The Epiphany by Arnel Aquino, S.J.

Thank you to Sir Johnny Mercado of PDI for sharing this!

"If you're over forty years old and you've had this strange, urgent feeling that you should be doing something, or making something you'd be remembered by when you're gone, don't worry. You're normal. You're not suffering from desperation or delusions of grandeur. It's all been figured out by psychologists who call this the "generativity vs. stagnation" stage. It's the 7th in eight stages of psycho-social development. Just to give you a brief example. The 1st stage is called "trust vs. mistrust" and occurs in infancy, 0 to 2 years old. Notice how a baby is already nangingilala and can sense if mom is the one carrying or not?…The 5th stage, for example, happens in adolescence: "ego identity vs. role confusion" stage. Notice how teen-agers love to be different in order to fit in? Now, generativity vs. stagnation begins at 40 till the mid-60s…Psychologists say that people in this stage often feel the need to create or "generate", or nurture what will outlast them; like having children, for example, or creating some change that will benefit other people, or leaving something behind to guide the next generation. In our triumphs, we feel we're still useful and needed, especially for our wisdom. In our failures, we dread having stagnated, or led a shallow life. We're afraid of being uselessness and unneeded and forgettable.  Whether we're aware or not, the existential question of this stage is: "Can I make my life count?"

"Now, people in this stage do interesting things. They range from the very selfless to the very strange. (For example)…A former president took up painting in her golden years. She knew they'd fetch a pricely sum when she was gone. And they did. So her children plowed it back into her charitable foundation. Bill Gates had long decided to give his money away. He set up the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation, vaunted to be the most transparently operated charitable foundation in the world…(And then, there's a man who can't just be a telecommunications magnate. He now has to buy hospitals, schools, utility plants, and God knows what else in the future.)…And then, there's this someone who still collects shoes."

"See, it happens to most of us-this growing desire to leave something behind as our testament. And because today is epiphany, let me put it this way: somehow, we want to keep our star burning long after we're gone. We generate, we foster something we hope will outlast us. It's really our way of living on, if a bit longer, after our hearts will have stopped beating."

Now, Herod...went to the deep end for his generativity vs. stagnation stage. It wasn't enough that he was one of the greatest builders in history, he was even called Herod the Great for this. No, he had to murder his two sons, lest they killed him first to usurp the throne. And remember the slaughter of the innocents? If no son of his should take the monarchy away, even less should an infant-stranger prophesied to be king…"

"You know what a black hole is, don't you? A black hole is really a dead star. When a star is about to die, it implodes and shrinks. But unbelievably, it maintains its mass and gravitational pull. So imagine a dead star, now a much smaller ball, but still has gravity so staggering, that anything drifting into its orbit will never escape its grab. Not even light! A black hole, this dead star, is therefore a light-grabber. And Herod was like that, a light-grabber. No other star must shine but his own, least of all, the star of  Bethlehem."

"Enter the wise men, also in their generativity vs. stagnation stage, experts in the motions of the stars and in prophecies: they were sought by kings and princes for enlightenment, like Herod did. But see, in the first Epiphany, they just had to pursue the star that shone more brightly than they. And to that star, they came bearing gifts of their wealth-gold; of their faith and worship-frankincense; and even of their own deaths-myrrh. For here was a child who would be the greatest king-gold, who would be worshipped as God's son-frankincense, and whose body would be perfumed with myrrh when he dies an innocent man. Unlike Herod, the wise men gave as gifts what they received as gifts from God. They left their gifts behind, not to be remembered by, or honored, or to keep shining long after they're gone. They left their gifts behind because this Star, this Light was all they ever needed. When they "departed by another way," the Star guided them no longer from above, but from within. Is there a greater wisdom than to be guided by the true Starlight, and from within?"

"… I believe Epiphany is for us, elders. When we begin to agonize over making our stars burn longer, or start fooling ourselves into believing we should be the brightest star in our own right, or when we become such black holes or light-grabbers while we're at it, Epiphany manifests that the only Star that really matters, is the star of Bethlehem…Our real Star is eternal. And if his Light dwells within us, then we can be eternal, too, even if to the world of time and space, we're utterly forgettable."

"Epiphany reminds us that it's not the light we leave behind that matters. But it's the Light from the Star that guides us within, and carries us beyond our wealth gold, and teaches us whom to worship with the frankincense of our faith, and into whose hands we must surrender everything when our bodies will have been perfumed with myrrh. That's the Light that matters."