing the drums too is such a surreal but fulfilling feeling. Then his sister would sing, while Marian jumps in with songs from her favorite playlist. We all just naturally fall into this shared rhythm together,” he shared.

Dingdong waxed poetic and likened these family bonding sessions to “souls jamming together… creating a kind of joy that’s hard to explain but something (he) wants to keep chasing as a father and husband.”

Like many Filipino families, the Danteses also bond over food, and as a weekend chef, Dingdong has a captive audience. “Lately, we’ve also been obsessed with chicken wings because I’m a wannabe chef at home, so that has become part of the bonding, too,” he said with a smile.

His kitchen skills might need more honing, but he’s aware that’s not really what matters.

“My ultimate goal as a father is not necessarily to be perfect but to make sure my children always feel that when I’m with them, I’m truly present.”