A day to remember (Part II)

Yesterday was really a day for our family to remember Joyce our only daughter who died six years ago after a lingering and painful bout with the dreaded breast cancer.

When Joyce was already stricken with the dreaded disease, she wrote about her situation and how she had been coping with it which clearly explains why she and her cousin Menchu who were both numerary members of the Opus Dei had such kind of remarkable calmness, serenity and joy in the face of pain, suffering and impending death. She was actually citing some of the beautiful messages of the Opus Dei Founder, St. Josemaria Escriva. I am sharing it in the hope that it may help others, particularly cancer victims. Continuing from yesterday, this is what Joyce further said:  

“The diagnosis came on January 2: Malignant! It was then that I asked that question I would tell my students to have the habit of asking, since doing so opens one up to a whole new world of knowledge: Why? Why? Why me? Why this? Why now?! . . . to my surprise, in the solace of prayer, God answers: Why not? Then the prayers our founder would usually pray came ringing in my mind: May the most just and the most lovable will of God be done, be fulfilled, be praised and eternally exalted above all things. Amen. Amen.        

Take note, the Amen has to be said twice because one usually prays this in moments difficult to accept. That is the answer to the why? Or why not? - because, God wants it this way! The entire program of our life is to work for the fulfillment of God’s will, and for me, at this moment, He wants to carry out His will in and through this sickness. Many great things depend - don’t forget it — on whether you and I live our lives as God wants.

Now I know what we have to fight. I have to enroll in a course — chemotherapy, and in spiritual course of which he tells us in The Way: A whole program for a good course in the “subject” of suffering has been given to us by the Apostle: “rejoicing in hope,” “patient in tribulations,” “persevering in prayer.”

REJOICE…For those who cry when I break the news to them: Please change your tears for Joyce to tears of Joy! Or take advantage of all occasions in the ordinary events in your life to make fun out of them. I play magic with my nephews: Now you see the hair (wig), now you don’t (baldness)! You should see the look of wonder in those innocent eyes! Or when I look at any x-ray film of my bone structure: Imagine! I can see here my future! Rejoice! Just because you are sick, do you have to be sad? He says: The cheerfulness you should have is not the kind we might call physiological . . . like that of a healthy animal. Rather, it is the supernatural happiness that comes, from the abandonment of everything, including yourself, into the loving arms of our Father God. So, rejoice! And rejoice in hope! — Heaven is in store for you! Of course I have to fight sin, to go to confessions when needed…

Patience . . . Patient in tribulation . . . when you are told not to move or to talk while having a 30-minute bone scan and meanwhile here are the x-ray technicians talking about their experience in the morgue — of the yucky things they saw, and the foul odor they smelled! Thank God I’ll be dead before I see or smell myself in that state! . . . Patience! . . . . when your stomach tells you to eat and your head tells you to throw it out!...Pasensya!...when you are used to working surely and intensely for many hours a day and now you have to adjust to whatever small jobs your body will allow to work on! . . . Pasensya! . . . when you finally work but then the computer is not compatible with you!!! . . . Santa Pasensya!

But are these really tribulations? If they are not, I don’t know what you would call them. He would tell us to co-redeem with Christ in the pinpricks of daily activities. What value these pinpricks have! — to co-redeem with Christ! To save souls, win them for the Kingdom of God! These pinpricks may make us go through a rough time, so he wrote: Take upon your shoulders a small part of that cross, just a tiny part. And if you can’t manage that then…leave it entirely on the strong shoulders of Christ.   

Persevering in prayer…Many people tell me they are praying for me. Since they are doing it for me, I have resolved not to pray for myself, but for those who pray for me. Mommy’s note reads: People who know you’re sick, worry and pray for you, please pray for them too that they don’t get sick worrying about you. And besides, I’m asked to pray for many intentions — people have faith that my prayers are powerful. How can I not pray if they have great faith in my prayers! Opus Dei was born in the hospitals in Madrid, with prayers of the sick people, I do pray, but I have to be persevering in doing so . . . because acceptance of the will of Father God has to be renewed each time He shows us what He wants. Being in the year of the Holy Spirit — another one of those coincidences with this cancer — this advice takes on a new form: Get to know the Holy Spirit, the Great Unknown, the one who has to sanctify you. Don’t forget that you are a temple of God. The Paraclete is in the center of your soul: listen to Him and follow his inspirations with docility. So persevere in prayer, persevere in the listening to the Holy Spirit, in following his inspirations of docility. And my God, the Holy Spirit is like a woman! — when you start listening to Him, He never stops talking to you! And like a woman, He speaks of small details of delicateness, of affection . . . of Love.”

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