Spy tips

Chinese nationals Ni Qinhui and Ching Wei have been arrested, reportedly for being spies.  Their names have been trumpeted in newspapers, and their spying activities, allegedly, consisted of targeting Villamor Air Base, some military and police camps, and the American embassy.  Oh, and Malacanang Palace as well.

Well, blow me down.  Who would have thought there was anything to spy on in this country.  I already waxed lyrical on spies and Mayor Alice Guo a few months back, and tried to imagine what a spy occupying a mayoral post would have access to.  Now, these men are accused of spying on our country. Sure, the American embassy might have yielded some major intel for China, but our bases?  What would be inside our camps that would be of interest to China?

The Chinese spies needed exact information on how rickety our pitifully few planes are?  The antiquated choppers that are liable to crash? Or how woefully inadequate our preparations for war exercises are?  Much less actual war?  How our military is, well, not so busy fighting the drug war any longer?

Or is it something more tawdry?  Do they need details of which general is keeping which mistress?   Or which colonel is sleeping with his co-officer? Or are they recruiting young promising officers who have become disenchanted with the system of, well, no system, lots of sloth, and plenty of avarice? The agenda is then blackmail.  Always works!

I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again.  They don’t need spies for that kind of info.  All they need is some smooth talker to butter up the relevant government official, and some dribbles of “aid”.  Like motorcycle donations.  Or sportfest cash prizes.  Our officials just love giving away prizes inveigled from various donors, willing or not.  Makes them look good, and keeps their constituents happy.  Now those vote-hungry crocs would be good targets for pumping information.

The different news outlets relay the same information that the Chinese hired a few Pinoy drivers to wend their way through military and police camps in vehicles equipped with devices that mimic cell site towers. Apparently, these can capture telecommunications data like - gasp - locations of cellphone users!

Does this mean that the spies were trying to figure out the precise location of the President in Malacanang Palace, and the American ambassador at the embassy?  Why would they do that?  So that the spies could launch drone bombs?  How thrilling.  Imagine, that level of sophisticated gadgetry is now in our country.  Or have we been watching too many Jackal movies and reading too many Ukraine-Russia war updates?

Are these particular spies in cahoots with Philippine forces?  Opposition politicians?  Those interested in the whereabouts of President Marcos, and would want him to conveniently disappear?  (I name no names, as it is unnecessary.).

I can think of a few more spying targets though.  What about the ultra-posh Manila Golf Club?  That might be a gold mine with all those bored billionaire golfers chit-chatting their business secrets away.  The exclusive subdivisions of Forbes and Dasmariñas harbor the homes of not just the ultra-wealthy, but ambassadors and expats of every nation.  More countries to listen to?

Or perhaps, the spies could focus on the fashion designers flocking around the First Lady du jour, intent on cladding her with expensive fabrics and padding their pockets with taxpayer cash. Those twittering modistes might snatch a few morsels about the current state of affairs during the never-ending fashion shows inside the Goldenberg Mansion at the Palace. (Shows mounted at no cost to the public, you hear?  Not counting the electricity, the security and the cleaning up, of course.)

Let’s not forget the luxe condominiums now selling at half a mil per square meter.  That’s $10,000 a square meter!  New York prices! Now who can afford those prices?  Only those who have lots of information to yield, and perhaps plenty more to lose.  Do we really need this economic disparity in our midst?  Now those are excellent targets.

Come on China, strike a blow for socialism and bring down the oligarchs.