On what is your worth based?

 “…Bartimaeus, a blind man, the son of Timaeus, sat by the roadside begging. On hearing that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out and say, ‘Jesus, son of David, have pity on me.’ And many rebuked him, telling him to be silent” (Mark 10: 46-48).

Bartimaeus, a blind beggar, shouts to Jesus for help, but the crowd shushes him. Is it because he is poor? Is it because he cannot see? Bartimaeus continues crying out, and suddenly, the crowd changes its tune and even encourages him: “They called the blind man, saying to him, ‘Take heart; get up, he is calling you’” (Mark 10:49).

What has happened? Bartimaeus is still penniless. His eyes still are darkened. What has changed? The answer: Jesus has called him. And because of this, the crowd takes notice. Because of this, Bartimaeus becomes important.

How people see you can be a sign of your worth, but your worth is not based on what people think of you. Sometimes we suffer from low self-esteem, or we suffer from delusions about our greatness. (Which is worse? I will let you decide.) But our worth is also not based on what we think of ourselves. Our worth ultimately is based on how the Lord sees us.

And how does the Lord see us? He sees us as worthy to be called to his side — not only to be with him, but to work with him and join him in his mission.

When I was in elementary, I was overly grade-conscious. This was why I hated group projects. I dreaded assignments that called for division of labor and cooperation because these just made things more difficult for me. I would end up doing most of the work. It was not because I was generous. It was because I had a hard time trusting my classmates. I did not want them pulling down my grade. Yes, I confess I judged my classmates’ abilities too quickly, but how could I put my oh-so-precious grades in their hands?

 I am more than a bit embarrassed to admit this now, but I do it to stress a point: I could not trust classmates I knew only superficially with something I valued too much; God — who knows all our secret motives, who sees the faults we try to hide — entrusts the glorious work of his creation to us. He calls us to labor with him and continues to do so even if we have failed him so many times. I could not trust my classmates because my grades were more important to me. God’s trust in us should tell us what — or who — are most important to him.

 God’s unique calls to each and every one of us — as priests, teachers, government officials, entrepreneurs, doctors, lawyers, caregivers, fathers, mothers, and so on — should assure us of how much he treasures us. He does not just put projects in our hands; he charges us with something greater. Think not only of those who make policies for the greater population or those whose decisions impact our financial future. Think of those who construct our buildings and bridges, those who drive our buses and trains, those who prepare the food we have on our tables, and those who first taught us how to brush our teeth, say “Please” and “Thank you,” and pray before going to bed. God entrusts us with the lives of others even when many times we cannot even manage our own.

If I were God, I would have a very hard time entrusting the world to people like me. Yet God calls us — though we are poor and feel we have nothing to give, though there are many things we do not see. God looks at us and sees us worthy. So now, as valued, treasured, and loved children of God, how should we respond? We learn from Bartimaeus, the blind beggar:

“So throwing off his cloak, he sprang up and came to Jesus. Then Jesus said to him, ‘What do you want me to do for you?’ The blind man said to him, ‘My teacher, let me see again.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Go; your faith has made you well.’ Immediately he regained his sight and followed him on the way” (Mark 10:50-52).

Being poor, Bartimaeus must not have owned much. His cloak would have surely been not just a useful but a cherished possession. But he was able to throw it aside and rush to Jesus, and the Lord blessed Bartimaeus with renewed sight. What was the sign that Bartimaeus was able to truly see? He was told to go his way, and Bartimaeus knew where to go and whom to follow.

This week, ask yourself this question: “What is God calling me to do today?” Try to pray: “Lord, let me see again. Let me see what I have to throw aside to answer your call more faithfully. Help me follow you on your way.”

(Fr. Francis was ordained in 2009 and served in the PGH until May 2011. He is currently taking further studies in Sacred Scripture. For feedback on this column, email [email protected].)