You know your friends when…

The invitations for the official change of street name from Agham road to Senator Miriam Defensor Santiago Avenue, scheduled for this Saturday morning, have been sent out. To many, the ribbon cutting event may seem like a simple ceremonial requirement, but looking at the program and guest list, the choice of guest of honor is a very strong political and personal statement from Narciso “Jun” Santiago, spouse of “Tita Miriam.”

Vice President Sara Duterte was invited and has agreed to be the guest of honor this coming Saturday for the ribbon cutting ceremony. At a time when politicians and political parties have all but abandoned the VP and her father PRRD, Jun Santiago is clearly being consistent in their support for the Vice President and her family.

Jun Santiago has been very public about supporting VP Sara and consistently states that the Vice President has not committed any crime nor has any congressman ever presented “one iota of evidence” to prove any wrongdoing of the VP. In terms of “hugot” or what drives such commitment, it all probably comes from the many years of attacks, character assassinations and destabilization that political enemies have done to Miriam Defensor Santiago. Unfortunately, then and now, Jun Santiago is limited in what he can do due to political correctness.

Aside from the political statement, the decision to invite the Vice President sets an example and teaches us to stand by our friends even in times when such unpopular acts could cost us. As for VP Sara, Saturday will certainly remind her who her real friends are.

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So, when do you know who your real friends are?

For a retired general and assistant secretary of the DOTC, it was during a media Christmas party where everyone was having a great time, cracking jokes, drinking booze and chanting: Raffle! Raffle! Raffle!

The ex-general and Asec sat in his chair, enjoying the rare company of people, given that he had recently been unceremoniously removed from office and branded a scalawag that turned him into an outcast. He was not the guy to be seen with and he quickly discovered that certain well-known media guys in the party did not want to have their photo with him.

Realizing how hurtful that was, I sat right next to him, had our photos taken and started calling out the guys who were keeping their distance and playing it safe. They were clearly embarrassed, but they also acknowledged it was wrong, so we all had group photos and enjoyed the fete. From that day forward, the ex-gen who was eventually resurrected or reinstated in government always went out of his way to greet me or talk to me when our paths crossed.

Yes, in times of great personal crisis you will discover who your true friends are and who are utterly “user-friendly” or friendly only when using you. The real ones are people who were not your friends but became your friends at your lowest or in your loss. Politicians who lose their position, businessmen who lose their fortunes or celebrities who become old, unpopular or unattractive, they all know the feeling of being unfriended long before it became a social media term.

When my late father Louie Beltran became the subject of a libel case by the President of the Philippines, his so-called friends abandoned him faster than they could evacuate a building during the earthquake. Not only did his regular circle become scarce, even professional contacts and advertisers started pulling out their placements as if the case had a direct effect on their business. People eventually came to their senses and realized that Louie Beltran would not back down, so little by little they started reappearing like nothing had happened.

When the late Ambassador Danding Cojuangco lost in his presidential bid, I personally saw several dozen congressmen formally and “sadly” say goodbye to the Nationalist People’s Coalition in order to join the ruling majority under Fidel Ramos. Most of them said it was out of necessity because abandoning Danding Cojuangco’s NPC and joining the Ramos group ensures funding and budgets for congressional districts. Even today the same rules apply.

ECJ was magnanimous and realistic about the mass resignation, but I am sure that what happened in that hotel that afternoon must have been etched in his mind if not in his heart for a very long time.

In recent times, I’m sure that former president Rodrigo Duterte and his daughter Vice President must be “making a list and checking it twice, making sure who’s naughty or nice,” while their opponents in Congress are crowing like derby winners ruling the roost.

Since we’re on the subject of relationship lessons, let me share what the former governor and congressman from Isabela, Manong Junior Dy a.k.a Jun Dy, reminded me often: “Politics is about addition, not subtraction.” Then there is the lesson that billionaire Jack Ma teaches: “Always respect your competition.”

Judging from the declarations of the Speaker of the House when Congress resumed, he either feels under threat from coup plotters or political competition, or his victories and control over the members of Congress has become so absolute that he can now afford to make victorious declarations with boldness.

Ironically, the Speaker must remind himself that it was not so long ago when he, along with his entire clan, had no friends, no country and no future. To get the kind of second chance that he and his clan have received is not by coincidence or accident. Don’t lash out at your enemies because you become “the pot calling the kettle black.” Instead, understand why you got a second chance and work on legacy, not supremacy. God bless us all.

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