Kung hei fat choi, lover boys and girls

The Chinese New Year this year coincides with Valentine’s Day. So don’t pinch your lover if he/she whispers in your ear, with dim lights in the room: Kung hei fat choi.

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Someone told me there’s a Valentine t-shirt with a picture of Cupid riding on a tiger. That’s nothing compared to another t-shirt showing Cupid without an arrow but with a shotgun.

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One Valentine’s Day when I was younger, a woman called up to ask if I liked a heart-shaped chocolate. I said yes, yes! I have always been a chocolate monster. “I’ll send you some,” she said. The chocolate came with an invoice charging me P900.

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Chocolate and Valentine’s Day always go together. Have you noticed? And have you noticed also that many relationships developed on this day nasikwate?

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One Pastor Ricaredo Lana, sa Davao college teacher of Cebuano parentage, called up to inform me he had seen the Jose Gullas Museum. “I’m impressed,” he said. “Others should see it too. It’s the only one of its kind I know.” Yes, indeed. To Jose is to believe.

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“By the way,” Pastor Ricaredo Lana said, “I’m not a pastor of any religious group. Pastor is my first name.” I asked him if it was okay if I called him Pastor Oil. He replied: “Hahaha!”

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Pastor Lana suggested that Sir Dodong Gullas display in the museum the lyrics of the National Anthem in Cebuano. He mentioned the works of Jess Vestil, Dading Alferez and Wilfredo Seco. “Mga kanta sab ni nga angay’ng tipigan,” he said.

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An etiquette consultant said on tv: “Never tell a person how old he/she looks or how fat he/she (especially she) is. It’s bad manners.”

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She related a story about a government clerk who lost his job after telling a co-worker: “Tiguwang naman diay ang bag-o tang boss.” The boss heard it and the next thing that happened he was seen looking for the help wanted ads in the papers.

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Some years back I was introduced to middle-aged society matron from Manila. She asked: “Are you the same Juanito Jabat who wrote for the Free Press and other national publications?” I said: “Yes, Ma’am, ako.” I was so proud until she went on to say: “Matanda ka na pala, ano?” Ugh!

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I wanted to say: “Look who’s talking.” But the good boy in me got in the way. Besides I’m one person who takes pride in my old age. Many friends of mine tried to reach this far but failed. They must be waiting for me where they are and must be saying: “Dugaya Nito oy.” Hehehe!

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